Bad Pun Friday

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her
breasts. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the
tip of your breasts and say, "Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies."
She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked!
She grew great boobs!
One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized
she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new
boobs and didn't want to lose them, so right in the middle of the
bus--"Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?"
"Why, yes, I do. How did you know?"
"Hickory dickory dock."
 
Plasmatic said:
So, wall of bullshit

THE END
Click to expand...

if this isnt some sort of incest fan fic or something im out.

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I bought a cash register but I think it's broken. All the numbers work fine until a press the decimal key. Then, the only key that works is the "0."

Spoiler
 
Did you hear about the hipster that drowned?
Spoiler


But that's not the whole story. He was trying to drink coffee while riding his bike. The coffee burned his mouth, which caused him to drive his bike off a bridge.
Spoiler
 
T-Dawg said:
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her
breasts. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the
tip of your breasts and say, "Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies."
She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked!
She grew great boobs!
Click to expand...
So, back when I was in 9th grade, this really good looking redhead chick that lived across a couple of streets from me was complaining about the size of her tits. Which, of course, there was nothing wrong with them at all. (i know this because she was my side squeeze for 2 years or so)

Anyways, one day while complaining about them, I told her to eat yogurt every day as that will help them grow. Fast-forward 6 years or so and we ran into each other. We got to talking over some drinks and I commented on her tits, complimenting them. She said, "Thank you. That's good because I have been eating that disgusting yogurt every day but it appears to have worked."

I almost lost it. She noticed me giggling inside and asked me wtf. I told her that I totally made that shit up. Her face went from being excited about a compliment to grrrr! Anyways, after a few laughs, one thing leads to another and we were back in bed.

I'm just glad she wasn't lactose intolerant and continued to eat the yogurt. :lol:
 
I woke up this morning with the delusion that I was invisible. I called several psychiatrists for help, but none of them could see me today.
 
I had a crazy dream last night. I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea..
 
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