Manly Candles

Brasstax

Brasstax

Contributor
Veteran XX
Is it even possible? Perhaps not. However...

Picked up one of these not long ago
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I think this one is by Colonial Candle from their Manly Indulgence series.

They are having a sale right now. Pretty decent prices. Made in the US.
https://colonialcandle.com/collections/aromatherapy-collection

Nice to see some candles that don't smell like vagina out there.
Change is good.

Tip of the hat to candle master Juggs
 
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What about a cordite scented candle? Maybe poured into something that looks like a shell casing?
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I'd take a hot chicken wing candle but the real thing is easier to get.

No fucking way am I clicking that link. Low-T and AARP spam isn't something i want to trigger.
 
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Fury Bros Black Beard Candle is swashbuckling on the Barbary Coast. A booty of the sulfur and spice. Pre-skirmish Edward Teach. Notes of gun powder & charred hickory.
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Off to check out FURY BROS... Will try not to misspell "fury"
 
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Completely insecure. That's why this shit is so important. One wrong choice and it's over, bro. Gone - like a hymen....
 
It's a minefield out there.
You have to be careful.
You could end with a Chinese candle that is scented like COVID.
Or, a Gwyneth Paltrow Vagina Candle. One whiff of that and it's over man, over.
iu
 
Thank god the Canadians are fighting back.
$100
THIS SMELLS LIKE MY PENIS CANDLE

This candle costs $25 more than than its vagina-smelling equivalent. That's because even though it's illegal in Canada to pay women less than men, the gender pay gap smells as strong as ever. On average, women earn 75 cents for every dollar men make. It's time to burn the gender pay gap.

​Coming soon to Canada. If you really want to know what My Penis smells like, enter your email below for updates.
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iu


It just doesn't seem manly to burn a candle that smells like dick.
So, do you go with the Vagina? I don't think so.
I think motor oil and shit like that are the way to go.

I mean, maybe the "man at home with nature" route is good. Juniper, cypress, oak.
 
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Sure - this is manly. But is it manly to burn these?
No.

iu


These would not send the right message.
So - very manly candle, but not very manly to burn these at your home.
Here is the dilemma. Can't burn a penis candle, can't burn a vagina candle.
 
Real men will have something like this around:
iu


Sure, it might not be an Optimus. Could be a Coleman. But, it's too much for in the house.

Why do we burn candles anyway? For one, they can smell good. It adds a little soft lighting which is nice to chill by.

That means you want something simple, long lasting and that smells manly. Simple. Maybe something like this:
iu


Or like this
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