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JustinCase
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Old
81 - 06-12-2009, 10:10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Icey View Post

And the obligatory "I've had sex with my wife" that you all knew was coming since we were both virgins on our wedding day.

I cant even make fun of you for that, pretty impressive
 
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Icey
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Old
82 - 06-12-2009, 10:15
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Oh come on now, really? You can't make fun of me for that? Really? What if I throw up the softball that we were both virgins because we're hardcore Catholics that didn't have sex because we thought it violated a sacred bond meant only for married people.... and out of fear that a man in the sky would be angry?
 
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Seanpr123
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Old
83 - 06-12-2009, 10:16
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Fell out of a tree and fractured 2 vertebrae, and had a rope wrapped around my arm and got a seriously nasty burn from it.

Driven a motorcycle at about 155mph (not really that special)

A few weeks ago I had sex everyday for 2 weeks. Not the easiest task in the world.
 
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Icey
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Old
84 - 06-12-2009, 10:17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seanpr123 View Post
A few weeks ago I had sex everyday for 2 weeks. Not the easiest task in the world.
Uh... yeah it is.

Unless you're like over 50 or something in which case I'd agree.
 
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telos
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Old
85 - 06-12-2009, 10:19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seanpr123 View Post
A few weeks ago I had sex everyday for 2 weeks. Not the easiest task in the world.

virgin....


:P
 
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Lobster
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Old
86 - 06-12-2009, 10:21
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Translated OP into vietnamese:

Tôi ****ed này r***7897;ng v***7899;i gi***7843; **** kho***7843;ng m***7897;t n***259;m. M***7897;t bu***7893;i sáng sau m***7897;t ***273;êm b***7849;n drunken sex cùng cô woke up c***7911;a cô ***273;ă ***273;***432;***7907;c busted trái boob. B***7843;o hi***7875;m b***7843;o hi***7875;m c***7911;a cô ***7845;y và cô ***7845;y m***7899;i nh***7853;n ***273;***432;***7907;c thi***7871;t l***7853;p trong vài ngày t***7899;i.
 
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JustinCase
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Old
87 - 06-12-2009, 10:22
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I've never had sex 14 days in a row
 
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HypnosisFX
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Old
88 - 06-12-2009, 10:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orestes View Post
I hijacked a three wheeler and drove it out to the middle of the woods to have sex with a steamroller once
 
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SimoHayha
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Old
89 - 06-12-2009, 10:33
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Partied hardcore (drugs) with Nashville *****. Good times.
 
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The Pumpkin King
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Old
90 - 06-12-2009, 10:36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fool View Post
Had my penis slammed in a door.
True story. It was pretty ****ed up...

I've never seen anyone in so much pain in my life.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HypnosisFX View Post
Why the hell is that funny?

Ok, I ****ed a monkey while swinging from a tree, drinking coffee, and smoking a blunt, only to throw the monkey away because I found another hotter monkey, which I proceeded to **** while swinging on a vine, then I tossed the other monkey away, let go of my vine, flipped in the air, landed on a steam roller, ****ed that until it couldn't handle anymore than it screamed and alerted the cops, which came running to see what was happening and upon seeing me, they all became very horny and we had one great big giant orgy until all of their eyes popped out of their sockets.

I could write a longer 3 page version if you want... Just let me know...
 
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telos
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Old
91 - 06-12-2009, 10:38
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it was funny because it built up you tard.

your story sucked.
 
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FOURSTAR
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Old
92 - 06-12-2009, 10:40
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i walked 12 miles drunk for 6.5 hours after my ex stole my car and left me in the middle of nowhere

i called for a forum invasion and got fired from work, prolly a first for that
 
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reZolut
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Old
93 - 06-12-2009, 10:46
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if i wasn't in the middle of a paper i would fill this thread.
 
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Eggi
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Old
94 - 06-12-2009, 10:48
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i once snuck into an area of china closed off to westerners by overpaying a tibetan driver that looked like the fonz and had a rearview mirror that doubled as a video screen for his dvd player. i then went for a hike and hung out with monks and drank yak butter tea.
 
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Last edited by Eggi; 06-12-2009 at 11:00..
Rev. Zen
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Old
95 - 06-12-2009, 10:51
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I have partied with Scotty Moore & George Kline (Elvis Presley's original guitarist and Elvis Presley's close friend, respectively).

I went skydiving for the first time without being tethered to an instructor.

I swam across the waterway down in Wrightsville Beach, NC (across from what used to be called Wally's and Pussers) with one arm immobilized.

I was jailed for crashing a ballet and being drunk and loud. I had tried to get away, but the female cop was strong as hell and I was drunk....drunk enough to be whoopin' and hollerin' at a ballet for pete's sake. My good friend was able to get away due to my "delay and obstructing an officer".

I was then sentenced to do community service and ironically ended up doing my community service for the set designer for the theater where the ballet was being performed. I actually ditched the last few hours of Community Service because I knew I would never see the guy ever again. I ended up trying out for the musical "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" and getting a part (me and the guy that crashed the ballet with me decided to try and pick
up chicks by becoming Thespians). The set designer guy from the ballet incident (as I like to call it) ends up doing the set for this musical lol. I get the stink-eye from him. My first line in the musical was, "I'm coming! I'm coming! Thank you! Thank you, Jesus!"
 
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Seanpr123
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Old
96 - 06-12-2009, 10:53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Icey View Post
Uh... yeah it is.

Unless you're like over 50 or something in which case I'd agree.
not for me num nuts; to get the girl to go along with it.
 
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Icey
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Old
97 - 06-12-2009, 10:57
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Try not having sex until you're 22 and married, the same goes for your wife and then see what happens after you finally DO get married.

Let I said, it's not tough.
 
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JustinCase
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Old
98 - 06-12-2009, 10:59
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god I'm horny right now
 
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Data
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Old
99 - 06-12-2009, 11:00
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LouCypher View Post
Who was Auburn playing?
I honestly can't remember. I want to say it was a pre-season game. I'm pretty sure it was not the first regular season game with Ole Miss.
 
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triple
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Old
100 - 06-12-2009, 11:03
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Quote:
hardcore Catholics
coming from a former altar boy at a catholic church

theres no such thing

oh yea, you actually bought the line about no premarital sex? what are you, 7?
 
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Last edited by triple; 06-12-2009 at 11:05..
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