[AIM LOGS][NWS PICS] Fat Taco Bell Employee wants my cock
UPDATED! Scroll down for Part 2!
She went to high school with me. I have no idea how this conversation lasted so long. Also, feel free to give me some ideas on what to do next when she inevitably IM's me tomorrow.
The conversation:
ThE MaD CaNeR: can you make me some tacos
kissmeimirish: who is this?
ThE MaD CaNeR: MIKE ROSS
kissmeimirish: oOo
kissmeimirish: how you get my sn? lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: magic
kissmeimirish: facebook?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yes
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: duh
ThE MaD CaNeR: so tell me some classified information
kissmeimirish: like what?
ThE MaD CaNeR: does anyone spit/jizz/bleed/ or excrete any other bodily fluid into any of the food products at taco bell?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: K, good. Now I can eat there with 100 percent confidence.
kissmeimirish: ok
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: u know i'm a manager now? lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: holy shit sweet
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: so when you gonna come visit me?
ThE MaD CaNeR: at taco bell or are you propositioning me for sex
ThE MaD CaNeR: do you do coke
kissmeimirish: yes i do when it is offered to me.. i never pay for my drugs
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea same, but lately i've been getting a little bit too much offered to me you know what i mean
ThE MaD CaNeR: my parents made me go to a half-way house
ThE MaD CaNeR: and all i want is taco bell
kissmeimirish: aw
kissmeimirish: well i'm not there.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: could you just call in an order
ThE MaD CaNeR: and then i can just drive by and say that im your boyfriend or something and that I'm here to pick it up
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: they all know i'm single hun
ThE MaD CaNeR: say im your boy toy
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: and that you wanna hook me up with some free tacos
kissmeimirish: no my gm is there now
ThE MaD CaNeR: fuck
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: like i have the shakes
kissmeimirish: aw
ThE MaD CaNeR: and i dont think its from the coke, its from lack of chalupas
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: have you seen me since school?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea at the drive through window
kissmeimirish: i look different now then i did in school....
ThE MaD CaNeR: is that so
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: i lost alot of weight and i'm alot more girly..
ThE MaD CaNeR: do you have any pics
kissmeimirish: on facebook i do
ThE MaD CaNeR: no, im talking about, other kinds of pics
kissmeimirish: no.. lol
kissmeimirish: ur bad
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you do a line of coke off my boner
kissmeimirish: wow
ThE MaD CaNeR: im sorry im being a little too forward
kissmeimirish: its kinda weird cuz i have know you like forever and idk if it is you or the coke taslking...
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, well, I apologize.
kissmeimirish: its ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: i just love taco bell so i think i might be associating you with tacos which is why im think im so attracted to you right now
ThE MaD CaNeR: im joking
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: nah i always thought you were good looking in high school
ThE MaD CaNeR: i always liked my woman thick which is funny because i was so skinny ya know
kissmeimirish: and you said nothin?????
ThE MaD CaNeR: Yea I was shy. I still am. but when Im on coke and taco bell I say whats on my mind
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: i liked you when you sat in front of me in health class.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah cool
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: i added you on facebook
ThE MaD CaNeR: what are you doing tomorrow
kissmeimirish: i have a management class down by philly from 9 to 5 then.. nothin
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to get a bottle of vodka and see where it goes?
kissmeimirish: lol..
kissmeimirish: i would but i have to do the same thing on wed..
ThE MaD CaNeR: cmon
ThE MaD CaNeR: we can get some free tacos, drink a little bit
ThE MaD CaNeR: i do this really funny thing where i put my junk inside a burrito
ThE MaD CaNeR: ive had girls eat it off before lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: im into kinky stuff like that
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: yes or no. are you into me
ThE MaD CaNeR: i hate all the 'games' that go along with stuff like this you know
ThE MaD CaNeR: i just want to get a straight answer from a girl, if shes down to fuck, shes down to fuck
kissmeimirish: i dont just fuck guys
ThE MaD CaNeR: so you like to 'make love'?
ThE MaD CaNeR: nothing is wrong with a one night stand, sex is fun, why not just do it ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: and if we have a connection, then maybe it wont be a one night stand
ThE MaD CaNeR:
kissmeimirish: i have done alot of them and now i just want more then just a good fuck
ThE MaD CaNeR: im more than good
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: i have the cock of a horse
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: well what about blowjobs, are you liberal about those?
kissmeimirish: i hate giving head
ThE MaD CaNeR: Would you let me give you head?
kissmeimirish:
ThE MaD CaNeR: well at least thats not a no, im getting somewhere here
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to see a pic of me naked
kissmeimirish: idk
ThE MaD CaNeR: if i send it to you, you need to promise not to show anyone
kissmeimirish: i dont show anyone pics that ppl send me
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, let me find it
ThE MaD CaNeR: ok?
kissmeimirish: sure
ThE MaD CaNeR wants to send file C:\Users\Mstrike\Pictures\Mike's Pics\photoshoot\final\47.jpg.
kissmeimirish received C:\Users\Mstrike\Pictures\Mike's Pics\photoshoot\final\47.jpg.
kissmeimirish:
ThE MaD CaNeR: you like?
kissmeimirish: sure... its an interesting pic
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea, i have more if you're interested.
