A goose attacked me this morning

T

Trinston

Veteran XV
A chronicle of goose adventures at work:

4/6 8:42 AM
A goose attacked me this morning. We have one path from our parking garage to the building entrance and a goose has laid eggs in the flowers by the path. Nobody knows this and everyone is just trying to walk by like it is this harmless goose. I tried to walk by and it started flapping its wings at me and air charged me. I just spent half an hour watching it bull rush unsuspecting people. I witnessed a grown man backdown and run away as a goose charged him.

4/6 9:29 AM
They put cones up to signify a hazard zone. There are 2 geese there now fending everyone off. They have caution tape also about to go up and someone is directing people/car traffic.

4/6 9:49 AM
The Canadian Goose is a protected animal, there is now an environmental truck out there assessing the situation. This is turning into a really big deal.

4/6 - 4/13 Various goose attacks on unsuspecting people.
Saturday work story:
The other guy in my office came in to work, parked in the garage, and had to face the geese. He was just casually strolling along enjoying a tootsie roll pop and some cracker jacks. He was pretty far away from it when it took flight right at him. He turned and started to run away from it, and threw the bag of cracker jacks back at it over his shoulder while running. He got in his car to hide and watched as it started to eat his cracker jacks. Total domination.

4/13 1:22 PM
A goose crossing sign and larger cones have been put up. People continue to not take the cones seriously, often paying dearly.

4/14 10:19 AM
Some guy was walking near the goose and the goose took flight and swooped in right at his head. The guy ducked but the goose made a quick turn and swooped back in, nearly missing his head again. The guy lost his balance and fell into a huge rain puddle.

4/14 3:48 PM
A woman in high heels attempts to cross into the danger zone. The male goose charges her and she backs off. She attempts again, the goose flies at her face flapping and hissing, she falls over.

4/14 4:30 PM
I snap a picture of the goose situation, and we have serious discussions with upper management about purchasing a webcam.

goosexing.jpg
 
:lol: that is pretty funny stuff.

i seen one attack my cousin at a park once. They bite hard supposedly as well.
 
Awesome. They've been hanging around work here as well. Fuckers crossing the street back and forth making cars stop is lol funny.


RELATED: My uncle had a couple of big ass swans that would go after you if you went near their pond. They would rear up and be 5 or 6 feet tall and pound you with their beaks and wings.
 
there's a whole flock of them outside our work and it's fucking season

they hiss the whole day, scream at each other and random people who get to close, shit everywhere (some poor maintenance dude is outside with a pressure washer almost every week blasting goose shit off the walkways) and stop traffic

gotta love em because they are completely fearless towards humans
 
Yeah, they are all over our business park, but all the others seem to be hanging out in isolated areas. These two are right out our main entrance fucking with everyone. Parking lot is covered in shit, I think I read they drop 2-4 pounds a day. I don't wear nice shoes to work now, just in case.
 
I was driving by a family of geese and one jumped up on my windshield. It hit the windshield and slid down my hood. I was only going 5mph so it didn't get hurt. The look on its face was hilarious. It was like "Shit this was a bad idea."

Also,
 
i've had some funny interactions at the chip and putt course with geese

my friend charged a whole flock of them with his 9-iron and putter, and one stayed back and air-charged him, hovering in place and hissing. if my friend didn't have the golf clubs he wouldn't have been able to fend it off very well.
 
there can also be unforeseen consequences if you chase geese

this is a kid i knew in HS, during HS, in a completely unstaged chronicle of weird shit that people do. we had no idea who that guy was.

 
Last edited:
Cuda said:
I was driving by a family of geese and one jumped up on my windshield. It hit the windshield and slid down my hood. I was only going 5mph so it didn't get hurt. The look on its face was hilarious. It was like "Shit this was a bad idea."

Also,
Click to expand...

how fucking great would that have been if it was a AFLAC employee
 
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