[Craigslist] Best. Drummer. Ad. Ever.

[silentsam]

I do NOT play to a click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I'm gonna "tone it down a little, bro" so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box. I WILL NOT play hotel cafe and don't take direction from ninnies who live in their fucking parents basement and whack off to dreams of hanging with Jack Johnson and rapping about his "process", you piece of shit. I am a real mother fucker with balls of steel and have a drumset that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind and I need to join a band who understands that stage-sex is part of the fucking game, dude. So when I'm fucking the shit outta the kit, you can't be the guy in the corner beating your limp, taffy dick wishing that you could stick your dick in too, NO! You get that dick hard and fuck the stage with me, pussy boy. I'm so sick of stealing the show and would really love to meet some real sons of fucking bitches who aren't afraid to use a sweat band for its intended purpose: wiping off fucking sweat, cum, groupies, pussy juice, blood, etc.

Do not write me for reasons of sass because I will FIND YOU and shred your fucking face with my SHIT-STORMING DRUM GODLINESS!

URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/muc/3036860974.html

PS - In before: OFN, tl;dr and not funny.

 

[GreyGhost]

Togo drunk posting on CL.

 

[Android1]

 

[eggo]

haha awesome

too bad he didnt talk about what he actually liked to play

fail

 

[P Masta Flex]

haha awesome

too bad he didnt talk about what he actually liked to play

fail

well anything that will get him bitches I suppose

 

[schmerz]

best I've seen yet, I'd like to meet this fine sir.

 

[Shoddy]

too bad he didnt talk about what he actually liked to play

smooth jazz

 

[old_skul]

Location: L.A.

 

[Rev. Zen]

 

[NoGodForMe]

Funny. The problem is, death metal bands can't make it. The bars hire cover bands that play tunes everyone knows, so the chicks can sing along. So yeah, we play Hotel California. This guy wants to be the star. What he needs to do is move his kit to the front of the stage and sing.

 

[old_skul]

Robert, there are tons of clubs all over that cater to the original music scene. There's a whole different group of people who go there.

The cover band scene is entirely different and attracts a different crowd (e.g. the "chicks")

 

[malibru]

That hair cannot be his.

 

[Falhawk]

The cover band scene is entirely different and attracts a different crowd (e.g. the "really really old fat drunk chicks")

fixed

 

[old_skul]

fixed

More true than you know

 

[Vanster]

The only thing I hate more than classic rock is bar bands that cover it.

 

[DEFCON 1]

Best part of that ad

"I am a real mother fucker with balls of steel and have a drumset that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind"

 

[Apathy]

The only thing I hate more than classic rock is bar bands that cover it.

karaoke night

 

[NoGodForMe]

The only thing I hate more than classic rock is bar bands that cover it.

But we're good at it. We have me on keys and a 3 piece horn section (8 people total, 5 vocals). What I hate is 3 piece bands playing keyboard songs.

 

[brick]

ngfm have you guys thought of adding a second sax? I've found dueling saxophones to just add that next level

 

[arcadus]

you're hired