quiet storm
Veteran X
My brother is a counselor at a big university. Last Friday, he reaches in his pocket for his blackberry while at work right after lunch break. He quotes, “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuck!!!!”
Obviously, he 'misplaced' his blackberry. Unfortunately, he knew right where he left it, on the TP dispenser in the bathroom a floor up. He runs upstairs, phone is MIA. You’re probably wondering the same thing I was. What the fuck are you doing with the blackberry out while doin the damn thing? he explains how the 3rd floor bathroom is nice and quiet, away from all the 2nd floor traffic. He peacefully checks his e-mail and browses the internet, it helps take the edge off a little bit. I call him a diva. He’s like ya I know. "Now what am I supposed to do," he asks. "I have to go around asking for help because I left my blackberry upstairs in the bathroom. People are going to judge you know. "
Step one, he calls the phone. Phone rings, no one picks up. Not a good sign. Brother is thinking to himself, who might have the phone? On the 3rd floor are mostly IT staff. If someone there took it and didn’t pick up the phone, it’s probably gone because IT people love cobbling with blackberrys. He swallows his pride, goes up, talks to the receptionist on the 3rd floor and kindly asks to send out a plea for the phone. He tells her to tell everyone "some idiot left his phone in the bathroom and would appreciate it back." She sends out the e-mail.
Brother keeps calling the phone, there was about 15% power left he remembered. He gets on his computer to check his e-mail.. messages he knows FOR SURE he never read are turning up having been read already. what a piece of shit! So of course he sends his phone an e-mail. Something like bla, bla I’m the owner please give me back my phone, I really need it. No response, no more e-mails are read. Brother turns off the e-mail synch. The phone starts going straight to voice mail when he calls it.
There’s a young girl hanging out at the office, my brother says “not the sharpest tool in the box, but is really sweet”. Lets call her keysha. Brother calls the phone again and it rings! Its powered again. Keysha is like, hey whats your number. She sends the phone a text, “yo, whats up?”. Brother is stupefied. 30 seconds later she looks at my brother, huge eyes. her phone vibrated. "Its your phone!" She says. Someone texted back, “not much whats goin on?” brother immediately eliminates IT geek as suspect.
Keysha texts back “this is a friend of the owner, can you return the phone please?” The person texts back, “naw I’m out of town until Tuesday, so maybe after that.” No more texts are responded to by the thief. I speculate a black person is behind it.
Brother gets pretty discouraged, thinks phone is gone forever. He calls sprint. He is trying to scheme with the service lady. They decide not to turn off service so they can spy on the call log. Brother is like, “do you have any other tricks up your sleeve? I have no ideas left and this isn’t looking good”. The lady says, "you don’t happen to have Family GPS do you?" He sighs. Nope.
"You can try it for 30 days if you’d like". He is like whoa? "Don’t you need the phone to activate it?" She says no. Brother is hesitant, closes his eyes and imagines he’s the thief. What would I do if all of a sudden I had a message appear. WELCOME TO SPRINT FAMILY GPS LOCATOR! Phone is probably gone. Fuck it. They turn it on. He goes to his computer, and activates. The phone is... ON CAMPUS.
Keysha and my brother are both going apeshit. They can see the phone on a map, but the buildings are waaay too dense to make anything out. They check back in 30 minutes. The phone is now at a bar across the street from campus. They go to bar. Keysha calls the phone, nothing obvious. She calls again, brother catches her eye and she is staring him down real apparent that she saw the phone, she motions. Brother goes up to a table full of frat guys, and politely asks the guy if he’s seen his phone he lost today. He pulls his phone out but it was AT&T. same exact phone, but not his. They go back to the office to recollect.
The blackberry was already off campus, they must have just missed it! Brother goes home. He turns the GPS family locator on his wife’s blackberry because he has no idea how accurate it is or how it really works. The map appears on his computer, phone he can see is in the NW corner in the bedroom of his house. Titties.
Brother calls the cops and at first they don’t want to hear about his dumb blackberry he left in the john at work. He finally gets two young officers to listen. He sends them a screen shot of his computer with the residence and his phone. The police tell him to come to the station. They rehash the story again, and my brother is like, don’t you guys have a laptop in your squad car? Can’t you just use the program and go get the phone? Silence insues. One of the cops pulls out his cell phone and CALLS the blackberry. “hello, this is the city police. Can you hel..” Click. Cop claims it was a young asian male.
Sir, I think we might be able to help. Why don’t you go back to your home and give us a phone to call in case we find anything. Brother races back home to command central. Opens up the GPS family locator and pulls up the blip on the map again. 10 minutes later, the phone starts to move out into the parking lot, a minute after that the house phone rings, and its his phone. Titties! Brother goes down and picks up the blackberry.
I’m like what?! How come they had the guy and didn’t bust him! How do you not go and smash the fuck out of this fucking thief, you know where he lives!? The cops explained how they believed him when he was going to return the phone, and showed the police the bogus text he sent explaining how they would “return” it on Tuesday. i’m prying on him to get vengeance. He explains how not only was the leather case gone, but it was also damaged, probably when they threw it in the parking lot, and they also did a factory reset on it erasing all contact information. I got him riled up about it. He is going to the police again to get a new phone and a restraining order, since this guy probably was not too happy how it all went down, and knows where my brother works. No updates on that yet =/
CLIFFS:
-Brother leaves blackberry in the stall while on break at work.
-Blackberry is gone, phone isn’t responding until girl texts his phone “whats up”
-Guy says too bad he’s out of town, also reads e-mails on the blackberry.
-Sprint customer service hooks up phone with GPS trial
-Phone is across the street at a bar. They go track it down but were too late. Phone is off campus when they get back.
-GPS locator shows exactly what apartment and where the phone is located. He calls the cops.
