Dad Jokes

[T-Dawg]

Hai-kü is not made
with a U, it is made with
alt 0 2 5 2

 

[T-Dawg]

When Trump was asked if he handled the Covid pandemic properly, he responded

"I'm positive."

 

[T-Dawg]

I invested every penny I have in a cannabis-fed cattle business

The steaks have never been higher

 

[bowl of blood]

that reminds me of the time my dad caught me smoking pot. he took me out to his car in our garage, made me hold the edge of the trunk, and slammed it shut on my fingers. i ended up dropping out of high school because i couldn't hold a pencil to write.

 

[Dr Dance]

that reminds me of the time my dad caught me smoking pot. he took me out to his car in our garage, made me hold the edge of the trunk, and slammed it shut on my fingers. i ended up dropping out of high school because i couldn't hold a pencil to write.

But at least you couldn't hold a grudge.

 

[T-Dawg]

Looks like the White House went viral.





Too soon?

 

[T-Dawg]

Someone asked who my favorite vampire was. I said the Muppet from Sesame Street. They said "He doesn't count."

I replied "I assure you, he does."

 

[T-Dawg]

I wasn't planning on getting a brain transplant

but I changed my mind

 

[T-Dawg]

Why can't skeletons play church music?

They don't have any organs.

 

[Dr Dance]

When I lie in bed just before dropping off to sleep, I contemplate eternity. It's taking forever.

 

[Dr Dance]

I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it just in case there's a salad dressing.

 

[bowl of blood]

if you have a daughter, you are a gay man. dna science has proven this. 60% of fathers are gay.

 

[Nmag]

*burp*
Excuse me for being so rude
it was not me, it was my food.
I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart
but it if came out the other end it would have been a
*audible fart*

 

[T-Dawg]

A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can't believe it's not better.

 

[samUwell]

 

[bowl of blood]

200 year old bad memes are more of a mom joke tbh

 

[T-Dawg]

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

 

[Golgac]

A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can't believe it's not better.

You have been in a land of aches

 

[lemon]

I think u misspelled dud jokes

 

[T-Dawg]

I entered my Chihuahua in an "ugliest dog" contest and I won first place!

The dog came in third.