4. Busboys and Poets, Hyattsville.
Decor: Politically extreme left.
The first thing that I noticed were the "We support Black Lives Matter" stickers on the windows. Goddamned commie pinkos. Racist fucks. But well... shit. Maybe it was good to see how the other half eats.
Less than half the place was an eatery. Most of the space inside was devoted to books that promote this pervasive philosophy. There were posters along the walls that had portraits of bleeding heart liberals. It was like the socialist movement borrowed a page from the Christian delis of the '80s. Go in, get lunch, and get saved. But this was anything BUT born again. How about a little brainwashing with your Caesar salad?
The good news is that no one who worked there knew me from Adam. I do NOT have a famous face. Shit... half of you fucks wouldn't recognize me if I happened to walk into your loony bin. I decided to go incognito. Yeah, I hated the idea of throwing bux at antifa. But you sociopaths on tw deserve to know the truth about the food there.
At least the service people decided to keep their politics to themselves while I was there. As far as they were concerned, I was just another open minded schlump who was hungry during lunchtime on a work day.
The place was clean, I'll give it that. The covid fear prompted extra efforts to disinfect, no doubt. Yes, I sported a covid mask. This was necessary if I wanted to get served.
Two gay niggers were flirting in a nearby booth. Both seemed to regard me cautiously. No worries there, swishies. I was just there to eat and observe. Please continue to drink your aidswater unmolested.
Goddammit, I wanted this place to fail with all of my heart. The service was very good and the food was excellent. The crab cake was to die for. All I wanted to do was go berserk and condemn everyone there with unabashed righteousness. But by keeping sane, I uncovered many positive traits of this restaurant.
Crabcake, side salad, and glass of water ran me $18.
Parking was metered. But fuck that shit. I parked illegally in a nearby private lot for an industrial cleaning supply store. I managed to return to my car before it was towed.
I wouldn't go back of course. Despite the food and service being great, I wouldn't give those radicals another dime. My only knock was that the portions seemed to be too small.
My grade: A-.
Busboys and Poets is highly recommended.