STAR WARS TRIVIA

Felonius

Veteran XV
*Theme song plays*

Fuck. How many black people are even in Star Wars again?

You've got one guy who is forced to betray his white scoundrel pal. Fuck I can't recall his name off hand but you know who I'm talking about.

Then there's SAMMY L JACKSON layin some righteous shit down, but that shriveled up old green puppet shithead keeps overriding what he has to say.
 
Fucking snakes on the plane man.

I'm trying to get all these snakes off this motherfucking plane.

These crackas are too busy fucking each other in the bathroom.
 
2


3 if you count chewbacca. but that view is subjective. so... 2, as I said.
 
It's like. We've got snakes on an airplane.

This is a problem of the utmost importance to resolve.

But we're fucking each other in the bathroom and freaking out pushing each other.

People.

This is your captain speaking. JOHN T RILEY PICARD OF THE USS BUTTPLUG

Please remove the snakes from the Enterprise.

Make it so #1.
 
Fuck I forgot that hairy mumbling BEAST who's extremely fucking strong and can toss the rest of the goddamn cast of the entire fucking SIX PART SERIES around.

But he actually prefers just to hang out on his home planet and dance and shit.

But they enlist his help, so whatever.

Good point.
 
JamesEarlJones_9891.jpg
 
Luke Skywalker is an INFP under the myers-briggs personality inventory, like me.

Also, I love the sub-text to these movies. Everything has hidden meanings.

The story is really a spiritual journey. Luke's mother killed herself to escape her abusive serial killer dad, and Luke's childhood involved killing womp rats. After meeting a drug dealer on the bus, he starts to hear voices calling him a "user fuck".

In the first movie Luke OD's and thinks he is dying when he hallucinates a bunch of devils like those things from Ghost. This triggers a psychotic breakdown, and he burns his foster parents in their house but talks his way around the police.

During psychotic episode five, his hallucinations and dreams centre around the shame and guilt from the childhood sexual abuse he suffered, represented by a shrunken green old man called Yoda (Yo Da Child, as opposed to Yo Da Man, which is Luke).

For example, Luke shows Yoda a sausage and a torch, Yoda giggles hysterically and moans "No, No," over and over. When Luke accuses the place of being a "Slimy Mud-hole," Yoda announces proudly "My home this is!". Luke's sick tendancies and scrambled thought processes are shown by Yoda's inability to use normal english: Yoda invites Luck in with promises of "help you, I will," and "help you find him... but first... we... eat..."

Yoda gives Luke a "Roophie" and while asleep Luke dreams of being abused in his bedroom, represented as entering a dark cave.

Duing the abuse Luke's father would wear a black latex costume and would breath very heavily. In the cave, Luke kills his father and sees his own face, exposing his fear that he will go on to molest children.

Luke's distorted sexuality leads him to begin a sexual relationship with his sister, Laia. He is devastated when she refuses him, and he deals with the breakup by seeing a gay black prostitute in a brothel called "Up in the Clouds".

Luke calls his psychiatrist "Han Solo," (he hate that), which is actually a word play on the words "Solo Hand", as Luke is also addicted to masturbation.

The third movie is set in a psychiatric ward where Luke has sexually symbolic dreams about a giant slug, people with phallic shaped apendagges, cutting the head off a monster (representing his botched cirmcumscision) and being eaten by a snake. Luke escapes into a forest and kills his father and the evil catholic priest that corrupted him.

Near the end, Luke then meets his sister at a rave. They demonstrate they have overcome their past and become friends when Laia admits she is a stripper and a "big dyke" and Luke says he is now into furries.

Also, the very last scene shows Luke asking his doctor "Do you think it's better to live a monster, or die a man?" before walking towards a lighthouse where they do lobotomies, and a spinning-top on a table. But I didn't think there was much in that.
 
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