ThE MaD CaNeR: more revealing ones
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: maybe later
ThE MaD CaNeR: that was just a sample, it was an appetizer, like an order of nachos before eating a mexican pizza
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, wow, i can tell youre not attracted to me. did i get too fat for you?
kissmeimirish: dont say that!
ThE MaD CaNeR: then what's the problem?
kissmeimirish: nothing
ThE MaD CaNeR: why would you not want to see my 8 inches of throbbing manhood? i thought you were attracted to me in health class? im seriously freaking out right now, im going to go do some more coke.
ThE MaD CaNeR: bye nice talking to you
kissmeimirish: umm ok...
ThE MaD CaNeR: cya at the bell
kissmeimirish: yup..
ThE MaD CaNeR: when are you working next
ThE MaD CaNeR: its not going to be weird now is it?
kissmeimirish: i work thursday night.. no it wont be weird
ThE MaD CaNeR: Alright so what are my chances with you.. honestly.
ThE MaD CaNeR: like whats the vibe youre feeling right now
kissmeimirish: i want to chill and then i will be able to tell
kissmeimirish: like chances to fuck me or be with me???
ThE MaD CaNeR: i want to fuck and then i will be able to tell
kissmeimirish: ok.....
ThE MaD CaNeR: OK, yes?
kissmeimirish: i dont know yet
ThE MaD CaNeR: Alright, i'll get you really drunk to make your decision easier
ThE MaD CaNeR: think you coul bring over like 10 hard shelled tacos too
kissmeimirish: idk
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, thats cool
ThE MaD CaNeR: k im going to bed, need to be up at 8 for a piss test
kissmeimirish: well text me sometime
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's your digitz
ThE MaD CaNeR: think you could get me some clean piss?
kissmeimirish: 555.555.5555 *edited for obvious reasons
ThE MaD CaNeR: if i come by in a couple hours
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: oh, yours is dirty?
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: Ill just offer some little kid 50 bucks to pee in a cup for me, that's what i usually do
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: i'll text you some time, btw i like no hair down there
ThE MaD CaNeR: just like how i dont like lettuce on my tacos
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: no hair alright?
kissmeimirish: i shave
ThE MaD CaNeR: k, good.
ThE MaD CaNeR: Night.
kissmeimirish: night
PART 2 [a couple nights later...]
Okay, before reading this you need to know some things:
Andrew is my friend, she originally IM'ed him the other night and started hitting on him, she is into really into him.
Dawn is this girl from our high school that was really popular. She is in no way attracted to women and would never associate with me.
ThE MaD CaNeR: hey
kissmeimirish: hey
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's poppin
kissmeimirish: nmu?
ThE MaD CaNeR: nothing, sorry about the other night, i was so hopped up on yayo it was ridiculous
kissmeimirish: oOo
ThE MaD CaNeR: you understand though right
kissmeimirish: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: i went to taco bell tonight but i didnt have enough money to get anything
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: spent all my money on hookers in dallas last week when i went there for to visit my grandma
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: you dont seem very talkative
ThE MaD CaNeR: im sorry if im bothering you
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill leave you alone
kissmeimirish: no its ok
kissmeimirish: i'm just talking to my other friend in Japan.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: oh yea, that's cool, do you know that you can buy used panties in vending machines over in japan?
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea those japs are sick sons of bitches, must be because of all the radiation ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: i had sex with a japanese girl once
ThE MaD CaNeR: her vagina was sideways, i actually had to turn my body 90 degrees in order to fit my dick in there.
ThE MaD CaNeR: fucking mutants
kissmeimirish: .....
ThE MaD CaNeR: sorry, too much information
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: you've done shrooms before, right?
kissmeimirish: yea i love shrooms lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: did you know that if you dip a taco in formaldehyde you get really fucked up if you eat it? it's like shrooms but the high is like 10x more potent. thats what im on right now since i dont have any yayo left.
kissmeimirish: lol really?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea, i recommend using a soft taco, the hard ones don't absorb the formaldehyde as well.
ThE MaD CaNeR: so i apologize if i say some weird things, im trippin balls
kissmeimirish: damn i REALLY wanna play!
kissmeimirish: oops
ThE MaD CaNeR: you wanna play w/ me?
kissmeimirish: not you
kissmeimirish: i was talking about a game
ThE MaD CaNeR: what kind of game
ThE MaD CaNeR: k Im just going to go, its obvious you're not into me and you'd rather talk to your friend, its seriously cool its no problem
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill just spray some WD40 all over my balls and masturbate alone in my sister's room like i do every night, its not your fault at all
kissmeimirish: ...