-Cops hook up GPS locator in squad car, and get the phone back. Let the thief off the hook, for now.
Obviously, he 'misplaced' his blackberry. Unfortunately, he knew right where he left it, on the TP dispenser in the bathroom a floor up. He runs upstairs, phone is MIA. You’re probably wondering the same thing I was. What the fuck are you doing with the blackberry out while doin the damn thing? he explains how the 3rd floor bathroom is nice and quiet, away from all the 2nd floor traffic. He peacefully checks his e-mail and browses the internet, it helps take the edge off a little bit. I call him a diva. He’s like ya I know. "Now what am I supposed to do," he asks. "I have to go around asking for help because I left my blackberry upstairs in the bathroom. People are going to judge you know. "
Step one, he calls the phone. Phone rings, no one picks up. Not a good sign. Brother is thinking to himself, who might have the phone? On the 3rd floor are mostly IT staff. If someone there took it and didn’t pick up the phone, it’s probably gone because IT people love cobbling with blackberrys. He swallows his pride, goes up, talks to the receptionist on the 3rd floor and kindly asks to send out a plea for the phone. He tells her to tell everyone "some idiot left his phone in the bathroom and would appreciate it back." She sends out the e-mail.
Brother keeps calling the phone, there was about 15% power left he remembered. He gets on his computer to check his e-mail.. messages he knows FOR SURE he never read are turning up having been read already. what a piece of shit! So of course he sends his phone an e-mail. Something like bla, bla I’m the owner please give me back my phone, I really need it. No response, no more e-mails are read. Brother turns off the e-mail synch. The phone starts going straight to voice mail when he calls it.
There’s a young girl hanging out at the office, my brother says “not the sharpest tool in the box, but is really sweet”. Lets call her keysha. Brother calls the phone again and it rings! Its powered again. Keysha is like, hey whats your number. She sends the phone a text, “yo, whats up?”. Brother is stupefied. 30 seconds later she looks at my brother, huge eyes. her phone vibrated. "Its your phone!" She says. Someone texted back, “not much whats goin on?” brother immediately eliminates IT geek as suspect.
Keysha texts back “this is a friend of the owner, can you return the phone please?” The person texts back, “naw I’m out of town until Tuesday, so maybe after that.” No more texts are responded to by the thief. I speculate a black person is behind it.
Brother gets pretty discouraged, thinks phone is gone forever. He calls sprint. He is trying to scheme with the service lady. They decide not to turn off service so they can spy on the call log. Brother is like, “do you have any other tricks up your sleeve? I have no ideas left and this isn’t looking good”. The lady says, "you don’t happen to have Family GPS do you?" He sighs. Nope.
"You can try it for 30 days if you’d like". He is like whoa? "Don’t you need the phone to activate it?" She says no. Brother is hesitant, closes his eyes and imagines he’s the thief. What would I do if all of a sudden I had a message appear. WELCOME TO SPRINT FAMILY GPS LOCATOR! Phone is probably gone. Fuck it. They turn it on. He goes to his computer, and activates. The phone is... ON CAMPUS.
Keysha and my brother are both going apeshit. They can see the phone on a map, but the buildings are waaay too dense to make anything out. They check back in 30 minutes. The phone is now at a bar across the street from campus. They go to bar. Keysha calls the phone, nothing obvious. She calls again, brother catches her eye and she is staring him down real apparent that she saw the phone, she motions. Brother goes up to a table full of frat guys, and politely asks the guy if he’s seen his phone he lost today. He pulls his phone out but it was AT&T. same exact phone, but not his. They go back to the office to recollect.
The blackberry was already off campus, they must have just missed it! Brother goes home. He turns the GPS family locator on his wife’s blackberry because he has no idea how accurate it is or how it really works. The map appears on his computer, phone he can see is in the NW corner in the bedroom of his house. Titties.
Brother calls the cops and at first they don’t want to hear about his dumb blackberry he left in the john at work. He finally gets two young officers to listen. He sends them a screen shot of his computer with the residence and his phone. The police tell him to come to the station. They rehash the story again, and my brother is like, don’t you guys have a laptop in your squad car? Can’t you just use the program and go get the phone? Silence insues. One of the cops pulls out his cell phone and CALLS the blackberry. “hello, this is the city police. Can you hel..” Click. Cop claims it was a young asian male.
Sir, I think we might be able to help. Why don’t you go back to your home and give us a phone to call in case we find anything. Brother races back home to command central. Opens up the GPS family locator and pulls up the blip on the map again. 10 minutes later, the phone starts to move out into the parking lot, a minute after that the house phone rings, and its his phone. Titties! Brother goes down and picks up the blackberry.
I’m like what?! How come they had the guy and didn’t bust him! How do you not go and smash the fuck out of this fucking thief, you know where he lives!? The cops explained how they believed him when he was going to return the phone, and showed the police the bogus text he sent explaining how they would “return” it on Tuesday. i’m prying on him to get vengeance. He explains how not only was the leather case gone, but it was also damaged, probably when they threw it in the parking lot, and they also did a factory reset on it erasing all contact information. I got him riled up about it. He is going to the police again to get a new phone and a restraining order, since this guy probably was not too happy how it all went down, and knows where my brother works. No updates on that yet =/
CLIFFS:
-Brother leaves blackberry in the stall while on break at work.
-Blackberry is gone, phone isn’t responding until girl texts his phone “whats up”
-Guy says too bad he’s out of town, also reads e-mails on the blackberry.
-Sprint customer service hooks up phone with GPS trial
-Phone is across the street at a bar. They go track it down but were too late. Phone is off campus when they get back.
-GPS locator shows exactly what apartment and where the phone is located. He calls the cops.
-Cops hook up GPS locator in squad car, and get the phone back. Let the thief off the hook, for now.
