[WORK] Project Managers of TW

this is a troll thread of some kind
youre well-known as far too stupid to have a job, let alone one with responsibility
 
Hi Internet strangers. Is software designed to track projects good for helping to track projects?

Sincerely
Dumb Derp Fuckup
 
LGBR said:
this is a troll thread of some kind
youre well-known as far too stupid to have a job, let alone one with responsibility
Click to expand...
basing this thread on content alone, it sounds like brutal is a pm(lol) who is wondering if ms project would be good for tracking projects
 
stupid
just brutal

also lol both of my businesses are located in the US
 
Project tools are dumb because all they do is put deadlines on things. At most companies, you have a Jewish CEO asking for everything to be done now. Where I work, the programmers report to the director (or VP) of IT once a week to go over projects. Big projects are easier when split up into smaller tasks. We do have a help desk system to track tickets (which was written in house). Tickets come into the help desk and are distributed to the proper department. The help desk system is more important than project tools.

I'm working on a new file load for incoming orders using a new pipe delimited file. Seems easy right, wrong. There's 2 different order types, and 5 confirmation files going back. So I did the order load first, an ASN, a Confirmation, and a Void file going back. Now I have to work on the order load for bulk orders, and an open orders report. Lots of things, they have to be done one at a time. I call it "evolution" as we work through projects. They don't get done in a day, plus there's a ton of testing after everything is coded.
 
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project tools are dumb because when you have to track the status of 30 people's individual efforts to the collective goal making deadlines and the ability to know where you're at in a certain aspect of your project is for jews who are greedy for money
 
I decided while working at AT&T that project managers are fucking retarded.

How hard is it to take notes throughout the day that say, 'need to call so-and-so' or 'passed to so-and-so to set up such and such on $(date)'. All you fuckin do is ask people where they are at with a project, make a note of it, and update the client.

Make a fukn checklist in a text editor that outlines a project's stages, put whomever is working on a particular step's name next to that stage of the project. Print it, pin it to the wall, when they finish a stage, cross their name and that step off the list.

Send emails two days before client calls so you dont sound like a fucking moron on the phone with them when you have no idea what's going on because you contribute nothing but dumb questions to the project as a whole.
 
It depends on what you are doing and what you want to accomplish.

We do "proper" project management here with all the people with the stupid PMP cert. We use an open source PM software (which is absolute garbage).

How big are the projects? 3 people or 300? The size and complexity of projects makes a huge difference as to if you need "real" project management, or just common sense "back of the envelope" kinds of things. PM can be a huge asset, or it can just get in the way and be a total pain.

I wouldn't just start plunking things into MS Project. Either do real PM or not. Otherwise you'll just get garbage in, garbage out.
 
Generally a hammer will suffice, if they still arent working hard enough you could try a 3 foot length of chain or a large wrench.
 
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