[So] I just found a spider in my kitchen...

[Leiawen]

And I'll Paypal $10 to whomever can tell me what kind of spider it is.

P.S. I'm kidding about the $10; its plainly fucking obvious what kind of spider this is.

 

[Slash]

I found one of those bastards in my lawn yesterday, took my 12" boot to his punk ass.

 

[Grief]

Looks like a dead one to me. Those are pretty harmless.

 

[GeneralHell]

I stepped on one barefoot as I walked into my bathroom... killed it but it's fucking with my head.

brb, gonna burn the house down.

 

[Dennis]

I killed this giant grasshopper on the ceiling last night and yellow goo went everywhere after I crunched him.

 

[Monkey_b]

black widows are scary motherfuckers

 

[Brasstax]

Spider's in the kitchen with Leiawen
Spider's in the kitchen I know o o o
Spider's in the kitchen with Leiawen
Cummin on the old homo

 

[Automata]

did you cook it up afterwards?

 

[Leiawen]

did you cook it up afterwards?

No, its sitting on a paper towel here at my desk so I can freak my wife out with it later when she gets home from the store.

 

[Automata]

Dude, my fiancée would flip if she saw a black widow. She can't even throw away the dead spiders she kills with RAID.

 

[Leiawen]

Then you understand why I'm keeping it.

Me: "Hey, look what I found in your kitchen!!!"
Her: *Screams*

Comedy gold.

 

[qcksilver316]

anybody know why spiders always curl up when they die?

 

[Gallium]

latrotoxins ftw

 

[Leiawen]

anybody know why spiders always curl up when they die?

Muscles attached on the inside of the exoskeleton contract to move the legs inward, but spiders don't have any muscles to extend the legs back out again. Instead, they have to force bodily fluids (mainly blood) into the legs to push them outward. If a spider loses too much body water, it can't generate the necessary hydraulic pressure to push its legs out. This is why you sometimes see spiders on their backs with their legs curled up.

Google ftw.

 

[leetdemon]

black widows are scary motherfuckers

yup looks like a black widow to me too.

 

[Fox k]

I found a spider in my kitchen the other day... making a sandwich... [So] I'm moving.

 

[kazan]

Black widows aren't scary. They're everywhere around here.

I'd be more worried about recluses.

 

[Monkey_b]

I freak out either way

 

[Tribalbob]

I found a spider in my kitchen the other day... making a sandwich... [So] I'm moving.

what kind of sandwich was it making?

 

[mjoe]

lol "your" kitchen