Telemarketers are so much fun.

D

DrSbaitso

Contributor
Veteran XX
I love telemarketers. Really, I do. They're so amusing. I usually find some new and exciting way of messing with them when they call. One time I old a long distance TM that I don't make long distance phone calls, I just communicate telepathically. One old woman trying to sell me siding was bugged about the electrical conductance of their siding. Some black woman from Pitney Bose thinks where I work sells sex toys.

So anyway, I just got a call from AT&T about my long distance service. We're on an unlimited long distance plan, we pay I think it's $40 a month, unlimited long distance. I was feeling particularly witty today, so I told her "Yea, I'm not in the mood to mess with you". She continued her sales pitch. I asked her if she heard what I just said. She responded "Yup! I just want to make sure you're getting the best price for your long distance." I responded again that I was not interested in AT&T as a long distance provider. She contined her sales pitch. At this point, I interrupted her and said it was awfully nice of AT&T to employ the mentally retarded, but I still wasn't interested. The moron continued her sales pitch. I sat incredulous for a minute, and asked her if she was blonde. "Why yes, sir. How could you tell?" I told her "Because I've insulted you several times and you're still trying to sell me something I've told you I'm not interested in."

Dumb blonde. I think I'm going to go up to Radio Shack and pick up something so I can record this shit.

CLIFF NOTES:
Got call from AT&T
Insulted the operator several times
She didn't give up
Going to go to Radio Shack and pick up a recorder for next time.
 
^wargod said:
how many sales do they actually make? are they even cost effective
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I try to make them as ineffective as possible. The longer you keep them on the phone, the worse their rating becomes, the more ineffecient their call center becomes.

Oh yea, here's a good link for telemarketers. http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html They have a script, so why shouldn't you?
Here's another good link: http://www.stopjunkcalls.com/script.htm
And here's a story of a guy who got fed up: http://www.panix.com/~eck/telemarket.html
 
[THE]Perrin said:
I was expecting more funny than that.

But I suppose I had higher expectation from past posts.
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I was hoping for more funny too, but I just wasn't feeling any groove. Usually my "encounters" with telemarketers are a lot more fun.
 
They have to finish the pitch.
They are trained like monkeys to read the script, and then respond to objections.
All objections are on the screen, they are simply pushing buttons and reading.
Yes, she heard you the first time.
But every call they make is being taped. And there is usually a supervisor watching them over their shoulder, even listening in on a 2nd line.

Ragging on her doesn't change anything. She's just trying to make a buck, and they make close to minimum wage.

Their sales are tracked by computer. Those who suck get booted. Those who are good eventually burn out.

But if you really wanted to hurt them, the best thing would be to go along with the pitch, ask them to repeat stuff, object to a few things, agree to the sale, then back out at the last minute when they ask if you're sure. You could even ask that their supervisor get on the phone, then say you're just wasting their time so their sales per hour drops.
 
lol, people buy telephone recorders all the time and return them the next week after they get what they want, I only exchange for store credit now.

(I work at radioshack)
 
My favorite is when luke is getting into the box and the boss says "Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that." and Luke replies "Nah, calling it your job don't make it right, Boss." I think that should be a pretty profound statement to a lot of people about how they look at their lives.
 
ReCurve said:
My favorite is when luke is getting into the box and the boss says "Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that." and Luke replies "Nah, calling it your job don't make it right, Boss." I think that should be a pretty profound statement to a lot of people about how they look at their lives.
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:huh:
 
I always see how long they will stay on hold. They are giving the pitch and I'll say "oh, hang on the dogs want back inside" and I'll lay the phone down and time it to see how long they wait. My record is about 16 minutes.
 
NoGodForMe said:
They have to finish the pitch.
They are trained like monkeys to read the script, and then respond to objections.
All objections are on the screen, they are simply pushing buttons and reading.
Yes, she heard you the first time.
But every call they make is being taped. And there is usually a supervisor watching them over their shoulder, even listening in on a 2nd line.

Ragging on her doesn't change anything. She's just trying to make a buck, and they make close to minimum wage.

Their sales are tracked by computer. Those who suck get booted. Those who are good eventually burn out.

But if you really wanted to hurt them, the best thing would be to go along with the pitch, ask them to repeat stuff, object to a few things, agree to the sale, then back out at the last minute when they ask if you're sure. You could even ask that their supervisor get on the phone, then say you're just wasting their time so their sales per hour drops.
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Yea, ususally I'll string them along as long as I possibly can. My two best were great ones.

(1) This woman called me from Orlando (I'm in Jacksonville, FL), offering me a vacation package to stay at some hotel of some sort. Close to Disneyworld and all that. I listened to her pitch, asked her all sorts of questions, strung her on for a good ten minutes. Then, I very quickly said "No thank you, I'm not interested, thank you very much have a nice day." and hung up. I walked away from the phone thinking "well, that was a good ten minutes of amusement". Then the phone rang again. It was the same woman. She said "Jerk", and hung up. I laughed for a good five minutes over that one.

(2) I work at a place called Postal Annex. We pack, ship, fax, copy, scan, laminate, and all sorts of other stuff. We ship through UPS, FedEx, and USPS primarily. One day, a woman from Pitney Bose (you know, those postal meter things on TV?) called up and started her pitch. My boss originally picked up, and, as they had called before, he was tired of talking to them. I asked for the phone, and asked if I could go to town with her.

She started her pitch again since I was the "business owner", and got to the point where she asked what we did. I told her we sold sex toys. Throughout the entire call, I was choking back laughter as I was talking to this black woman about shipping sex toys all over. I questioned her about the postal meter for a good five minutes, then I began comparing the value of the postal meter (able to apply postage right instore), versus having an employee stand in line down the strip mall at the local post office branch. I becan comparing the cost of rent versus paying an employee for about a half hour. I also questioned her about the amount of electricity it consumed, if there was any markup on the postage, et cetera. Eventually, she got the hint that I was just pulling her chain, and started getting a little huffy. Pitney Bose has yet to call again, and probably still thinks we sell sex toys :D
 
Okay, I was a telemarketer for 2 months at MCI when i was 16. The number 1 way to piss off a telemarketer above all others is to ACCEPT their plan, but it always had to be forwarded to a third party verifier. When you talk to the varifyer to acknowledge that you accepted the plan, tell them that you have no idea what they are talking about and that you didn't even talk to a telemarketer. This is reported back to the telemarketer a few minutes later, and this gives them a very bad rating.

This only works through companies that require you to be forwarded to a 3rd party verifier.
 
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