ThE MaD CaNeR: ya know right when i thought i found someone who i could have a connection with
ThE MaD CaNeR: i mean were perfect for each other
kissmeimirish: how though?
ThE MaD CaNeR: just the vibe i was feeling last night, i mean, you liked me in high school and stuff... I just thought ya know... we could make up for lost time.
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe we had something
ThE MaD CaNeR: i even had a dream last night that we got married at taco bell and instead of you throwing a bouquet of flowers you threw a bag of cinnamon twists
kissmeimirish: ya never know though..
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: ok..
ThE MaD CaNeR: it was just a dumb dream don't be freaked out or anything
ThE MaD CaNeR: i don't want to get married until i'm at least 30 lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: but when I do i definitely want it to be catered by taco bell, or even better, have it at a taco bell.
ThE MaD CaNeR: but honestly, you should come over and get fucked up with me this weekend.
kissmeimirish: nope but i'm sorry i wont be here this weekend
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah
ThE MaD CaNeR: well next one, or the one after that, or the one after that.
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: how would you feel if andrew came too, and we just got really fucked up.
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you be alright with a potential threesome?
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill even fuck him for a bit and let you watch if youre into that, i dont know if you are or not
kissmeimirish: ...
ThE MaD CaNeR: hey im just saying, some girls think thats hot
ThE MaD CaNeR: if you dont, thats cool, just pretend i didnt say anything
kissmeimirish: u into that??
ThE MaD CaNeR: Only if the girl is into it
kissmeimirish: oOo
ThE MaD CaNeR: andrew and I have had a lot of threesomes with girls from our high school.. remember dawn wegner??? yea...
ThE MaD CaNeR: it gets me off knowing that the girl is getting off ya know
kissmeimirish: doesnt he have a gf?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea but right now theyre kind of on and off
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: so would you be down for that?
kissmeimirish: maybe..
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: if he is
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea he is
kissmeimirish: then have him tell me.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: okay.
ThE MaD CaNeR: who do you want to be the pitcher?
kissmeimirish: huh?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Like, do you want me to put it in andrews ass or should he put it in mine?
kissmeimirish: dont matter.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you masturbate while we do it?
kissmeimirish: i guess
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright that works, thats cool, as long as youre getting off I dont feel like its gay ya know
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe if you could bring some condiments, like some lettuce, tomatos, sour cream and put it on your vagina, turn it into a chalupa? or is that going too far.
kissmeimirish: yes
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, thats fine, not everyone is into food play
ThE MaD CaNeR: so alright, after i ravage his butthole, what happens next? would you be cool with him doing you while I do him from behind?
ThE MaD CaNeR: or do you just want it to be 1 on 1, like take turns.
kissmeimirish: dont matter
ThE MaD CaNeR: you still there babe?
kissmeimirish: yea i'm here
ThE MaD CaNeR: you pullin my chain or what
kissmeimirish: no i'm not pullin ur chain..
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright
ThE MaD CaNeR: you just dont seem interested thats all, like youre just entertaining me by agreeing with all the scenerios i lay out for you
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, i guess andrew and I will take our services elsewhere, theres a hot manager at mcdonalds who wants us, she said we can shove french fries in her butt and mush them all up in there with our dicks. i know its sick to you but thats the kinda shit we're into.
ThE MaD CaNeR: we would just do it straight up normal with you though but you dont seem like you're really down
kissmeimirish: i am
ThE MaD CaNeR: anything in particular youd want to do with us?
ThE MaD CaNeR: any fantasies?
kissmeimirish: not really.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to watch me lick my dogs butthole or something?
kissmeimirish: i already had my fanticy come true.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: which was?
kissmeimirish: 1 guy and 1 girl.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: Oooh
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: Details details!
kissmeimirish: did u know i'm bi?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Yea, well, I know a couple bi girls.
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: Dawn is bi.
kissmeimirish: well i would give you details but that is a sore subjest..
kissmeimirish: oh really?>
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
kisrmeimirish: wow
ThE MaD CaNeR: I saw her stick her entire arm in brooke's vagina, like literally
ThE MaD CaNeR: but yea, well, i could probably talk to dawn too if youd like, shes always down for chompin on some rug
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: is andrew online now?
ThE MaD CaNeR: He just went to bed.
kissmeimirish: o ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: andrews and I have an ultimate fantasy that has yet to be fulfilled.
ThE MaD CaNeR: are you on the pill?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah fuck, well because our fantasy includes him jizzing in a girls vagina and her crouching over my face, letting it drip into my mouth
ThE MaD CaNeR: think we could use your butt instead or is that off limits?
kissmeimirish: idk... it depends on my mood and how i feel
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright. thats fine, i plan on having lots of everclear so hopefully youll be loose enough
ThE MaD CaNeR: so theres no chance of having tacos involved in this whatsoever?
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe just like put a bean burrito in between your butt cheeks and have me eat it out from there without using my hands?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Hello?
kissmeimirish: nope sorry babe..
kissmeimirish: brb gonna go smoke..
