Bad Poetry Corner

Brasstax said:
Stone Gnome
(C)2006 Brasstax

Roam, roam
little gnome
Where dost thou go?
Perhaps to Rome?

Hewn from stone
lovingly painted
not from wood
Gepato's bane you are
STONE
The stuff of God.
Not weak.
Like a ROCK you stand.
Devout.
But ready for action
and adventure to places
unkown.
Go, now,
with basalt gestalt
and travel to distant lands.
Becasue you are -
and always will be
A STONE GNOME.

gnome.jpg
Click to expand...
Beautiful. Terrible, just terrible. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I had a friend from Duluth who wrote poetry for years, and eventually he got to be fantastically good as a lyricist. But that's because he did the only thing you can if you really want to get good fast: do it all the time and constantly get feedback from people who are good enough to know why your stuff sucks.

So for years I was subjected to stuff worse than anything in this thread. Worse by far.

We should really pull out guitars and make actual listenable (shitty) folk/punk songs from these.
 
I love bad poetry. The more serious and somber the better. Maybe I will try some punk/folk next.
 
Let's All Post On Tribal War!

Children adults smurfs and cheaters,
trailercrash killers and wife beaters

Come one come all every one,
Let's go now don't walk lets run

Fngr-BANGin' wholesome fun
With Big head airsoft and his gun

Wangdouche llama forum whore
Bannable ballsacks we adore!
Trannies furries and so much more!
HEY LET'S ALL POST ON TRIBAL WARYEAH!


[Chorus]
It's a magical place online, for you and me to meet
(ahhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhh)
Where everyone speaks their mind, on how to take a sheet
(ahhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhh)
acapella:
It's better than watching tee-VEE, oh yeah
It tells you to play with your pee-PEE, oh yeah
And that darkies love the kayeffSEE, oh yeah
[/Chorus]

[So] I killed a guy at work today
[So] librulls hate the 'Murrican way
[So] i shit myself, [So] i think i'm gay,

[So] emo this and faggot that
and this thread features Fancy Cat
who's in your sig kay thanx I'm jizzin'
mindless bullshit FngrVision!

Juggernaught's advice on whores,
"air conditioner", what's that fors?
Pee O'd? Settle up teh SCORES
HEY LET'S ALL POST IN TRIBAL WARSYEAH!
 
This was inspired by the Chuck Norris resurgence over the past few years:

Chuck Norris is a rugged man
his fists bring fear to all
If Chuck became a lumberjack
his kicks would make trees fall

If Chuck was on World's Strongest Man
his opponents would all die
Because Chuck works out on the Total Gym
His pecks make grown men cry

As Walker, Chuck protects the earth
and keeps Texas safe and sound
Tree-burning ninjas best beware
or Walker will hunt you down!

If Chuck Norris fought the Karate Kid
The fight would not be dull
He'd punch him once and break his neck
And line dance on his skull

In Enter The Dragon Chuck fought Bruce Lee
But sadly faced a loss
But Bruce is dead and Chuck's still here
So that makes him the boss

Chuck Norris loves his cowboy hat
it's his secret source of power
Chuck never ever takes it off
even when he's in the shower

On second thought, ignore that part
it makes me sound quite gay
I've haven't seen him in the shower
and I like girls... okay?
 
Madison's A Squirter
(C) 2006 Brasstax

I laid her down
For shaggin
I started dropping trou
tongue was waggin
Gonna get some fine
fine piece of pie

I looked her in the eye
She was smilin
I looked between her legs
she had a wide on
Tower called the sign
I was clear to go

Madison
She is a flirter
Holy fucking shit
She is a squirter
she shot me in the eye
Who's crying now?
 
mr_luc said:
[Chorus]
It's a magical place online, for you and me to meet
(ahhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhh)
Where everyone speaks their mind, on how to take a sheet
(ahhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhh)
acapella:
It's better than watching tee-VEE, oh yeah
It tells you to play with your pee-PEE, oh yeah
And that darkies love the kayeffSEE, oh yeah
[/Chorus]
Click to expand...

:lol: "It's a magical place online" ah hahaha
 
SHY TO FCUK WITH UR SHORT GUN? L0NGER 3" INSTANTLY find
(c)2006 Marina Meghann (spam e-mail series)

he filled explain. promised sugar prison raise carefully.
prison raise benefit leader supposedto? friends off thats reply.
filled sandwich suddenly again next human. reference turning prison music. very rich find sugar fire,
bad she supposedto again anything evening.
you side anybody miserable.
 
