I recently joined a gym at a college nearby my house. I workout on my lunch break at my place of employment, but it�s cutting season and I�ll be doing cardio on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. I could have ran at the track nearby my apartment, but I would be missing out on all the hot college CARDIO BUNNIES! I knew I would be able to score with em, but it didn�t even take me an hour!
So I head into the gym, wearing a PUMA track suit. First I check out the weights section. Typical. Bunch of shaggy haired Ashley Kutcher look alikes doing some chest and bi�s, hoping to get that beach body for Cancun. Pathetic. One guy got a SPOT for benching 135x1. Amazing. I was going to head over and load up 315 and rep it for 12, but I had bigger fish to fry.
On to the cardio area. There�s 16 treadmills. About 10 were occupied; 7 by HOT college girls, 2 by mediocre girls, and 1 fatty. Oh yeah, and like 3 fat guys. I do some stretching in front of the machines before removing my tearaway pants and jacket. Underneath is a pair of green shorts and a beater. I notice the ladies eyes shifting towards me as I pile on a treadmill. I put on my IPOD, but do not listen to music. (This is a trick of mine; whenever I work out I put my IPOD on because I don�t like to be bothered, but I never play music � I like to listen people compliment me when they don�t think I can hear them). �Look at the veins in his arms!� and �Check out those legs�damn!� were two of the better comments. I ran for 30 minutes and got off, walked to the front of the treadmills and did some stretching. Then I made my move. Lifting up my beater to wipe the sweat off my face, I gave the ladies a shot of the goods. I heard one girl even say �Vicki, Look! LOOK at that!�. Then I hear a loud BOOM. One girl had fallen OFF her treadmill (whether it was because of seeing my body or not I�m unsure, but I�m willing to bet that was the cause). She hit her face on the belt and had a bloody nose. I got the f**K out of there.
I was heading back to my car, satisfied that I had planted the seed for future hookups when I hear some footsteps behind me. �Um�sir� I turn around and see a sexy 5�5� blonde with some nice ta-tas.
Me: Yes?
Hot girl: I saw your body in there, and umm� I was wondering if I could get some advice? I�m headed to South Padre Island for Spring Break and I really want to look good
Me: Step into my office baby, and we�ll see what we can do.
<I unlock the doors to my BMW and she climbs in>
Hot girl: Wow, this is a really nice car.
Me: Yeah, its alright. I auctioned off my Porsche and gave the profit to the tsunami relief fund. I miss that car.
HG: That is so sweet! Oh my god...Are you crying?
Me: <trying to cry fake tears> Yeah well, its just so awful what happened to those people.
<Note: I�ve never donated a PENNY to charity, nor have I owned a porsche>
Me: But we were talking about you. Why don�t you take off that shirt so I can see what we�re working with.
<I thought it would be difficult to talk her into this, but she never hesitated. I surveyed her body saying �mmm, hmmm� and �okay�>
Me: You�re gonna have to take off those pants. I NEED to get a good overall look at you.
HG: Is that really necessary?
Me: Off with the pants, sweetie.
<She takes off her pants, and I notice that �HOTTIE� is printed across the ass. At this point, I know I�m getting some. Girls that wear pants that say �HOTTIE� or �ANGEL� or �BABY� on the pants are HUGE whores.>
Me: Well, I�ll tell ya what. I�ll give you my ab routine free of charge.
HG: Really? You�d do that for me?
Me: Yeah I�ll just email it to ya.
HG: That�s so nice of you. How could I ever repay you?
Me: <surveying her body> I can think of one way <I point to my dick and she goes down>
This girl was a Hoover ****in� vaccum. Obviously a sorority girl, she stops after 25 minutes and says �how long is this gonna take?� (I had slammed my girlfriend at about 4PM so I wasn�t blowing any time soon)
Me: You want the ****in� ab routine or not?
<She goes back to doing her job, and about 45 minutes later she gets a serving of protein down her throat>
Me: Alright. I�m out.
<I throw her pants and shirt outside the car. She starts getting dressed.>
HG: Email me that routine, K?
Me: Sure.
HG: When are we gonna hang out again?
Me: Ummm�
HG: Come on, give me your number.
Me: <putting on my avitaor sunglasses> Look baby, you don�t wanna get messed up with me. I�m an outlaw. A rebel.
HG: But, i dont even know your name and--
With that, I peel out into the night. All in a day�s work. All in a day's work.