[TW style] The Aristocrats

C

Chaoz

Veteran XV
Improv your own version TW...

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A man walked into a talent agency and sat down to talk with one of their representatives. The rep. said, "So tell me a little about your act."

The man said, "It's a family act and what we do...well...It'd be better if we just did it for you."

The rep. agreed and the man brought in his wife, their two kids, and the family dog. The young girl took off her pants which revealed a diaper that was full of shit. She took off the diaper and put it infront of the dog who began to lap it up. Now with his daughter naked the dad bent her over and started giving it to her up the ass, all while the mom was sucking off the son. Once the dog was finished it walked over to the bent over daughter and jumped on her back. The dog then vomited all over her ass, soaking the dads penis in a mixture of dog food and kid shit. The dad pulled out and started letting his wife suck him off next. The son then began hitting his sister repeatedly with a belt, finally striking her in the face which caused her eye to bleed. As she laid on the ground the dog walked over and hiked up his leg and urinated on her face. The son and dad walked over and jacked off on the daughter's face at which point the mom turns the talent agent and says "SHAZAAM!"

The talent agent just stares at the for awhile and says, "Incredible, what do you call that?"

The daughter spits out the mixture of cum, dog piss, and blood and screams "The Aristocrats!"
 
A family walks into a talent agency. there's a husband, pregnant wife, and their 8 year old son, and 15 year old daughter oh and the family dog, a chihuahua. so anyway the husband goes, we have the most amazing act for you if you would give us just a minute of your time. the talent agent says ok, show me. so the family breaks out into a dance while the daughter is singing amazing grace. the daughter is an amazing singer with incredible range. this is when the father grabs his 15 year old daughters hair and shoves his cock down her throat. while the daughter is sucking on her father's dick the son then walks behind the sister, whom is still trying to sing amazing grace but all that you hear is a muffled hum and the occasional gasp and gag for air. the son grabs his sisters skirts and yanks it off and begins licking her asshole. While this is going on the pregnant mother drops on all fours and starts licking the son's ass. curious to join the family, the dog walks on over and starts fucking the mother from behind. It's at this point that the mother's water breaks and the dog slips and falls over and starts slurping it up. The mother starts to have contractions and goes into labor but keeps on licking her son's ass while he licks his sister ass while the sister continues to suck her father's cock. The dog regains it's footing and goes back to fucking the mother as the legs of the baby come out. While the baby is still in, the dog begins to fuck the infant, forcing it back into the mother. The mother starts pushing against the thrusting dog and ends up shitting all over the floor. the entire family slips and falls on the ground. they then begin skating around the room leaving shit stains all over the linoleum floor doing a figure 8 around the dog and mother. the mother pushes out the baby and it slides across the room on this fecal slipe and slide, only to be bungeed back towards it's mother by it's umbelical cord. But before the newborn can be shot back to it's mother, the daughter trips on the cord and lands ass up against the wall. Not wanting to injure the child, the son jumps over the baby and ends up landing cock first into his sister's ass while the dad jumps cock first into his son's ass. while they are busy the dog starts to chew on the umbelical cord while the mother breast feeds the shit covered conjoined twins.the dog then vomits up chunks of umbelical cord all over the baby and mother which causes the mother to projective vomit straight up into the air. Vomit rains all over the mother, daughter, father, son, newborns, and of course the dog.During this scene of raining expelled bodily rejections, everyone stands up and shouts "HAPPY ANIVERSARY CHALLENGER VICTIMS" then they all fall to the floor after making an explosion sound with their mouths.

There's an awkward silence for about 20 seconds
while the talent agent finishes upchucking his sushi
dinner into the nearest plant pot.

"Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with you
people?!!? What in the world possessed you to do
something like this?!! How do you expect us to market
this..this...live action..atrocity?!! What in hell do you
even call this?!?!!

The son, with his Father's dick still in his ass
grabs both sets of lips of the conjointed fetus and moves
them while saying "Teh Awistocwats!"

:worried:
 
issue96cn8jy.jpg


this girl is hot as fuck
 
the movie sucked.... btw in a TW version there would be a punch to the face, and jacket stolen and taken to mexico.

you all fail.
 
So, there is this talent agent talking on the phone. All of a sudden, his door bangs open and a feathered bola wearing pirate walks in. He says, “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to get fucked in the ass. But first, take a look at this…”

The cocksmoking faggot pirate Inigo motions at the door with his hand. In comes his wife in a wheelchair. She is trying to get through the door but her wheels keep banging against the door jam. Bump bump bump.

