KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND

Nostradamus

Veteran X
YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command - including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.
-The Chief

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coombz said:
tell me about the fucking golf shoes

Only a man on LSD understands the need for golf shoes.


Terrible things were happening all around us. Right next to me a huge reptile was gnawing on a woman's neck, the carpet was a blood-soaked sponge - impossible to walk on it, no footing at all. "Order some golf shoes," I whispered. "Otherwise, we'll never get out of this place alive. You notice these lizards don't have any trouble moving around in this muck - that's because they have claws on their feet."
 
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

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Yeah, it's def time for some more Wild Turkey.
 
I decided not to tell him about the bats, poor bastard would be seeing them soon enough.
 
What is the exact wording of the segment when Hunter is informing his attorney of the proper way to handle the young girl he found on the plane and seduced with his uncircumcised penis?
 
In like 50 years, when I'm a hobbled old man, I'm going to put an ugly .357 in my mouth, and tape a note on my chest. It will simply say "For Hunter". He was a man's man. A modern-day Hemmingway, deranged on drugs. A true role model for us all.

Masamune/Xerxes said:
What is the exact wording of the segment when Hunter is informing his attorney of the proper way to handle the young girl he found on the plane and seduced with his uncircumcised penis?

"She's perfect for this gig," I said. "These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang-fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back-street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these pigs loose on her... Hell, she's strong; she'll hold her own."

His face was twitching badly. We were in the elevator now, descending into the lobby. "Jesus Christ," he muttered. "I knew you were sick, but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff." He seemed stunned.

I laughed. "It's straight economics. This girl is a godsend!" I fixed him with a natural Bogart smile, all teeth... Shit, we're almost broke! And suddenly you pick up some muscle-bond loony who can make us a grand a day."

"No!" he shouted. "Stop talking like that!" The elevator door opened and we walked toward the parking lot.

"I figure she can do about four at a time," I said. "Christ if we keep her full of acid that's more like two grand a day; maybe three."

"You filthy bastard!" he sputtered. "I should cave your fucking head in!"
 
didnt Hunter S Thompson have some thing in his will to do some crazy thing for his funneral on his property ?

i thought i remmeber hearing something like this
 
Travace said:
didnt Hunter S Thompson have some thing in his will to do some crazy thing for his funneral on his property ?

i thought i remmeber hearing something like this

His ashes were shot out of a huge cannon I believe.
 
right right that was it

do you recall if that was open to the public or was it invite only type thing ?
 
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole multi colored collection of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
 
Travace said:
didnt Hunter S Thompson have some thing in his will to do some crazy thing for his funneral on his property ?

i thought i remmeber hearing something like this

His ashes were shot out of a giant cannon shaped as a double-thumbed fist grabbing a peyote (mescaline) button, while Bob Dylan's Mr. Tambourine Man played. The party was funded by Johnny Depp and was attending by such crazy wackos as John Kerry, George McGovern, and Sean Penn.


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I have some sort of psychic orgasm whenever I read HST. Sitting here on this wretched morning, awake all night long drinking poison-vodka that tastes like water with scorpions... He did everything most of us would fucking love to do, but are too cowardly. He rode with the Hell's Angels, and wrote for the Times. He dropped LSD and ran for sheriff. He snorted coke and talked sports with that scumsucker Nixon.

....

But what kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries? These puddles of glazed catsup on the bureau?

Maybe so. But then why all this booze? and these crude pornographic photos, ripped out of pulp magazines like Whores of Sweeden and Orgies in the Casbah, that were plastered on the broken mirror with smears of mustard that had dried to a hard yellow crust... and all these signs of violence, these strange red and blue bulbs and shards of glass embedded in the wall plaster...

No, these were not the hoofprints of your normal, godfearing junkie. It was far too aggressive. There was evidence, in this room, of excessive consumption of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 AD.
 
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