[EPIC] Bush Vs. Kerry COMBAT

[sekdar]

Hmm, Kerry did go to 'nam and stuff so I imagine he does have some basic hand to hand combat training

so what - he can't even catch a fucking football

 

[Uncle Slappy]

Although Chenny would be a dwarf.

Seriously though, Kerry would crush Bush with his wallet.

 

[RNJBOND]

Okay, this is a Dungeons and Dragons deal.

First off, for simplicity sake, let's use 2.0 rules. Prestiege classes can get annoying.

So we got Kerry. He's pretty tall, very old looking, but still participates in many sports. He's definately an Elf. And we all know that elfs get a bonus to dexterity and a penalty to strength.

Bush on the other hand is about normal height, and doesen't look too weird. So he's a human. Although Chenny would be a dwarf.

Kerry would be a Fighter, straight up I believe. He's seen combat, so I'd imagine he'd be quite proficient in the long sword (Anyone who's seen the newer version of Romeo and Juilet knows what I'm talking about.)

Bush would be a Paladan, being the great crusader he is. The class prevents him from being as proficient in weaponry, but he has the ability to cast certain spells. 3 charges of MakeUpAWord lvl 5, anyone?

I will continue this annaylisis shortly.

You're getting way too into this.

 

[noyeti]

Kerry would ride up on a Segway and throw a pretzel into Dumbya's face, causing him to choke. While Bush was choking Kerry would launch the Segway into Bushs knee, causing him to lean over. Then Bushs dog would run up and chew the fuck out of Bushs face (for dropping the dog on his head).

Then Bin Laden would walk up and shoot Kerry with an AK for killing his best recruiter with a Pretzel.

End of thred.

 

[euph]

Bush would hear there was gonna be a fight and join the Natl. Guard.

hah

 

[HeckeL]

bush would knock the shit out of kerry.

kerry is probably in better physical condition, but bush would go apeshit on his ass.

 

[boston]

bush would knock the shit out of kerry.

kerry is probably in better physical condition, but bush would go apeshit on his ass.

yeah, cause bush would snort a line before the fight.

 

[apollod]

Hmm, Kerry did go to 'nam and stuff so I imagine he does have some basic hand to hand combat training, but Bush played rugby and stuff in College. I'm gonna say Bush in a VERY close fight. Kerry'll fuck him up in the important fight, though.

kerry got awarded "The enemy marksmanship award" (ie the purple heart.. but we called it the enemy marksmanship award in basic) 3 times in 4 months.. kerry isn't exactly "good"...

 

[Archaic]

Kerry would be a Fighter, straight up I believe. He's seen combat, so I'd imagine he'd be quite proficient in the long sword (Anyone who's seen the newer version of Romeo and Juilet knows what I'm talking about.)

Talking about Baz Lhurmans or whatever, where all the guns have names on them, like the pistols say Daggers and shit?

Really, really, really homosexual reference if that's the case.

And if you do continue this "analysis" I'm going to punch you right in the face through my mother fucking monitor.

 

[Iason]

Kerry would show up, trip on his shoelaces and then be awarded the win

or a purple heart

 

[Yogi Bear]

Kerry would fight a more sensitive fight against Bush

Then Bush would kick him in the nuts and tell him hes liberated

That made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes for some reason

 

[Wulfen]

Kerry would show up, trip on his shoelaces and then be awarded the win

Hilarious stuff.

 

[Nyarlathotep]

"The enemy marksmanship award" (ie the purple heart.. but we called it the enemy marksmanship award in basic)

 

[JodoFett]

Okay, this is a Dungeons and Dragons deal.

First off, for simplicity sake, let's use 2.0 rules. Prestiege classes can get annoying.

So we got Kerry. He's pretty tall, very old looking, but still participates in many sports. He's definately an Elf. And we all know that elfs get a bonus to dexterity and a penalty to strength.

Bush on the other hand is about normal height, and doesen't look too weird. So he's a human. Although Chenny would be a dwarf.

Kerry would be a Fighter, straight up I believe. He's seen combat, so I'd imagine he'd be quite proficient in the long sword (Anyone who's seen the newer version of Romeo and Juilet knows what I'm talking about.)

Bush would be a Paladan, being the great crusader he is. The class prevents him from being as proficient in weaponry, but he has the ability to cast certain spells. 3 charges of MakeUpAWord lvl 5, anyone?

I will continue this annaylisis shortly.

 

[dan-o2]

kerry got awarded "The enemy marksmanship award" (ie the purple heart.. but we called it the enemy marksmanship award in basic) 3 times in 4 months.. kerry isn't exactly "good"...

I would tell you what awards Bush won, but he never actually made it to vietnam.

 

[TonyElTigre]

i dont like explinations that require 12 sided die

 

[TonyElTigre]

I would tell you what awards Bush won, but he never actually made it to vietnam.

I'll tell you one thing he won, hes about to win his second

 

[Musashi]

Bush would hear there was gonna be a fight and join the Natl. Guard.

for the record, there are a lot of national guard names on the black wall.

 

[TonyElTigre]

John Kerry would tell you Joining the guard is equivalent to running to Canada

 

[Musashi]

John Kerry would tell you Joining the guard is equivalent to running to Canada

did you see the reception kerry got speaking to the national guardsmen?


Ice cold.