Veet for Men

R

Rev. Zen

Veteran XV
May be OFN, but the reviews are :rofl:

Veet for Men

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Although I understood the part about 'intimate use' I could not find anything about this not being for nose or ear hair. I get fed up with constantly cutting myself whilst trying to cut my ear and nose hair with a pair of Kitchen Scissors, so I decided that this product would work for me. I rubbed it up into my nostrils and around the outside of my ears. Very soon the burn started and trust me it really makes your eyes water. Probably more that if it was on your knob or bollocks like the other reviewer did. If your eyes do water, make sure the product is not on your hands when you go to wipe your eyes as this porodcut also removes eyelashes and eyebrows and makes youe eyes water even more. I look like I have been put on a sunbed for too long and people keep asking me why I am crying. Still, a good product which does what it says.
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The wife had let her ladygarden get out of control, which is a polite way of saying she had a biffer like a barbers floor. I laced the front of all her pants with this stuff and its worked a treat! Now she's smoother than my uncle franks head, and he's a great bog baldy
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I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.
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After liberal application to my entire body, I managed to cut 3/100ths of a second from my 100m PB.

Not only does the streamlining help with speed I have also noticed that there is less 'clatter' when going over hurdles.

My balls now slice through the air like greased ferrets down a Yorkshirmans trousers.

Thanks Veet. See you at the Olympics.
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:rofl: these are great

In vain I tried to get my pebble sack to be completely hair free. No matter what I did there was always a hint of stubble down there that itched my nadger bag and would frequently snag on my shorts! You cannot imagine the looks I would get when I would pop my hand down there whilst loosening myself up or having a scratch. It's as if people have never seen a teacher with their hands down their pants in work!

So there I was squatting over a belt sander, stonks just inches from the whizzing power tool, when I was suddenly made aware by everyone in B&Q that there was a solution! Veet for Men!

So off I went, purchased a tube and slapped it on like I was icing a cake and at first all was well. But soon after, by golly gee willikers, I felt like I had just tea bagged a barbecue! I can never listen to Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire again without tears forming! However, after giving them a thorough hosing down I was immensely surprised to find not a single hair left! Smooth as a freshly polished otter and as slippery as a tabloid editor!

I cannot tell you the relief of having my cargo rolling loose around my undercrackers. The sense of freedom is astonishing. The pain only lasted a couple of weeks and I was only in the burns unit for a few days!
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:rofl:

Like many men I am particularly hirsute, especially round the extremely lower back area. I am constantly fighting a losing battle with various unwanted visitors tangled in my bottom hair. I have had the lot; clegnuts, winnits, cling-ons, dags and even danglebrries after my early morning ablutuions. Fed up with the pain and hassle of back, sack and crack appointments at the local salon I went hook, line and sinker for this wonderful product and haven't look back, except to admire my shiny bum. I have used it on my entire nethers; arse, barse, nads and my entire Biffin Bridge area and found it a most enjoyable experience. I think those of you who are moaning about the pain are being a bit testy. Try getting a Prince Albert!
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edit:

another good one...

After many years void of any female company, I decided to pack away my Dungeons and Dragons and find love. After spending many hours pouring over various love matching websites, with particularly alarming results when entering role-playing and Dungeons among my hobbies and interests, I found a particularly lovely Asian lady who seemed very keen to meet me (even suggesting coming to my house - couldn't believe my luck), but I decided to meet at a local Travelodge with a particularly good Harvester, after an awkward silence, she agreed.
In preparation for this landmark event in my life, I felt it necessary to address a number of pruning issues about my body - the major one being having the Jackson 5 in my underpants.
I had accidentally come across a number of adult websites when at home alone, and I had paid particular attention to the well maintained genital areas of it's participants, and knew this was the way to go.
I found this product and ordered up immediately, and as long as you follow the instructions, you won't be disappointed. I guess my only piece of advice before you start is to decide how much hair you're going to remove. I spread liberally over my penis and scrotal area, but my bottom area was just as hairy, and decided that should come off too to ensure maximum confidence.
Here's my advice, use only one hand to apply the hair removal gel, I am prone to loss of concentration, I had totally forgotten I had used both hands, only to realise too late as I showered afterwards that I had held my hand to my head when figuring out the logistics of looking at my bum crack in the mirror with my legs in the air trying to apply the gel. On the positive, many have since commented on my innovative style and 'high-fived' my head.
Unfortunately for me, I never made the date due to me having to take my mum's prize Chiuaua to the emergency vet that evening, bringing me onto my second piece of advice - ensure any pets are kept firmly out of the vacinity. Lucky seemed very excited about seeing me in the position I was in and set about jumping over me during the operation - he wasn't so Lucky at the vets.
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WINNER!

As a 24 year old male I suffer from having an incredibly hair anal passage, one could possibly argue that there there is probably more hair on this region of my body than my armpits.

A word of warning though people, PLEASE DO NOT Veet for men on your anus. I did this myself and learned the hard way.

Using veet for men has ruined my life, and I now can only walk with the aid of a walking stick.

It was a Monday evening and I was fed up of my anal bush, so I decided to take evasive action.

