Up at 2am, I have to wake up at 6am.
You'd think my roommate would have some common courtesy and SHUT THE FUCK UP once midnight hits... but no. I can't get to sleep because my fucking roommate is STILL UP with the TV blaring and his manitee of a "wife" MOANING. You know what that fucking means.
Oh ho ho, but let me explain things.
I live in a 3 bedroom apartment, with my brother (grad student) and a friend we've known for a few years (the FUCKING ROOMMATE aka MICK aka Mickey, yes he's an irishman). 8 months ago during summer break my roommate Mick finds a girl online and starts chatting it up with her, they get along great and Mick decides he wants her to come down. So.... he ask us:
"Hey, do you guys want to go to New Hampshire for a week?"
Sure, out of the boring state of Ohio for a few days, what could possibly go wrong.
"I'm meeting up with a girl I met online, she's 20 and wants to go to Ohio University in the Fall. Is it alright if she stays with us until the dorms open up?"
Sure, he has appeared to be a competent roommate up to this period. What could possibly go wrong? So we head up to New Hampshire to enjoy the weekend, and meet up with this girl he met online.
Fuck.
We pull into the driveway and low and behold this COW is standing in the middle of the road. My roommates first words were "WHHHOOOOOAAAA" and slams on the breaks. By COW I mean FUCKING FAT. Our roommate previous to this occassion has always been known for creeds such as "No Fat Chicks", so this came as a surprise for my brother and I.
So over the next few days we enjoy the surrounding area and... go out to eat with Mick's new "friend". She's TOTALLY anti-social and DOESN'T like eating in front of other people, my roommate has to almost force her to eat anything.
Arrrghghhghh.
Anyway, after we get back to Ohio, a few weeks pass... it's the middle of August. She hasn't enrolled for Fall Quarter at the University... somethings up. Apparantly she didn't intend to enroll at OU to begin with, and is "shacking up" with my roommate. The landlord finally finds out about this (we're only supposed to have "guests" for 3-5 days MAX) and the solution is to bump up our rent. Thanks a lot mick.
October comes around and nothing happens.... no job... no plans of going to OU... no CAR to drive. Absolutely nothing. I start hearing stories from my brother about shit she's been doing while Mick was at work (emo shit, calling him at work and complaining, slicing her wrists, getting drunk on the premium stuff in my brother's alchohol cabinet). Note: At this point, she hasn't said 4 sentences to myself or my brother. She's been living in Mick's Room this whole time.
November.... My brother and I find out from OTHER SOURCES that my roommate went to the Judge's office in town and OFFICIALLY MARRIED this lathargic waste of life (sometime in September). Oh... and did I mention that he got her pregnant. Also, he ends up getting FIRED from his job (not showing up on time, having hostile attitudes toward the other workers. He worked as tech support for a local ISP). So now he's unemployed, married, kid on the way because abortion "isn't an option".
We also find out that she was actually 18 when he brought her down here. Turned 19 in December.
Fast forward to January.
STILL NO FUCKING JOB. FAT BITCH IN HIS ROOM. He sits in his room all day watching TV, playing games on his computer, feeding fast food/pizza/junk food to the COW, and apparantly "looking for 6 jobs a day!" The odds would be in his favor at this point...
He doesn't have a job because he's "looking for something to support the two of them". This is his excuse. So this rules out MANY of the jobs around town at restaurants/stores. His real reason is his EGO can't take working at these places. He can't get any other job because his references will all say he's an idiot.
He decides to come up with this grand scheme to pay off all his bills and take care of the two of them. He gets a school loan. He falsely files for a school loan (actually enrolling at an online university, then dropping out), with his parents co-signing. At this point he has NO WAY to pay this off. Wow... what the fuck.
SO, present day.
He and his fat bitch are still in that room... I can't get to sleep most nights because they're either fucking, arguing, or watching TV and chatting/laughing up a storm (did I mention her voice makes me cringe like nails on a chalkboard?). She still hasn't said 4 sentences (or even a sentence) to myself or my brother.
She sits in that room all day, getting fatter, and fatter (Mick as well). Her kid is due in 3 months. Our lease doesn't end until August 31. I am not staying in this house with these fucks and their retarded baby.
Fuck... I needed to vent.
This has lead to some odd jokes that some people might not get.
"How do you make a cow moo? Stick an irishman in her."
Cliffnotes:
-Roommate goes up to New Hampshire
-Roommate brings back a COW under false pretences
-COW stays in roommates room for 8 months (and counting) and is pregnant
-Roommate has no job and is living off a student loan
-Roommate keeps ungodly hours and KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT FUCKING THE COW. FUCK.
I'm calling the landlord in the morning to see if my brother and I can get out of this god damn lease. FUCK.
3am, they probably have stoped copulating at this point... time to finally get some sleep
And no, I'm probably not going to post any pics/online info as you fuckers will cause more drama for me than I want. Of course this all depends on how much they irritate me...
