at the office today my boss said

Buk Naked said:
The kitchen drawer thing is probably some flavor-of-the-day management seminar they had. We heard “blue ocean strategy” crap for a month or two, and then it was getting down to the “ground truths” for a couple of months, next month it will be something else.
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We used to called that "management by in-flight magazine". Still shitty.
 
dana white is busy in negotiations with mcgregor and khabib.

khabib lays down the belt and mcgregor agrees to the russia fight for a large sum of money.

khabib says - mcgregor is #1 bullshit, we must do this.



war eagle boys!
 
We have a great deal of bullshit-speak. One I tend to use verbally sometimes while half laughing is:

"sub-optimal"

For example:

"That meeting was sub-optimal"
"Clarification received regarding the scope of the XYZ project is sub-optimal"
"Our client's ability to give a rough date that they will require ABC is sub-optimal"
"Oh shit. Look out the window, the weather is turning sub-optimal"

I keep a list pinned to the wall at my desk of some of the great BS lines I've collected from newsletters and communications. Members in our open plan office assist by calling out when they think they found one worth adding to the list.
 
Going forward I will be using your sub-optimal suggestion in my workflow paradigm to leverage synergies which enable positive stakeholder outcomes.

THX for doing the needful, herewith attached.
 
It's annoying just reading it as a joke ^^

I don't understand how more offices don't get shot up
 
ArakAtak said:
Going forward I will be using your sub-optimal suggestion in my workflow paradigm to leverage synergies which enable positive stakeholder outcomes.

THX for doing the needful, herewith attached.
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O God the term synergy

I think I've only heard one person use it correctly and not sound like a jackass
 
My boss said to me today - "I don't feel like doing much work, time to go to the driving range" and I replied to myself in the best macho man voice "OoooooHhh YEeeaaah"

Fuck working for someone else's best interests!
 
The one that used to drive me nuts was "out of the box", it's OUTSIDE the box YOU STUPID CUNT! Out of the box means PRE-PACKAGED, not INNOVATIVE OR NEW.

FUCK!
 
Deeper stakeholder engagement.

buffy-and-stake.jpg
 
You are challenging perceptions with your impactful statements.

I'm going to take this offline and grab the low hanging fruit.
 
Tic said:
You mean making OTHER people money and you getting a very small % of it?

Yeah....most people do that.....
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No I mean making money to sustain oneself. It doesn't matter what the guy above you makes.

Plenty of people far richer than you are not working for themselves.
 
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