Scoobysnack vs. DrJonez

K

Kurayami

Banned
Who would win this battle? They are natural enemies, so it may one day happen.

The contenders:

Scoobysnack
Pros:
-Many years of experience playing army with airsoft toys
-Not morbidly obese
-Has actually seen the sun
-Low intelligence + bad temper = retard strength

Cons:
-Substance abuse problem (may not be able to stand)
-Easy to outwit
-Incredibly incoherent--may not understand the rules of the fight

DrJonez
Pros:
-An unfathomable amount of nerd angst to draw upon. With each passing year of virginity and exclusion, his nerd rage grows.
-Outweighs Scooby by at least 200lbs
-8" layer of fat helps deflect blows
-Natural layer of skingrease makes it impossible to hold onto

Cons:
-Morbidly obese. He's only good for one or two punches before collapse (unless nerd rage is active)
-Has never seen the sun and might be frightened by it
-Severely emotionally unstable--as much a chance of collapsing into a heap and crying as actually fighting


Who wins?

My analysis:

Scooby would win in all but the following scenarios:
-He shows up to the fight drunk. Jonez will just sit on him until his lungs explode.
-Jonez' impotent nerd rage kicks into overdrive. He will most likely die from the physical exertion, but he will win the fight.


The real X factor in my mind is whether or not Scooby's retard strength is capable of matching Jonez' impotent nerd rage. That could make for a very close fight in which Scooby's airsoft experience or Jonez' protective layer of grease could make all the difference.
 
are you going to point out how much time you don't spend on this forum in this thread as well?
 
if drjonez doesn't score a knock-out blow in the first round, i don't think he has the stamina to last for the rest of the fight
 
scooby looses when jonez falls trying to t-bag scooby (like any real friend should) and suffocates him
 
Kurayami said:
Who wins?

My analysis:

Scooby would win in all but the following scenarios:
-He shows up to the fight drunk. Jonez will just sit on him until his lungs explode.
Click to expand...

That scenario is highly likely. You should also establish the rules of the fight in case Scoobs wants to bring his airsoft army in to help take down the beast. Jonez may also want to employ the assistance of Mav to for the Fat Friends Fighting Faggots or some shit like that.
 
Oh, hello intarweb friends. I have indeed seen the sun, as it is very sunny out today! I just spent the past few hours loading a truck full of firewood, and then unloading it again halfway across town. It was nice to get some exercise!

Now, I'm going to have a glass of water, email my boss, and then have a shower. Kurayami, I'll be sure to think about you, and only you, while I'm in there all wet and naked. :brows:
 
hey kura doesnt scooby make like 2x/year that you do in income and have a wife? How do these facts make you feel? Knowing that you are going to die alone in the bunker (your mothers basement) similar to the way hitler went out?
 
DrJonez said:
Oh, hello intarweb friends. I have indeed seen the sun, as it is very sunny out today! I just spent the past few hours loading a truck full of firewood, and then unloading it again halfway across town. It was nice to get some exercise!

Now, I'm going to have a glass of water, email my boss, and then have a shower. Kurayami, I'll be sure to think about you, and only you, while I'm in there all wet and naked. :brows:
Click to expand...


:lies:

It's summer time and unless you live in the southern hemisphere or way way in the north there is no need for firewood.
 
ResolvE said:
hey kura doesnt scooby make like 2x/year that you do in income and have a wife? How do these facts make you feel? Knowing that you are going to die alone in the bunker (your mothers basement) similar to the way hitler went out?
Click to expand...
Did Scooby get you a job at his help desk? You sound a lot like Mael. I wish I could be in the $7.50/hour brigade. :(

PS: Scooby is abusive and beats his wife.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top