Best way to learn Mandarin

TeckMan

Veteran XV
Hi I want to learn Mandarin so I can escape evil police state america. ATM I have a long commute so some kind of audio program would be nice. I also saw a listing for a Mandarin tutor on craigslist. I can get a copy of Rosetta stone fairly easily as well.

Which is best / other suggestions?

Thanks.
 
move to China or Taiwan or mary a chinese girl

attend a chinese school that meets on weekends with a bunch of 5 year old chinese kids
 
become a lathe operator and get a job where you can become a foreman for a chinese shop for 30 dollars an hour all expenses paid. pm togo for details
 
I found some sage advice on the subject:

This is how you communicate in China: English

or piss off, motherf*cker

No I am certainly looking forward to going to China the job starts on Thursday, be moving books into the office, setting up smartphone workstation etc.

'tell chinese man I don't like him'

these are the kind of statements that will need to be understood in mandarin. I have no idea if the newer CNC's have mandarin installed or english. Actually I'll put my money on english since I'm getting paid 10x these monkeys (not in reality, but accounting for travel expenses) it'll be to solve machine problems.

not that I hate china men at all and want them to suffer, but english is a language that obviously makes people 10 times as much money in the world.
 
I wrote out a reason why learning Mandarin is stupid. I was looking in to Mandarin as well, a while back, but decided to look further in to what it takes to learn Chinese, and it's just not worth it.

Unless your profession depends on Mandarin, you're better off learning a Romance language or whatever.

Why Chinese Is So Damn Hard

Everyone has heard that Chinese is hard because of the huge number of characters one has to learn, and this is absolutely true. There are a lot of popular books and articles that downplay this difficulty, saying things like "Despite the fact that Chinese has [10,000, 25,000, 50,000, take your pick] separate characters you really only need 2,000 or so to read a newspaper". Poppycock. I couldn't comfortably read a newspaper when I had 2,000 characters under my belt. I often had to look up several characters per line, and even after that I had trouble pulling the meaning out of the article. (I take it as a given that what is meant by "read" in this context is "read and basically comprehend the text without having to look up dozens of characters"; otherwise the claim is rather empty.)

This fairy tale is promulgated because of the fact that, when you look at the character frequencies, over 95% of the characters in any newspaper are easily among the first 2,000 most common ones.4 But what such accounts don't tell you is that there will still be plenty of unfamiliar words made up of those familiar characters. (To illustrate this problem, note that in English, knowing the words "up" and "tight" doesn't mean you know the word "uptight".) Plus, as anyone who has studied any language knows, you can often be familiar with every single word in a text and still not be able to grasp the meaning.

The other day one of my fellow graduate students, someone who has been studying Chinese for ten years or more, said to me "My research is really hampered by the fact that I still just can't read Chinese. It takes me hours to get through two or three pages, and I can't skim to save my life."
 
Ok rosetta sounds good. My problem with it is I don't trust its automated pronunciation checker so I will maybe get once a week sessions with the tutor.

I know I will never be able to read it but I can get by with pinyin and I really just need basic conversational.
 
you arent going to learn mandarin without immersing yourself (aka live in china for a few months)

but if you want an introduction to it, take some courses at a community college.
 
add these to your diet

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