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright well hold on
ThE MaD CaNeR: I think im gonna hit the sack.
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, ill talk to andrew, i know he'll be down for this.
ThE MaD CaNeR: good night
ThE MaD CaNeR: gonna say good night to me?
kissmeimirish: sorry i went out to smoke up quick.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: hehe thats bad for your lungs
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: you can get cancer from that shit, i had cancer you know
kissmeimirish: from pot?
ThE MaD CaNeR: no
ThE MaD CaNeR: testicular cancer, i have one ball now.
ThE MaD CaNeR: it fits great into various bodily orifices
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: girls say its cute though
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: youll see it soon enough if you play your cards right
kissmeimirish: i'm so fucked up right now.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: what are you on?
kissmeimirish: pot
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah
kissmeimirish: i said i just went outside to smoke up
ThE MaD CaNeR: ooh i thought it was cigs
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to send me a pic of your boobs or something
kissmeimirish wants to directly connect.
kissmeimirish is now directly connected.
kissmeimirish: u have to promise not to show anyone this ok??
ThE MaD CaNeR: I promise
(SENDS FULL NUDE PICTURE)
ThE MaD CaNeR: Well, you weren't lying, you did lose some weight.
kissmeimirish: hehe thanks
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright im goin to bed.
kissmeimirish: k remember, don't show anyone ok?
ThE MaD CaNeR: you got it, I'm not even going to save it. no worries. night.
kissmeimirish: night
Minor Update:
My bud Andrew (SoulAuctioneer of Aurora fame) was talking to her and asked her for n00dz. She said she didn't have her camera but she could send one to him via text message. Of course he didn't want her to have his actual phone number so he gave him Fonzie's:
Not Work Safe
Today she IM'ed me for the first time in a while:
kissmeimirish: hi
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's happein
kissmeimirish: nothin much.. i'm sick..
kissmeimirish: it sucks
ThE MaD CaNeR: Oh man, you haven't been eating the tomatoes at taco bell have you?
kissmeimirish: no lol
kissmeimirish: hey why didnt you accept my friend request
ThE MaD CaNeR: I added you as a friend on facebook but I don't think we're friends anymore. I think my girlfriend got pissed because I was talking to you and logged on my account and deleted you. She's the jealous type
kissmeimirish: i didn't know you had a gf..
ThE MaD CaNeR: well
ThE MaD CaNeR: We're in an open relationship sort of
ThE MaD CaNeR: but lately she's been getting all jealous
ThE MaD CaNeR: it's annoying
kissmeimirish: oOo
kissmeimirish: do i know her?
ThE MaD CaNeR: I don't think so
ThE MaD CaNeR: I saw on facebook that you're tired of boys dicking you around
ThE MaD CaNeR: I hope you weren't talking about me :[
kissmeimirish: nooooo
kissmeimirish: not at all
ThE MaD CaNeR: or Andrew? he was worried too.
kissmeimirish: nope neither of you
ThE MaD CaNeR: k cool
ThE MaD CaNeR: lol I had the craziest weekend with andrew
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: you wouldnt believe how drunk dawn gets
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: we both had to go to the bathroom
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she popped a squat in the bathtub, and i just going to go in the toilet ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she told me "mike, just piss all over my face"... so i did lol. she was so fucking drunk.
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: it was clear because I drank like 17 natty ices though, but still, piss is piss
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: youre not into water sports right?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: and food play?
kissmeimirish: whipped cream and chocolate syrup.. but thats about it..
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you wear your taco bell uniform and let me or andrew screw you in the ass?
kissmeimirish: no
ThE MaD CaNeR: no to wearing the uniform or no to screwing in the ass?
kissmeimirish: the uniform
kissmeimirish: i feel ugly in it
ThE MaD CaNeR: No way! its my fantasy to do a girl (or guy) wearing a uniform from a fast food restaurant.
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: and taco bell is my favorite fast food restaurant.. so yea.. seriously every time i go through a drive through I have a raging erection.
ThE MaD CaNeR: if you look next time youll see it
kissmeimirish: lol ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: so how about it.. you wear the uniform while andrew fucks you from behind.. i can be in the corner masturbating while eating a gordita crunch? would that be cool?
kissmeimirish: i guess thatb ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: thats not too weird
ThE MaD CaNeR: you should see the shit weve done with our friend who works at mcdonalds
ThE MaD CaNeR: she literally fit 15 chicken nuggets into her vagina
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she was able to shoot them out like flying projectiles into andrews mouth
kissmeimirish signed off at 2:50:13 PM.
She didn't block me, maybe she had a family emergency or something and had to go
UPDATED! Scroll down for Part 2!
She went to high school with me. I have no idea how this conversation lasted so long. Also, feel free to give me some ideas on what to do next when she inevitably IM's me tomorrow.
The conversation:
ThE MaD CaNeR: can you make me some tacos
kissmeimirish: who is this?