Inigo motions quickly with his hands again. Back behind his wife, grandpa pops a few Viagra. His dick rips through the front of his trousers. The geriatric old fart starts to beat his daughter with his telephone pole sized cock. She doesn’t budge. He pops a few more Viagra and then his dick explodes and blows her ass over elbows into the middle of the room.

Inigo waves violently at the door. In come his two children followed by the family cockapoo.

The kids and the dog are dressed up in pink tutus. Inigo grabs the dog and stretches it’s ass out until he can fit it over his head. The dog starts to howl and Inigo slams a kazoo in it’s mouth. It’s going “Wooo Wooo Wooo”

He grabs his 4 year old son and says “Behold! The hole in the throat where his voice box was before he got cancer and it had to be removed!” He points to the hole. The kid presses one of those vibrating voice things to his neck and buzzes out “Whaadamotherfuckeriddntit?”

Inigo hauls off and hits the kid so hard his head snaps back like JFK. The vibrating voice thing flies out of his hand and goes up the wifes pussy. The pussy starts talking “Whoyoucallingmotherfuckerbzztbzzztbzzt?”

Inigo shoves his dick down his 4 year olds mouth and sticks it out the throat hole. His dick is like a fucking anaconda. It goes through the hole and up the ass of his daughter who is sitting in the corner trying to hide. She is crying as he forces his dick up into her ass and lifts her into the air. Grandpa starts to play a calliope and Inigo says “Behold! The Carousel of life!”

Inigo produces a unicycle from his ass. He begins to ride the unicycle with his 4 year old boy skewered through his gaping cancer hole by his herpes infested cock which is holding his daughter in the air. She is riding his cock with her ass like a horse. She is going “neigh neigh neigh”. Inigo’s cock works it’s way out her mouth which shuts her the fuck up pronto.

Now the wife is starting to get off on the vibrating voice box that is stuck in her talking pussy. She is moaning and rubbing her clit. Her pussy is buzzing and going “bzzzztbzzztbzzzzt”. Grandpa looks at his daughter and starts rubbing the bloody nub where his exploded dick used to be.

The wife keeps rubbing her clit but the pussy is bitching at her. “Iamnotgoingtocumbzzztbzzztbzzzt” The wife starts up a chainsaw and shoves it up her snatch. Grandpa kicks the chainsaw until blood is flying everywhere. The kids are crying and the dog is going “WOOO WOOO WOOO” through the kazoo.

Inigo shouts “DO IT OLD MAN!” The grandpa bends over and stretches his asshole so wide open that you can see the old mans pacemaker. Inigo puts his fist up grandpas ass and lifts him into the air. The wife is still shoving the running the chainsaw up and down inside of her mutilated pussy and moaning. The floor is covered in blood and Inigo is trying to ride his unicycle though the mess.

Inigo starts to say the pledge of allegiance. He looses his balance and starts to tip over. His daughter's eyes are glassing over like she is dying. Inigo looks at her and her bowels let loose. Green shit comes cascading down his herpetic cock like fluid from a corpse. The dog blows out the kazoo which gets stuck in his boys ass. The dog comes off Inigos head and its ass shuts with a loud “POP”.

The dog runs over to his wife and rips her throat out. It squats over her and lays about a hundred pounds of soft-serve dog shit onto her bleeding body. Her hand is sticking up out of the pile of dog shit like a zombie. Grandpa tries to free himself from Inigo’s fist but Inigo slides through the dogshit and they all fall over. Inigo’s cock comes flying out of the mouth and ass of his daughter. It snaps back through the mouth and cancer fuck hole of his 4 year old boy. It flies back like a bungee cord and turns Inigo inside fucking out. All of his organs are on the outside of his body hanging like fucked up grapes draped with lard. His colon empties about 800 pounds of diarrhea into the room. Piss flies everywhere. He kicks his wife in the cunt.

The whole family is sliding around and drowning in shit and blood. The agent looks at the scene before him. He says into the phone ‘Hold on a second” He puts the phone down and whips his dick out. He starts rubbing one out and shoots jizz all over the bloody fuck pile that is in the center of his office.

When he is done, he empties a can of gasoline on the pile and torches it up. He calls his secretary in and tells her to clean the shit up. But first, he gives her one up the ass and then puts a lit cigar up her sphincter for a few minutes. He felches out the shit flavored Dominican smoked yogurt from her ass and then goes back to the phone.

The man on the phone said “Jesus buttfucking christ! What in the hell was that all about!!!!”

Just then, Inigos anaconda dick rose from the smoldering pile of shit, piss, cum and charred flesh. It snaked under the table and skewered the agent up the ass and through his mouth. The bloody cock took the phone and said –

“The Aristocrats, motherfucker, the Aristocrats.”

_
 
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