Oh yeah...
You'd think my roommate would have some common courtesy and SHUT THE FUCK UP once midnight hits... but no. I can't get to sleep because my fucking roommate is STILL UP with the TV blaring and his manitee of a "wife" MOANING. You know what that fucking means.
Oh ho ho, but let me explain things.
I live in a 3 bedroom apartment, with my brother (grad student) and a friend we've known for a few years (the FUCKING ROOMMATE aka MICK aka Mickey, yes he's an irishman). 8 months ago during summer break my roommate Mick finds a girl online and starts chatting it up with her, they get along great and Mick decides he wants her to come down. So.... he ask us:
"Hey, do you guys want to go to New Hampshire for a week?"
Sure, out of the boring state of Ohio for a few days, what could possibly go wrong.
"I'm meeting up with a girl I met online, she's 20 and wants to go to Ohio University in the Fall. Is it alright if she stays with us until the dorms open up?"
Sure, he has appeared to be a competent roommate up to this period. What could possibly go wrong? So we head up to New Hampshire to enjoy the weekend, and meet up with this girl he met online.
Fuck.
We pull into the driveway and low and behold this COW is standing in the middle of the road. My roommates first words were "WHHHOOOOOAAAA" and slams on the breaks. By COW I mean FUCKING FAT. Our roommate previous to this occassion has always been known for creeds such as "No Fat Chicks", so this came as a surprise for my brother and I.
So over the next few days we enjoy the surrounding area and... go out to eat with Mick's new "friend". She's TOTALLY anti-social and DOESN'T like eating in front of other people, my roommate has to almost force her to eat anything.
Arrrghghhghh.
Anyway, after we get back to Ohio, a few weeks pass... it's the middle of August. She hasn't enrolled for Fall Quarter at the University... somethings up. Apparantly she didn't intend to enroll at OU to begin with, and is "shacking up" with my roommate. The landlord finally finds out about this (we're only supposed to have "guests" for 3-5 days MAX) and the solution is to bump up our rent. Thanks a lot mick.
October comes around and nothing happens.... no job... no plans of going to OU... no CAR to drive. Absolutely nothing. I start hearing stories from my brother about shit she's been doing while Mick was at work (emo shit, calling him at work and complaining, slicing her wrists, getting drunk on the premium stuff in my brother's alchohol cabinet). Note: At this point, she hasn't said 4 sentences to myself or my brother. She's been living in Mick's Room this whole time.
November.... My brother and I find out from OTHER SOURCES that my roommate went to the Judge's office in town and OFFICIALLY MARRIED this lathargic waste of life (sometime in September). Oh... and did I mention that he got her pregnant. Also, he ends up getting FIRED from his job (not showing up on time, having hostile attitudes toward the other workers. He worked as tech support for a local ISP). So now he's unemployed, married, kid on the way because abortion "isn't an option".
We also find out that she was actually 18 when he brought her down here. Turned 19 in December.
Fast forward to January.
STILL NO FUCKING JOB. FAT BITCH IN HIS ROOM. He sits in his room all day watching TV, playing games on his computer, feeding fast food/pizza/junk food to the COW, and apparantly "looking for 6 jobs a day!" The odds would be in his favor at this point...
He doesn't have a job because he's "looking for something to support the two of them". This is his excuse. So this rules out MANY of the jobs around town at restaurants/stores. His real reason is his EGO can't take working at these places. He can't get any other job because his references will all say he's an idiot.
He decides to come up with this grand scheme to pay off all his bills and take care of the two of them. He gets a school loan. He falsely files for a school loan (actually enrolling at an online university, then dropping out), with his parents co-signing. At this point he has NO WAY to pay this off. Wow... what the fuck.
SO, present day.
He and his fat bitch are still in that room... I can't get to sleep most nights because they're either fucking, arguing, or watching TV and chatting/laughing up a storm (did I mention her voice makes me cringe like nails on a chalkboard?). She still hasn't said 4 sentences (or even a sentence) to myself or my brother.
She sits in that room all day, getting fatter, and fatter (Mick as well). Her kid is due in 3 months. Our lease doesn't end until August 31. I am not staying in this house with these fucks and their retarded baby.
Fuck... I needed to vent.
This has lead to some odd jokes that some people might not get.
"How do you make a cow moo? Stick an irishman in her."
Cliffnotes:
-Roommate goes up to New Hampshire
-Roommate brings back a COW under false pretences
-COW stays in roommates room for 8 months (and counting) and is pregnant
-Roommate has no job and is living off a student loan
-Roommate keeps ungodly hours and KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT FUCKING THE COW. FUCK.
I'm calling the landlord in the morning to see if my brother and I can get out of this god damn lease. FUCK.
3am, they probably have stoped copulating at this point... time to finally get some sleep
And no, I'm probably not going to post any pics/online info as you fuckers will cause more drama for me than I want. Of course this all depends on how much they irritate me...
Oh yeah...
