I'm afraid 2 smoke cause I'm afraid I will freak the fuck out
This is almost certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy. It'll never be relaxing and fun if you are afraid of it. Herb will amplify what you expect to feel, and if that's fear then you are doomed to a poor experience. If you expect relaxed and fun you will get it.
Of course that is only set, and equal discussion should be given to setting. However I think setting is easier for most to manage. You just need to find somewhere where you feel safe. Having a friend or two you trust with you there will help as well.
I know that doesn't make it all better, but it is almost always the correct answer. Unless you actually have a latent psychosis or ADD or something. In that case, pot might not be a good idea. But for the vast majority it's your head getting under your skin. Good luck.
ps: I'm really ripped...
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