Before long my entire butt hole was plastered in the stuff. I thought everything was ok until I thought I could smell smoke, I frantically ran into the kitchen in case I had accidentally left the hob on, but to my horror I caught my naked reflection in the mirror and the smoke seemed to be coming from my arse.

I ran the tap until the sink was full and sat in it crying and sobbing from excruciating the pain, I then limped sheepishly into the bathroom to have a proper look and yes, it had worked, my anal bush was gone!

So yes Veet for men did everything it said it would do, but just to pre-warn any of you folk who suffer from an unusually hairy back passage, I would stick to scissors in the future.

Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men Veet for men
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:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
Being a Double for Brad Pitt has its advantages. I have a very close resemblance (not in the way you see some people who look like someone famous who had been boiled in chip fat) to the actor which has guaranteed me some lady attention. Mother nature being the bitch she is has decided to even things up with my handsome looks doubled with a body like chewbacca. If I was the age I am now but living in the 70s, I would certainly be king of the castle and probably be making 'the sort of films' that were aplenty during that period, but this is 2012 and there is no use for us men who can double as a bear rug. To combat this gorilla look I have, I take a monthly Acid bath which makes me look human at least for 3 weeks until i sprout another grass like coat. As you can imagine, my time spent with the ladies usually only lasts a few dates so I decided to take drastic action to combat this problem. While perusing the aisles of B&Q I came across VEET FOR MEN next to the power tools. I read the product description and decided that this was the product i had been born to use. Me-1 mother nature-0. The ingredients in the bottle where Napalm, Dried chilli flakes, plutonium and lava. I thought "hmmmm, this sounds safe" How wrong was I!!! I went home and lathered myself with this product paying extra attention to my genital hedge and 'choco exaust port' with disregard to the instructions. Instantly I began to glow like a zillion candle floodlight with pain akin to showering under a space rocket. I jumped in the shower to relieve the agony only to block the shower drain with a mass of fur. WARNING, water and this corrosive mixture = pain. Water running down my body felt like getting sand blasted onto your sunburn. Exiting the shower I was suprised to see that all traces of hair were destroyed. My man patch looks like E.T and my ring resembles a halo, never again will I have dangleberries. I'm sure, in the months to come when I lose the red aura and my farts don't burn there way out of my ringo I can face life again. Although, Brad Pitt no more. I'm doubling for Duncan Goodhew now!!
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This one had me dying.
 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: christ these are classic.


I'm not particularly hairy downstairs but now that I'm approaching middle age my genital foliage is very course and unsightly, resembling a well worn Brillo pad. My wife on the other hand has a luxuriant thatch of long fine fur like that on a mink or similar small carnivore but with fewer teeth. It's also very dark. From a distance it looks like she's been hit between the legs with a bag of soot. So, for us, position one in the Karma Sutra is out of the question. Should I go in too far in my attempt to take Captain Pickard to warp speed; our pubes can lock together like the Velcro fastening on a Barbour jacket.

We are thus obliged to adopt the position favoured by my pet lurcher when he encounters herbivorous quadrupeds (he has orientation issues regarding species as well as gender - we live in Wales). Any attempt to copulate face-to-face can have us pogo dancing around the bedroom like conjoined twins in search of a pair of scissors to cut away the entwined spider's legs and spring onion roots. As you can imagine there is little variation in our sex life. I once tried rodeo sex; mounted her doggy style and yelled out the name of my ex and tried to say on board as long as I could. I longed for a bit of the old missionary.

My wife is very fond of her welcome mat and spends considerable time stroking and grooming it so any hair removal had to be undertaken by me. Shaving is out of the question as the stubble that returns after four or five days gives her a nasty rash on her chin. The smooth finish promised by Veet seemed to be the answer to our prayers.

Having read the warnings we decided that it would be best to have her assist in the application of the Veet gel. Being cautious she put on a rubber gloves and set about her task at arm's length using the handy spatula supplied. We then had to wait six minutes. That is a hell of long time when you're butt naked and your wife is kneeling in front of you wearing a broad smile and a pair of Marigolds. Needless to say we got distracted. She laid back, opened the hanger doors and I commenced docking procedure with the command module. After about six minutes, just like is says on the box, the old Brillo pad came away and attached itself to Osama's beard. Sadly, by this time our activity has spread the Veet to other areas and the effect was becoming corrosive. Fortuitously, my wife had already filled a washing up bowl with cold water as a precaution so I was able to jump off and lie over the bowl with my gentlemen's vegetables dangling in the cooling liquid whilst she ran screaming for the bathroom. I haven't seen her react like that since I dipped one of her dildos in chilli powder.
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this made me :rofl:

As a reformed member of the Vietcong and survivor of numerous F4 Phantom Napalm strikes, I can say with confidence that the Yanks used the wrong ingredients for their incendiary devices.

I applied a small dab of this product onto my gentleman's sphericals and the searing pain was immediate, intense and will cause me flashbacks for the rest of my life. My poor swollen glands now have a blue hue and I fear they will never recover.

Had Colonel Kilgore and his dogs used this against my brave communist brothers we would have surrendered immediately.
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