Trepdation
Veteran X
Don't ask how I ended up there but I was intrigued so I read it. Pretty funny shit. Reminded me of TW caliber humor. lol
Make it a Double Down of Class
LAFFS by Randall Cleveland on September 15, 2010 at 9:00 AM
The folks over at KFC have a problem. First off, they want you to forger that KFC stands for "Kentucky FRIED Chicken," because that sounds unhealthy. How we've reached a point in America where a company can just change its name to initials and hope people don't notice the difference is beyond me, but that's not the point.
The problem is that young adults don't recognize Colonel Harland Sanders, the deceased founder and now animated spokesman for KFC restaurants.
While you or I might think children not knowing fast food pitchmen by heart would be a sign of progress, the good people at KFC see that at a pretty big issue and have launched an all-out blitz to get kids "Talkin' 'Bout the Colonel." (I'm trademarking that phrase now before they swipe it.) Now at first I thought this was like a Neighborhood Watch thing, y'know? But it turns out, KFC wants children to be aware of Colonel Sanders because they think kids will inexplicably develop positive feelings towards a man who looks like a plantation owner from Roots and who sells sandwiches made of pure saturated fat.
How do you get people excited about the same corporate image without investing in a new spokesperson like Pamela Anderson? You appeal to the most natural and salient desire of children everywhere: drawing corporate mascots!
That's right, through the end of September you can sketch your own portrait of Colonel Sanders and submit it to KFC to win...uh...$1100. Apparently that's $100 for each of the secret ingredients. I mean, hey, a thousand bucks is nice, but c'mon. What's that after taxes? $500, maybe? I guess KFC's hurting worse than I thought.
Still, the winning artist will get to paint a BRAND NEW PORTRAIT of the Colonel using paint containing KFC's trademarked secret 11 herbs and spices. And, presumably, the blood of chickens.
I say let them do whatever they want so long as they don't resurrect his zombified corpse like they did Orville Reddenbacher. That said, how would YOU depict Colonel Sanders? Good-natured grandpa in a seersucker suit? Or carnage-clad conqueror of cluckery? Let us know in the comments!
Make it a Double Down of Class
LAFFS by Randall Cleveland on September 15, 2010 at 9:00 AM
The folks over at KFC have a problem. First off, they want you to forger that KFC stands for "Kentucky FRIED Chicken," because that sounds unhealthy. How we've reached a point in America where a company can just change its name to initials and hope people don't notice the difference is beyond me, but that's not the point.
The problem is that young adults don't recognize Colonel Harland Sanders, the deceased founder and now animated spokesman for KFC restaurants.
While you or I might think children not knowing fast food pitchmen by heart would be a sign of progress, the good people at KFC see that at a pretty big issue and have launched an all-out blitz to get kids "Talkin' 'Bout the Colonel." (I'm trademarking that phrase now before they swipe it.) Now at first I thought this was like a Neighborhood Watch thing, y'know? But it turns out, KFC wants children to be aware of Colonel Sanders because they think kids will inexplicably develop positive feelings towards a man who looks like a plantation owner from Roots and who sells sandwiches made of pure saturated fat.
How do you get people excited about the same corporate image without investing in a new spokesperson like Pamela Anderson? You appeal to the most natural and salient desire of children everywhere: drawing corporate mascots!
That's right, through the end of September you can sketch your own portrait of Colonel Sanders and submit it to KFC to win...uh...$1100. Apparently that's $100 for each of the secret ingredients. I mean, hey, a thousand bucks is nice, but c'mon. What's that after taxes? $500, maybe? I guess KFC's hurting worse than I thought.
Still, the winning artist will get to paint a BRAND NEW PORTRAIT of the Colonel using paint containing KFC's trademarked secret 11 herbs and spices. And, presumably, the blood of chickens.
I say let them do whatever they want so long as they don't resurrect his zombified corpse like they did Orville Reddenbacher. That said, how would YOU depict Colonel Sanders? Good-natured grandpa in a seersucker suit? Or carnage-clad conqueror of cluckery? Let us know in the comments!