ThE MaD CaNeR: MIKE ROSS
kissmeimirish: oOo
kissmeimirish: how you get my sn? lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: magic
kissmeimirish: facebook?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yes
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: duh
ThE MaD CaNeR: so tell me some classified information
kissmeimirish: like what?
ThE MaD CaNeR: does anyone spit/jizz/bleed/ or excrete any other bodily fluid into any of the food products at taco bell?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: K, good. Now I can eat there with 100 percent confidence.
kissmeimirish: ok
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: u know i'm a manager now? lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: holy shit sweet
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: so when you gonna come visit me?
ThE MaD CaNeR: at taco bell or are you propositioning me for sex
ThE MaD CaNeR: do you do coke
kissmeimirish: yes i do when it is offered to me.. i never pay for my drugs
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea same, but lately i've been getting a little bit too much offered to me you know what i mean
ThE MaD CaNeR: my parents made me go to a half-way house
ThE MaD CaNeR: and all i want is taco bell
kissmeimirish: aw
kissmeimirish: well i'm not there.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: could you just call in an order
ThE MaD CaNeR: and then i can just drive by and say that im your boyfriend or something and that I'm here to pick it up
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: they all know i'm single hun
ThE MaD CaNeR: say im your boy toy
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: and that you wanna hook me up with some free tacos
kissmeimirish: no my gm is there now
ThE MaD CaNeR: fuck
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: like i have the shakes
kissmeimirish: aw
ThE MaD CaNeR: and i dont think its from the coke, its from lack of chalupas
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: have you seen me since school?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea at the drive through window
kissmeimirish: i look different now then i did in school....
ThE MaD CaNeR: is that so
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: i lost alot of weight and i'm alot more girly..
ThE MaD CaNeR: do you have any pics
kissmeimirish: on facebook i do
ThE MaD CaNeR: no, im talking about, other kinds of pics
kissmeimirish: no.. lol
kissmeimirish: ur bad
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you do a line of coke off my boner
kissmeimirish: wow
ThE MaD CaNeR: im sorry im being a little too forward
kissmeimirish: its kinda weird cuz i have know you like forever and idk if it is you or the coke taslking...
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, well, I apologize.
kissmeimirish: its ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: i just love taco bell so i think i might be associating you with tacos which is why im think im so attracted to you right now
ThE MaD CaNeR: im joking
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: nah i always thought you were good looking in high school
ThE MaD CaNeR: i always liked my woman thick which is funny because i was so skinny ya know
kissmeimirish: and you said nothin?????
ThE MaD CaNeR: Yea I was shy. I still am. but when Im on coke and taco bell I say whats on my mind
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: i liked you when you sat in front of me in health class.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah cool
kissmeimirish: yup
kissmeimirish: i added you on facebook
ThE MaD CaNeR: what are you doing tomorrow
kissmeimirish: i have a management class down by philly from 9 to 5 then.. nothin
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to get a bottle of vodka and see where it goes?
kissmeimirish: lol..
kissmeimirish: i would but i have to do the same thing on wed..
ThE MaD CaNeR: cmon
ThE MaD CaNeR: we can get some free tacos, drink a little bit
ThE MaD CaNeR: i do this really funny thing where i put my junk inside a burrito
ThE MaD CaNeR: ive had girls eat it off before lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: im into kinky stuff like that
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: yes or no. are you into me
ThE MaD CaNeR: i hate all the 'games' that go along with stuff like this you know
ThE MaD CaNeR: i just want to get a straight answer from a girl, if shes down to fuck, shes down to fuck
kissmeimirish: i dont just fuck guys
ThE MaD CaNeR: so you like to 'make love'?
ThE MaD CaNeR: nothing is wrong with a one night stand, sex is fun, why not just do it ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: and if we have a connection, then maybe it wont be a one night stand
ThE MaD CaNeR:
kissmeimirish: i have done alot of them and now i just want more then just a good fuck
ThE MaD CaNeR: im more than good
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: i have the cock of a horse
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: well what about blowjobs, are you liberal about those?
kissmeimirish: i hate giving head
ThE MaD CaNeR: Would you let me give you head?
kissmeimirish:
ThE MaD CaNeR: well at least thats not a no, im getting somewhere here
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to see a pic of me naked
kissmeimirish: idk
ThE MaD CaNeR: if i send it to you, you need to promise not to show anyone
kissmeimirish: i dont show anyone pics that ppl send me
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, let me find it
ThE MaD CaNeR: ok?
kissmeimirish: sure
ThE MaD CaNeR wants to send file C:\Users\Mstrike\Pictures\Mike's Pics\photoshoot\final\47.jpg.
kissmeimirish received C:\Users\Mstrike\Pictures\Mike's Pics\photoshoot\final\47.jpg.
kissmeimirish:
ThE MaD CaNeR: you like?
kissmeimirish: sure... its an interesting pic
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea, i have more if you're interested.
