A few months before I started dating the woman who is now my wife, I was picked up at a local bar by this chick we'll call "Teresa" (mainly because I can't remember if that was really her name).
So, Teresa's not the hottest chick in the world, but I'm slightly drunk and she seems at least mildly doable.
We go back to my house, where we have a couple drinks in the kitchen. She then throws her arms around me and starts kissing. One of her hands trails down my chest and starts rubbing my cock through my pants, so I decide to reciprocate.
As my hand envelops her generously sized right breast, she backs away and says, "No, no, no! Nuh-uh .. mmmm ... no."
I look at her and go, "Uh, okay ... sure, so do you want ..."
Then she's kissing me again. And I'm like, WTF?
And again with the cock rubbing. Now Teresa's mouth is on my neck and I'm getting turned on once more.
My hand reaches under her skirt and I begin to rub her pussy.
"NO, NO, NO!"
She backs away.
What. The. Fuck.
Then before I can say a word, she bends over, rips my cock out of my pants, and starts sucking on it like it's the last lollipop in the candy factory.
At this point, I'm starting to think that I should not have given this chick the opportunity to learn where I live.
She pulls her mouth off my very confused penis, takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs. We get to my bedroom, where she pulls out a condom and puts it on me, before pulling me on top of her and guiding me in.
As I'm pounding away in her, she's shaking her head and muttering, "No, no, no, no, no!"
WHAT. THE. FUCK!!!!!!
Finally -- and it can't happen too soon -- I bust in the cockular raincoat and pull out.
This time, it's me who backs away.
"Well, that was fun," says I.
"Mmmhhhmmm," Teresa replies, just before I lead her downstairs to the front door. As I hand her her purse and usher her out, she finally realizes that she's being dismissed.
"Hey, wait, don't you want my phone number or anything?"
"No, I don't think that would be a good idea."
As Teresa scowled at me and got into her car, I stood there silently beseeching whatever sane gods might exist that I would not wake up tomorrow to the knock of a local law enforcement official with a warrant for my arrest.
It took another two beers for me to finally work up the courage to pass out.
kharnal
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