Your Martial Art Sucks Dick

hardluck

Veteran X
"Grand Celestial Do" is the ultimate and I will crush you.

http://cosmicfighting.atspace.com/

It happened in 1976. I was 22-years-old, and I just graduated college and was working as an accountant in Crystal Falls, Michigan. There was a blue light in the sky in front of the road. It got closer and closer, and then I saw the ship hovering above me. Then I realized that I was no longer in my car. I have been teleported onto the craft.

Then I saw them. The Visitors. There were five of them. One spoke to me, not in words, but telepathically. He made me feel safe. He told me no harm will come to me. They took me to their planet located near the center of the Orion System. I spent 11 years there. They taught me many things. The mission I was given was to teach people on Earth their fighting art. It was an art that they used themselves, but they molded it to fit the human body.

For those who dismiss me right away without even witnessing Grand Celestial Do for yourself, then so be it. You will be missing out on something life changing. The proof will come on exactly May 12, 4025 A.D. at the beginning of the Turbulent Solstice, when the Visitors will make themselves known.

When we think evil thoughts or do evil deeds, we manifest negative energy. This is called Honite Energy. Once Honite Energy is released into the atmosphere, it all collects at a certain spot at the edge of the universe. The tremendous gathering of Honite Energy is known as the Dark Mass. All the negative energy coming from all the evil thoughts and actions from the planetary systems in the universe feeds the Dark Mass. The Visitors calculated that the Dark Mass will grow to maximum size and develop awareness. The Dark Mass will come forth and envelope all the planetary systems. To fight this, all the intelligent civilizations in the universe will have to ban together and produce positive Photonic Energy to dismantle the Dark Mass. Most of the civilizations on other planets are similar to that of Earth. They have constant wars and violence. At the beginning of the Turbulent Solstice, when the Dark Mass will develop awareness, all individuals on these planets must stop fighting and unite in love and peace knowing there is a greater enemy to fight. On Earth, this is what we must do when that time happens. All the petty skirmishes and wars involving land, religion, money, and power will have to end. All people of the earth must align along with the civilizations of other planets to form a large collective union to produce positive Photonic Energy to destroy the Dark Mass. This is not science fiction. It is not fantasy. This is truth. On May 12, 4025 A.D., it will be proven.

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The Marquette Arts & Culture Center

300 W Baraga Ave Marquette, Michigan

Head Instructor: Celestial Grandmaster George Salusbury

Interim Instructor: Celestial Master Jason Ziegler

(Special Note: Master Ziegler will be teaching the class while Grandmaster Salusbury is currently making numerous visits to the Intergalactic Solstice Committee in the Orion System)

Schedule: Saturday, Sunday -- 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM / Tuition: $500.00 per month
 
LRonHubbard (in LA Times) said:
Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, the best way to do it would be start his own religion.
 
Update: 02/11/2006. We are not accepting new students at this time due to an alert. All current students are to report to alternate location Delta 9 for their classes. No classes will be held at the community facilities listed below until further instructions. Please see Update for further information.


Apparently the end is nigh.
 
I or any of my advanced students can enter any professional martial art tournament, mixed martial arts cage match, wrestling matches, ect., and can easily win.

I love that part.^^^
 
hfingers said:
I or any of my advanced students can enter any professional martial art tournament, mixed martial arts cage match, wrestling matches, ect., and can easily win.

I love that part.^^^


I'd put $$ on the fact my dog could probably take all of them.
 
Grand Celestial Do sounds like a powerful fighting art. But I can't help wondering whether its students ever reach 110% Intensity.
 
the gun defense looks like a good way to get shot in the stomach or groin

although with the Photonic Assault it just might work
 
BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA

The World Would Be At Peace If We Learn To Drink Each Other's Urine

During my 11 years on the Visitors' planet, they taught me a fable. This fable is usually told to Visitor infants to learn trust and bonding. The Visitors told me this story telepathically, but let me try to translate it into written words. Some of the phrases and terminology may have been changed or substituted for you to understand its meaning. Despite the distastefulness of the title of the fable, it is in fact a beautiful story.

There was a transporter ship that was flying through the Crandolyne galaxy. The ship was struck by a comet and the ship crashed into a desert planet. Only four people survived - a Mammalian, a Reptilian, a Crustacean, and an Insectoid -- all from different reaches of the universe. The desert planet had no water. It had some small plants, bugs and small animals that they could eat. The four individuals stayed together, but they did not socialize with each other, because they were so different. Their habits, mannerism, and belief system were totally polar to one another. One saw the other's behavior as either rude, revolting, or backwards. Soon, they began suffering from thirst because of the lack of water.

Each one did what they can to survive. They began drinking their own urine. It was a nauseating act, but they had to do it to live. However, the Mammalian and the Reptilian started running out of urine. As they were dying, the Crustacean offered his urine to them. Since it was grotesque enough drinking their own urine, they can't stomach the thought of drinking the urine of another species. Then they realized they had no choice, and they did it. Then the Mammalian, Reptilian, and Crustacean began sharing and recycling each other's urine. However, the three began running out of urine. The Insectoid, however, can produce a large amount of urine, since his body is able to convert most solid food matter into water. But the other three would not drink the Insectoid's urine for it was the most rotten smelling urine they have ever seen. In time, once again, they had no choice. They forced themselves to drink the Insectoid's urine. As the years went by, the four shared each others' urine and began coming closer and closer. Soon, they learned to totally trust and depend on one another. They even loved each other like brothers. The urine did not taste like urine any more -- it was just liquid -- it was just water. After many years, on the planet each one started dying of old age, but as each one passed on, they had loved in their hearts for the other.

The moral of this story is that in order to survive, we must remove the hate we have and rely on one another. However, we know at the beginning this can be very difficult. It's like asking the Jews and Muslims in the Middle East to announce peace and join together. But in time, they would realize that they need one another, and the Jews and Muslims will have to drink each other's urine so to speak. Regardless of how undesirable that will be, we all must do it in order to live on this planet. Soon, we will no longer think of our fellow man's urine as just urine, but the urine will taste like flowing, fresh life-giving water to all of us. We are all one in this universe.

-- George Salusbury

http://cosmicfighting.atspace.com/update.html
 
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