ThE MaD CaNeR: more revealing ones
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: maybe later
ThE MaD CaNeR: that was just a sample, it was an appetizer, like an order of nachos before eating a mexican pizza
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, wow, i can tell youre not attracted to me. did i get too fat for you?
kissmeimirish: dont say that!
ThE MaD CaNeR: then what's the problem?
kissmeimirish: nothing
ThE MaD CaNeR: why would you not want to see my 8 inches of throbbing manhood? i thought you were attracted to me in health class? im seriously freaking out right now, im going to go do some more coke.
ThE MaD CaNeR: bye nice talking to you
kissmeimirish: umm ok...
ThE MaD CaNeR: cya at the bell
kissmeimirish: yup..
ThE MaD CaNeR: when are you working next
ThE MaD CaNeR: its not going to be weird now is it?
kissmeimirish: i work thursday night.. no it wont be weird
ThE MaD CaNeR: Alright so what are my chances with you.. honestly.
ThE MaD CaNeR: like whats the vibe youre feeling right now
kissmeimirish: i want to chill and then i will be able to tell
kissmeimirish: like chances to fuck me or be with me???
ThE MaD CaNeR: i want to fuck and then i will be able to tell
kissmeimirish: ok.....
ThE MaD CaNeR: OK, yes?
kissmeimirish: i dont know yet
ThE MaD CaNeR: Alright, i'll get you really drunk to make your decision easier
ThE MaD CaNeR: think you coul bring over like 10 hard shelled tacos too
kissmeimirish: idk
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, thats cool
ThE MaD CaNeR: k im going to bed, need to be up at 8 for a piss test
kissmeimirish: well text me sometime
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's your digitz
ThE MaD CaNeR: think you could get me some clean piss?
kissmeimirish: 555.555.5555 *edited for obvious reasons
ThE MaD CaNeR: if i come by in a couple hours
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: oh, yours is dirty?
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: Ill just offer some little kid 50 bucks to pee in a cup for me, that's what i usually do
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: i'll text you some time, btw i like no hair down there
ThE MaD CaNeR: just like how i dont like lettuce on my tacos
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: no hair alright?
kissmeimirish: i shave
ThE MaD CaNeR: k, good.
ThE MaD CaNeR: Night.
kissmeimirish: night
PART 2 [a couple nights later...]
Okay, before reading this you need to know some things:
Andrew is my friend, she originally IM'ed him the other night and started hitting on him, she is into really into him.
Dawn is this girl from our high school that was really popular. She is in no way attracted to women and would never associate with me.
ThE MaD CaNeR: hey
kissmeimirish: hey
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's poppin
kissmeimirish: nmu?
ThE MaD CaNeR: nothing, sorry about the other night, i was so hopped up on yayo it was ridiculous
kissmeimirish: oOo
ThE MaD CaNeR: you understand though right
kissmeimirish: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: i went to taco bell tonight but i didnt have enough money to get anything
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: spent all my money on hookers in dallas last week when i went there for to visit my grandma
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: you dont seem very talkative
ThE MaD CaNeR: im sorry if im bothering you
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill leave you alone
kissmeimirish: no its ok
kissmeimirish: i'm just talking to my other friend in Japan.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: oh yea, that's cool, do you know that you can buy used panties in vending machines over in japan?
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea those japs are sick sons of bitches, must be because of all the radiation ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: i had sex with a japanese girl once
ThE MaD CaNeR: her vagina was sideways, i actually had to turn my body 90 degrees in order to fit my dick in there.
ThE MaD CaNeR: fucking mutants
kissmeimirish: .....
ThE MaD CaNeR: sorry, too much information
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: you've done shrooms before, right?
kissmeimirish: yea i love shrooms lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: did you know that if you dip a taco in formaldehyde you get really fucked up if you eat it? it's like shrooms but the high is like 10x more potent. thats what im on right now since i dont have any yayo left.
kissmeimirish: lol really?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea, i recommend using a soft taco, the hard ones don't absorb the formaldehyde as well.
ThE MaD CaNeR: so i apologize if i say some weird things, im trippin balls
kissmeimirish: damn i REALLY wanna play!
kissmeimirish: oops
ThE MaD CaNeR: you wanna play w/ me?
kissmeimirish: not you
kissmeimirish: i was talking about a game
ThE MaD CaNeR: what kind of game
ThE MaD CaNeR: k Im just going to go, its obvious you're not into me and you'd rather talk to your friend, its seriously cool its no problem
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill just spray some WD40 all over my balls and masturbate alone in my sister's room like i do every night, its not your fault at all
kissmeimirish: ...
ThE MaD CaNeR: ya know right when i thought i found someone who i could have a connection with
ThE MaD CaNeR: i mean were perfect for each other
kissmeimirish: how though?
ThE MaD CaNeR: just the vibe i was feeling last night, i mean, you liked me in high school and stuff... I just thought ya know... we could make up for lost time.
