more here - http://www.ruthlessrhymes.com/little_willie_poems/little_willie_poems/
First one is my favorite
Willie, with a thirst for gore,
nailed his sister to the door.
His mother said, with humor quaint,
"Willie, dear, don't scratch the paint!"
-------------
Down the family wishing well
Willie pushed his sister Nell.
She's there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we have to buy a filter.
-------------
Willie saw some dynamite.
Couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity seldom pays.
It rained Willie seven days.
-------------
Little Willie from the mirror licked the mercury off,
thinking in his childish error it would cure whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
"T'was a chilly day for Willie when the mercury went down."
-------------
Willie cut off his sister's head
and left it lying hairless.
"Really, Willie," said his mother,
"you sure are getting careless."
-------------
The ice upon our pond's so thin
That poor Mamma has fallen in!
We cannot reach her from the shore
Until the surface freezes more.
Ah me, my heart grows weary waiting --
Besides, I want to have some skating.
-------------
When Grandmama fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.
-------------
Little Willie mean as hell,
Threw his sister in the well!
Said his mother when drawing water,
"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
------------
Little Willie with a shout,
Gouged the baby's eyeballs out;
Stamped on them to make them pop.
Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"
------------
Willie bashed open baby's head
to see if brains are gray or red.
What a naughty boy is he
He shall have no jam for tea.
------------
First one is my favorite
Willie, with a thirst for gore,
nailed his sister to the door.
His mother said, with humor quaint,
"Willie, dear, don't scratch the paint!"
-------------
Down the family wishing well
Willie pushed his sister Nell.
She's there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we have to buy a filter.
-------------
Willie saw some dynamite.
Couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity seldom pays.
It rained Willie seven days.
-------------
Little Willie from the mirror licked the mercury off,
thinking in his childish error it would cure whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
"T'was a chilly day for Willie when the mercury went down."
-------------
Willie cut off his sister's head
and left it lying hairless.
"Really, Willie," said his mother,
"you sure are getting careless."
-------------
The ice upon our pond's so thin
That poor Mamma has fallen in!
We cannot reach her from the shore
Until the surface freezes more.
Ah me, my heart grows weary waiting --
Besides, I want to have some skating.
-------------
When Grandmama fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.
-------------
Little Willie mean as hell,
Threw his sister in the well!
Said his mother when drawing water,
"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
------------
Little Willie with a shout,
Gouged the baby's eyeballs out;
Stamped on them to make them pop.
Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"
------------
Willie bashed open baby's head
to see if brains are gray or red.
What a naughty boy is he
He shall have no jam for tea.
------------
when i saw this tucked nicely in with poems from dickinson and frost.