Obligatory jokes

i hate those jokes and feel like a douche when I accidentally make one

like if something doesn't scan right at a grocery store and someone says "Must be free HO HOHO" I want to stab them in the face
 
For someone who has to go to the dentist: "Oh do you have an appointment at tooth hurty" har har.

Someone actually said that to me once and I stood blank faced. I got the joke, it just was so bad it had passed "funny bad" and ended up in "not funny bad".
 
Whenever someone gives me a compliment like, "Thank you for hold the door for me", or, "That was a good idea", I will say

"You should see me naked!"

It's kinda like "that's what she said", but not as old. I forget where I heard that one....


Another one I like to do if one of my coworkers is leaving for a meeting or for lunch, I will say, "Have a good weekend!" This is really only funny near teh beginning of the week, though.
 
whenever I'm furiously masturbating in the corner of restrooms and someone walks in and tries to interrupt me I always turn around and say "you looked better in my mind". fucking gets them every time.
 
Oktane said:
We do this all the time at the bar: you're at the bar and you hear a huge "CRASHHH" like somebody just dropped a glass that exploded when it hit the floor, yell out "PUT THAT ANYWHERE"

Also works in restaurants when somebody drops a stack of plates or something like that.
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That's what she said.


*rimshot*
 
Brasstax said:
When you are getting ready to give a girl backdoor pleasure and she leans over and spreads her cheeks and says "Here's lookin' at you". That gets so old.
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:rofl: oh my christ holy rofl :rofl:


Falhawk said:
i hate those jokes and feel like a douche when I accidentally make one

like if something doesn't scan right at a grocery store and someone says "Must be free HO HOHO" I want to stab them in the face
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god i fucking loathe this.
 
IHateFatGirls.gif
 
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