Rain Jacket, I need one

There's always going to be a trade off on whether you want your under layer or your outer layer to get wet. Anything that is marketed as breathable will probably never be as waterproof as you want. The truly waterproof stuff traps in sweat and can be much worse if you make the mistake of wearing cotton inside.

The alternative is something like Buffalo Systems where they claim you will get wet, but won't give a damn cause you'll still be warm (and will dry out really fast). I've been considering getting their stuff for a month now to see if it really works, but can't quite get my head around the unorthodox thinking yet.

Their system's not perfect either though. Apparently, you can't wear anything underneath if you want the wicking to work well, so you'd have to get into the habit of carrying a separate shirt for the times when it is not raining or when it starts getting too warm. All the negative reviews say their stuff is limited in use as well, because it's too hot for anything but winter, but I think their lightweight line might work for that.

Some reviews and user stories:
RoadCyclingUK Reviews
Needle Sports Review
 
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Gore-Tex is far from shit. It's shitty users who don't take care of their gear and then wonder why it's soaking through. Gore-Tex is not some magical material made from Unicorn laughs and rainbows. It needs to be taken care of properly. If you don't, it loses it's ability to properly repel water and breathe out vapor. Not properly cleaning/drying Gore-Tex and calling it shit is like not putting oil in your car and then saying it's shit when the engine seizes.
 
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