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe we had something
ThE MaD CaNeR: i even had a dream last night that we got married at taco bell and instead of you throwing a bouquet of flowers you threw a bag of cinnamon twists
kissmeimirish: ya never know though..
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: ok..
ThE MaD CaNeR: it was just a dumb dream don't be freaked out or anything
ThE MaD CaNeR: i don't want to get married until i'm at least 30 lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: but when I do i definitely want it to be catered by taco bell, or even better, have it at a taco bell.
ThE MaD CaNeR: but honestly, you should come over and get fucked up with me this weekend.
kissmeimirish: nope but i'm sorry i wont be here this weekend
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah
ThE MaD CaNeR: well next one, or the one after that, or the one after that.
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: how would you feel if andrew came too, and we just got really fucked up.
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you be alright with a potential threesome?
ThE MaD CaNeR: ill even fuck him for a bit and let you watch if youre into that, i dont know if you are or not
kissmeimirish: ...
ThE MaD CaNeR: hey im just saying, some girls think thats hot
ThE MaD CaNeR: if you dont, thats cool, just pretend i didnt say anything
kissmeimirish: u into that??
ThE MaD CaNeR: Only if the girl is into it
kissmeimirish: oOo
ThE MaD CaNeR: andrew and I have had a lot of threesomes with girls from our high school.. remember dawn wegner??? yea...
ThE MaD CaNeR: it gets me off knowing that the girl is getting off ya know
kissmeimirish: doesnt he have a gf?
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea but right now theyre kind of on and off
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: so would you be down for that?
kissmeimirish: maybe..
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: if he is
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea he is
kissmeimirish: then have him tell me.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: okay.
ThE MaD CaNeR: who do you want to be the pitcher?
kissmeimirish: huh?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Like, do you want me to put it in andrews ass or should he put it in mine?
kissmeimirish: dont matter.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you masturbate while we do it?
kissmeimirish: i guess
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright that works, thats cool, as long as youre getting off I dont feel like its gay ya know
kissmeimirish: o
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe if you could bring some condiments, like some lettuce, tomatos, sour cream and put it on your vagina, turn it into a chalupa? or is that going too far.
kissmeimirish: yes
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, thats fine, not everyone is into food play
ThE MaD CaNeR: so alright, after i ravage his butthole, what happens next? would you be cool with him doing you while I do him from behind?
ThE MaD CaNeR: or do you just want it to be 1 on 1, like take turns.
kissmeimirish: dont matter
ThE MaD CaNeR: you still there babe?
kissmeimirish: yea i'm here
ThE MaD CaNeR: you pullin my chain or what
kissmeimirish: no i'm not pullin ur chain..
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright
ThE MaD CaNeR: you just dont seem interested thats all, like youre just entertaining me by agreeing with all the scenerios i lay out for you
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, i guess andrew and I will take our services elsewhere, theres a hot manager at mcdonalds who wants us, she said we can shove french fries in her butt and mush them all up in there with our dicks. i know its sick to you but thats the kinda shit we're into.
ThE MaD CaNeR: we would just do it straight up normal with you though but you dont seem like you're really down
kissmeimirish: i am
ThE MaD CaNeR: anything in particular youd want to do with us?
ThE MaD CaNeR: any fantasies?
kissmeimirish: not really.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to watch me lick my dogs butthole or something?
kissmeimirish: i already had my fanticy come true.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: which was?
kissmeimirish: 1 guy and 1 girl.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: Oooh
kissmeimirish: yup
ThE MaD CaNeR: Details details!
kissmeimirish: did u know i'm bi?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Yea, well, I know a couple bi girls.
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: Dawn is bi.
kissmeimirish: well i would give you details but that is a sore subjest..
kissmeimirish: oh really?>
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
kisrmeimirish: wow
ThE MaD CaNeR: I saw her stick her entire arm in brooke's vagina, like literally
ThE MaD CaNeR: but yea, well, i could probably talk to dawn too if youd like, shes always down for chompin on some rug
kissmeimirish: lol
kissmeimirish: is andrew online now?
ThE MaD CaNeR: He just went to bed.
kissmeimirish: o ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: andrews and I have an ultimate fantasy that has yet to be fulfilled.
ThE MaD CaNeR: are you on the pill?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah fuck, well because our fantasy includes him jizzing in a girls vagina and her crouching over my face, letting it drip into my mouth
ThE MaD CaNeR: think we could use your butt instead or is that off limits?
kissmeimirish: idk... it depends on my mood and how i feel
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright. thats fine, i plan on having lots of everclear so hopefully youll be loose enough
ThE MaD CaNeR: so theres no chance of having tacos involved in this whatsoever?
ThE MaD CaNeR: maybe just like put a bean burrito in between your butt cheeks and have me eat it out from there without using my hands?
ThE MaD CaNeR: Hello?
kissmeimirish: nope sorry babe..
kissmeimirish: brb gonna go smoke..
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright well hold on
ThE MaD CaNeR: I think im gonna hit the sack.
kissmeimirish: ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright, ill talk to andrew, i know he'll be down for this.
