El Mariachi
Veteran XV
So there's this one crazy bum that's always outside at our smoking area. Usually just sitting around, talking to himself, laughing to himself. Or some such nonsense. Pretty sure he sticks around to fish out all the unused portions of cigarette butts or what have you.
I'm just standing there, outside, minding my own fucking business- checking my e-mail and he straight up walks in front of me. Stands there for a few seconds...
BUMB: "Excuse me"
ME: (waits a few seconds, look up from phone, assuming he's going to ask for a light) "yea?"
BUMB: "Excuse me, you're standing in my spot"
ME: (incredulous) "Are you fucking kidding me?"
BUMB: "You're in my spot"
ME: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
ME: "What fucking bullshit is that? Am I in your fucking spot? This isn't your fucking spot. I don't see shit around here that says this is your fucking spot"
BUMB looks at me for a second "But this is my spot"
ME: "Why does this have to be your spot? Why can't I just fucking stand here and smoke my fucking cigarette without this bullshit?"
BUMB looks at me again, while I'm thinking that this schizo motherfucker might shank me or some bullshit, and how the fuck am I gonna explain to my boss why I've got a stab wound...he walks a few feet away and sits down. Now, I'm not the type of person who is gonna do piddly bullshit to piss people off, I notice that I'm accidentally flicking my ashes at him. Oops.
So while I'm preparing for another showdown with him for this encroachment on his property, he gets up and walks away. Guess I'll have to wait another day to get my ass stabbed.
Anyone else have any stupid bum stories?
I'm just standing there, outside, minding my own fucking business- checking my e-mail and he straight up walks in front of me. Stands there for a few seconds...
BUMB: "Excuse me"
ME: (waits a few seconds, look up from phone, assuming he's going to ask for a light) "yea?"
BUMB: "Excuse me, you're standing in my spot"
ME: (incredulous) "Are you fucking kidding me?"
BUMB: "You're in my spot"
ME: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
ME: "What fucking bullshit is that? Am I in your fucking spot? This isn't your fucking spot. I don't see shit around here that says this is your fucking spot"
BUMB looks at me for a second "But this is my spot"
ME: "Why does this have to be your spot? Why can't I just fucking stand here and smoke my fucking cigarette without this bullshit?"
BUMB looks at me again, while I'm thinking that this schizo motherfucker might shank me or some bullshit, and how the fuck am I gonna explain to my boss why I've got a stab wound...he walks a few feet away and sits down. Now, I'm not the type of person who is gonna do piddly bullshit to piss people off, I notice that I'm accidentally flicking my ashes at him. Oops.
So while I'm preparing for another showdown with him for this encroachment on his property, he gets up and walks away. Guess I'll have to wait another day to get my ass stabbed.
Anyone else have any stupid bum stories?