Brasstax said:
:lol: "It's a magical place online" ah hahaha
Click to expand...

Anything To Get To You
(c) 2006 mr_luc

Hey baby baby baby, I just
want to be with you baby, I must

Do anything to have you, I lust
For you so bad baby and I just want to bust

[Chorus]
Baby, baby, I want you so bad
Your hot little body just gots to be had
So I guess I'll be doin' your momma, too
Cuz it's the only way to get to you
[/Chorus]

Yeah baby baby baby, I want
Your tight little body so damm bad, you flaunt
Your ass on the sono-gram, so temptingly
That I'll fuck your mom just so you can empty me

[Chorus]
Baby, baby, I want you so bad
Your hot little body just gots to be had
So I guess I'll be doin' your momma, too
Cuz it's the only way to get to you
[/Chorus]
 
Deep Daggin
(C) 2006 Brasstax

Woo!
What's that I see?
Something you gonna give to me?
Smells like Tuna!
Tastes like Shrimp!
But what the fuck
that shit is pimp

Deep daggin
(gonna take my sword out and put it in your ear)
Deep daggin
(turn ya right around now and put it in your rear)
Keep shaggin

OH FA SHIZZLE here comes the bridge
bend ya over backwards get a beer out from the fridge
hotdog in your donut put a ham on titty ridge
slammin in your kumquat makes my weeny really squidge

Deep daggin
(oh that's good keep it rollin to the right)
Deep daggin
(got a little peeny but I can use it right)
So swollen
(pumpin like a pumpkin I can pump it up all night)
So broken
(holy fuck you broke it cuz your pussy was to tight)
 
Harriet, sweet Harriet
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggus
Beautiful, bemused, belicose butcher
So knowing
So trusting
So lov-Ed?

He wants you back he screams into the night air
like a fireman going to a window that has no fire
‘cept the passion of his heart
I am lonely
It’s really hard
This poem sucks
 
SaintDude said:
Harriet, sweet Harriet
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggus
Beautiful, bemused, belicose butcher
So knowing
So trusting
So lov-Ed?

He wants you back he screams into the night air
like a fireman going to a window that has no fire
‘cept the passion of his heart
I am lonely
It’s really hard
This poem sucks
Click to expand...

That was beautiful. I started sobbing at "fireman".
 
LT sucks dick
(C) 2006 n9ne

Tribes.exe
Double click, refresh vis
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Demo on
Sort by: players
Onion patch, 23/24
Connect
14| n9ne: I have the enemy flag, heading back to our base.
14| n9ne: Cover me!
[Master.Ace] guns down 14| n9ne.
14| n9ne: Sigh...
14| n9ne: I have the enemy flag, heading back to our base.
14| n9ne: I need an escort back to base!
Chuck Norris guns down 14| n9ne.
14| n9ne: Sigh...
14| n9ne: I have the enemy flag, heading back to our base.
14| n9ne: Missed me!
14| n9ne: Missed me!
14| n9ne: Missed me!
Dawar guns down 14| n9ne.
14| n9ne: Sigh...
esc, quit
LT sucks dick
 
I bought a Compaq Presario
(C) 2006 Pachacutec

I was just out to lunch
When I saw a Compaq Presario
I had a huge hunch
Why not just buyario!

I'm pissed off at my boss
He thinks he knows it all
But can he double dj,
or do midairs at all?!?!

I used to like games
But now they suck dick
But at least I'm stuck here,
in this Tribalwar.com shit.
 
Outer Space Love Baby
(c) 2006 claudius

I've got a rocket in my pocket
For you
My big Saturn V
Set to penetrate your space
Countdown to ignition
Strap yourself in
Baby
For launch is imminent
 
Idioms, sayings, and other crap
(Also known as What The Hell Is Football?)

----

I live in a world where
rooms are made of mush.
On our feet we wear
puppies that hush.
Parents encourage their kids
to play in the street.
We cut the tails off of rabbits,
and call them feet.
For people we like
we wish them harm.
“Break a leg.”
Why not an arm?
The days of summer
belong to a dog.
Give kids a bottle cap,
call it a pog.

What the hell is football?
Does it have toes?
The answer to this,
most everyone knows.
It is a game played on turf,
which is grass that never grows,
and attaches itself
to player’s toes.

Where do I live,
you are sure to ask.
What am I drinking?
Where is my flask?

I had not a drink,
at least not today,
it doesn’t take liquor
to talk this way.
I am only restating
conversations I’ve had,
with speakers of English,
whose words drove me mad.
 
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