ThE MaD CaNeR: good night
ThE MaD CaNeR: gonna say good night to me?
kissmeimirish: sorry i went out to smoke up quick.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: hehe thats bad for your lungs
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: you can get cancer from that shit, i had cancer you know
kissmeimirish: from pot?
ThE MaD CaNeR: no
ThE MaD CaNeR: testicular cancer, i have one ball now.
ThE MaD CaNeR: it fits great into various bodily orifices
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: girls say its cute though
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: youll see it soon enough if you play your cards right
kissmeimirish: i'm so fucked up right now.. lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: what are you on?
kissmeimirish: pot
ThE MaD CaNeR: ah
kissmeimirish: i said i just went outside to smoke up
ThE MaD CaNeR: ooh i thought it was cigs
ThE MaD CaNeR: want to send me a pic of your boobs or something
kissmeimirish wants to directly connect.
kissmeimirish is now directly connected.
kissmeimirish: u have to promise not to show anyone this ok??
ThE MaD CaNeR: I promise
(SENDS FULL NUDE PICTURE)
ThE MaD CaNeR: Well, you weren't lying, you did lose some weight.
kissmeimirish: hehe thanks
ThE MaD CaNeR: alright im goin to bed.
kissmeimirish: k remember, don't show anyone ok?
ThE MaD CaNeR: you got it, I'm not even going to save it. no worries. night.
kissmeimirish: night
Minor Update:
My bud Andrew (SoulAuctioneer of Aurora fame) was talking to her and asked her for n00dz. She said she didn't have her camera but she could send one to him via text message. Of course he didn't want her to have his actual phone number so he gave him Fonzie's:
Not Work Safe
Today she IM'ed me for the first time in a while:
kissmeimirish: hi
ThE MaD CaNeR: what's happein
kissmeimirish: nothin much.. i'm sick..
kissmeimirish: it sucks
ThE MaD CaNeR: Oh man, you haven't been eating the tomatoes at taco bell have you?
kissmeimirish: no lol
kissmeimirish: hey why didnt you accept my friend request
ThE MaD CaNeR: I added you as a friend on facebook but I don't think we're friends anymore. I think my girlfriend got pissed because I was talking to you and logged on my account and deleted you. She's the jealous type
kissmeimirish: i didn't know you had a gf..
ThE MaD CaNeR: well
ThE MaD CaNeR: We're in an open relationship sort of
ThE MaD CaNeR: but lately she's been getting all jealous
ThE MaD CaNeR: it's annoying
kissmeimirish: oOo
kissmeimirish: do i know her?
ThE MaD CaNeR: I don't think so
ThE MaD CaNeR: I saw on facebook that you're tired of boys dicking you around
ThE MaD CaNeR: I hope you weren't talking about me :[
kissmeimirish: nooooo
kissmeimirish: not at all
ThE MaD CaNeR: or Andrew? he was worried too.
kissmeimirish: nope neither of you
ThE MaD CaNeR: k cool
ThE MaD CaNeR: lol I had the craziest weekend with andrew
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: you wouldnt believe how drunk dawn gets
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: we both had to go to the bathroom
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she popped a squat in the bathtub, and i just going to go in the toilet ya know
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she told me "mike, just piss all over my face"... so i did lol. she was so fucking drunk.
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: yea
ThE MaD CaNeR: it was clear because I drank like 17 natty ices though, but still, piss is piss
kissmeimirish: lol
ThE MaD CaNeR: youre not into water sports right?
kissmeimirish: nope
ThE MaD CaNeR: and food play?
kissmeimirish: whipped cream and chocolate syrup.. but thats about it..
ThE MaD CaNeR: would you wear your taco bell uniform and let me or andrew screw you in the ass?
kissmeimirish: no
ThE MaD CaNeR: no to wearing the uniform or no to screwing in the ass?
kissmeimirish: the uniform
kissmeimirish: i feel ugly in it
ThE MaD CaNeR: No way! its my fantasy to do a girl (or guy) wearing a uniform from a fast food restaurant.
kissmeimirish: o
ThE MaD CaNeR: and taco bell is my favorite fast food restaurant.. so yea.. seriously every time i go through a drive through I have a raging erection.
ThE MaD CaNeR: if you look next time youll see it
kissmeimirish: lol ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: so how about it.. you wear the uniform while andrew fucks you from behind.. i can be in the corner masturbating while eating a gordita crunch? would that be cool?
kissmeimirish: i guess thatb ok
ThE MaD CaNeR: thats not too weird
ThE MaD CaNeR: you should see the shit weve done with our friend who works at mcdonalds
ThE MaD CaNeR: she literally fit 15 chicken nuggets into her vagina
kissmeimirish: ew
ThE MaD CaNeR: and she was able to shoot them out like flying projectiles into andrews mouth
kissmeimirish signed off at 2:50:13 PM.
She didn't block me, maybe she had a family emergency or something and had to go
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