I had a nice call from the Gastro Clinic

S

Stilgar

Veteran XX
Did I enjoy my colonoscopy?

Sunday I started the prep which consists of inducing diarrhea and not eating.
Monday, I got to the clinc a half hour early - my wife cannot judge traffic.
I mean, leave at 5:30 to make a 7am?
I know this is LA, but still.

I walked in.
Signed in.
Sat for about 5 minutes. The "clientele" was 4 black women a white women and me.

My name is called and a short Jamacian woman has me assigned to a gurney. She starts explaining the procedure and hands me a bag to place my clothes in. In addition she hands me a fabric (not paper) gown.
Keep my shoes on, but everything else comes off and into the plastic bag.
I'm folding my clothes and she's calling me to hurry up.

I get back to the gurney and she draws the curtain.
I get to sign papers acknowledging there is a 1:5000 chance of death or injury.
Oh, I feel MUCH better.

She starts an saline IV, we talk more and then Pepe comes to wheel me to the exam room.
Pepe doesn't enjoy his job, douchebag.
My wife drives better.

In the exam room and - another Jamacian women (the fucking place is infested with Caribs). She hooks me up to the heart, bp & respiration monitor.
Sticks the O2 nose piece in and discusses cell phones with andother Jamican colleague.
I am ready to call the doctor, "Mon."

Here comes the doctor - not Jamacian?
American english?
Whoa.
He asks the standard stuff - any history of colon cancer...yeah, my mom...any problem with bowel movements...other than hemmerhoids?...no.
To cement the deal he tells me he's been doing this 30 years - the fucker is barely 40 something - so I shouldn't fret (my bp was 160/100).

"I'm going to give you something to help you relax."

"Huh?"
The first woman is standing over me with my bag of clothes...time to get dressed.
I remember nothing.
Not falling asleep.
Not getting dressed.
Not leaving the place.

I LIKE THAT DRUG...I wonder what amnesiatic agent they used?
I like that shit.

The woman hands me a manilla folder which I open.
Color photos of my colon, cecum and the polyp the doctor removed.
Dude...I get souvenirs, too?

So, today a Jamacian woman calls to see if I enjoyed the procedure.
I had to admit it wasn't half bad.
 
I've got an endoscopy tomorrow morning. I expect my experience to be similar (except its in upstate New York, so no minorities).
 
ITT we learned that stilgar recently got ass raped by two black chicks and their pimp...


And enjoyed it.
 
nigafool said:
you shouldn't contribute stories from your life stilgar because it seems really boring
Click to expand...

Wait til you've had one. Not boring at all when you're the one assuming the position while they ask you if "that feels like enough lube? Ok, let's start the insertion."
 
any idea what they gave you? i mean i doubt they would 'put you under' for something like that, but that's what it sounds like

any idea how long you were out?
 
I've never had anything like that done, but it doesn't seem like a lot of fun to just wake up having no recollection of what they did to you.
 
Was the anal region sore afterwards?

Were you hungry?

How long did the high last?

Did he buy you dinner?
 
Vee said:
any idea what they gave you? i mean i doubt they would 'put you under' for something like that, but that's what it sounds like

any idea how long you were out?
Click to expand...
Demerol and versed. It was 7:45 when Pepe took me in, another 15 minutes getting hooked up and I left at 9:00 am. The procedure itself was supposed to take 10 minutes.

nSpectre said:
So he got you in a half hour later?
Click to expand...
He smacked every wall and door in the place.
 
nice OP, well written, entertaining plus insightful to future proceedings when i get to elderly status, A++ would read again
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top