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Mindflayr
VeteranXV
Old
181 - 06-12-2009, 17:17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sascha View Post
masturbate to opening credits of a wesley snipes movie?
Man I figured it had to be Rising Sun. IIRC the opening credits is the chicken getting banged on the conference table. You coulda gotten away with that one. Art of War. :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by JerryGarcia View Post
In this thread I learned ngfm is a mascot
Hes been the TW mascot for a few years now. Nothing new.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nSpectre View Post
When I was about 5 I laid down in my backyard and was instantly ravaged by 22 puppies. Within seconds my hair was in knots, my shoelaces were untied and I was covered in slobber.
You lived with Cruella Deville? 22 Puppies... wtf. Did they make good Tacos lateR?

EDIT: My Story (1 of many but Im pretty sure this 1 is rare):

I had Anal Sex with my 1st GF before I ever got a BJ or had sex. Her Mom told her BJs were dirty... and Sex had to wait for marriage. Apparently since nobody warned her about it, my idea of Anal was ok. She wasn't very smart.
 
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Last edited by Mindflayr; 06-12-2009 at 18:25..
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motoxbudd
VeteranXV
Contributor
Old
182 - 06-12-2009, 17:19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bonepuppet View Post
i know you've mentioned it before but paint ball really is hard to sell in mumbai
hard sell anywhere in india, where the avg yearly income for uppper/middle class peeps (engineers, doctors, etc) is about 10k. but my gf makes it work somehow.
 
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bosketaru
VeteranXV
Old
183 - 06-12-2009, 17:41
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When I was 5, I was visiting grandparents in the country side of Romania and was run over by a horse carriage half-filled with corn over my lower back. Bled out of my (at the time) little dick and got away with a bruised kidney and chronic lower back pain (not really, only sometimes). Was hospitalized for 3 days.

Last year I found 2 $100 bills under a table at the restaurant I work for. At that table there had been siting two hot chicks from my school. Same week I got to meet the hotter one.

This past spring break I went down to Miami and got to party with Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez during a FnF4 opening party.

In 2006, I wanted to join the high-mile club, so I jerked off in the bathroom of the airplane on a flight from Chicago to Orlando. As I was finishing up and zipping my jeans, my head got caught in the zipper. It wasn't as pleasant as the past 5-10 mins had been. There was also a line when I got out.

 
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vempire
Resident Freak
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Old
184 - 06-12-2009, 17:42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiderman View Post
I had a lung deflate once.
My left lung has partially collapsed five times now. Fun stuff. The ER just never gets boring no matter how many times I go there. It gets kinda bad when hospital staff starts to remember you.


- I made part of the batteries that were put into the Mars Rovers.

- I had at least 30-40 police/SWAT team members point their weapons at me with possible intent to kill if need be. (Idiot roommate shot the ice-cream truck with a pellet gun from behind a curtain. They had to respond as if it was a real shooter just warming up.)

- I got to smell the lead singer of SNFU's ass. Over at a friend's house the other night hanging out with a couple guys from SNFU. Chi Pig is telling us how he almost threw up in Paris when a fan did this absolutely disgusting thing to him. He proceeds to show us: He takes his finger, rams it down the crack of his ass, then rams it under the nose of the closest person while yelling "Viva la France!" The closest person? Me. I fully understood the almost throwing up part. Probably made even more vivid given how Chi Pig looks.
 
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krustyy
VeteranXV
Old
185 - 06-12-2009, 17:44
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wtf, you can't be in the mile high club by jerking off.
 
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Marathon
Veteran++
Old
186 - 06-12-2009, 17:55
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Wayne Gretzky was my little league baseball coach.
 
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Ray
VeteranX
Old
187 - 06-12-2009, 18:10
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I've been mugged. (twice)

Gotten in a fight with a philippino pimp and came out on top.

Been shot at with a shotgun while riding through a farmers field on a quad.

I also ran from the cops on the same quad.

Jumped off a 200ft cliff into water.

Been to multiple baseball and football games where I had an all access press pass.

Broke my collar bone after jumping out of a boat to grab my hat going 30 mph.
 
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Data
VeteranXX
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Old
188 - 06-12-2009, 18:15
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Yeah so last night I hopped in one of my amazingly pimp rides which is a Ferrari or something I don't know because I own so many goddamn cars LOL and said goodnight to my supermodel wife just after she gave me 12 blowjobs for 2 hours while I drank Chivas and watched porn and then I drove to a club where I picked up three chicks and drove them over to meet my girlfriend on the side who is also a supermodel and we all had amazingly erotic sex for 12 hours and I tapped one of the chick's asses who was a supermodel and then busted on her back so hard that she had to go to the hospital because I bruised her spine. Then I took some drugs and drove another car it's like a Mitsubishi Eclipse special edition TYPE R or something beats me who cares when you own like 20 cars and three mansions and then I went to a stockholders meeting for Microsoft and Dupont and ExxonMobil and made lots of important decisions and then I took a limo with three hookers in it that the government paid for and they gave me blowjobs while I fingered their pussies and snorted coke off of their ****. And then I brought them home where my supermodel wife had sex with all of the hookers and I videotaped it and then we all did some online shopping and I bought a few more cars and a hot tub and we adopted some kids from the Tsunami because it is important to spread the love and be socially aware of things going on in the world, okay don't you think so? So then I drove the hookers home and they said that they had so much fun that they were not going to even charge the government and one of them said that I had the biggest cock she had ever seen and everyone else agreed LOL. So then I went and played some video games with my girlfriend and some of her supermodel friends and they invited some rock stars over and we all partied and played games and then all of the supermodels piled on top of me and we had incredibly erotic sex in one of my mansions and four of my other cars, all of which cost over $100,000 each. And also I totally owned at the video games. Then after that we went out for a restaurant and it was so good that I bought the restaurant and the head chef, who is also a supermodel, came out and gave me a blow job while she made unagi rolls which are my favorite. Then my wife and my girlfriend had lesbian sex in the restaurant and everyone had an orgy and everyone in the whole restaurant had a vote and I won "Largest Wang" as well as "Best Eyes" and "Most Semen". Then I drove home in 12 different cars and left the ones without gas on the side of the road for homeless people to take because it is important to give back to the community, and then I went to bed. And that was the best day of my life, for real.
 
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Stilgar
VeteranXV
Old
189 - 06-12-2009, 18:24
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I cut Al Pacino off on the 101.
Michael Biehn tossed a smoke out his window into my car.
 
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Synth
VeteranXX
Old
190 - 06-12-2009, 18:24
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got maced by a guy asking for directions
 
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RabidWolf
VeteranXV
Old
191 - 06-12-2009, 18:58
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got married on a small island in sweden that nobody's been married on before

flew a helicopter -- all my time playing desert combat actually helped me
 
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Geck0
VeteranXV
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Old
192 - 06-12-2009, 19:03
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LOL Data I'm amazed that took 10 pages to get quoted.
 
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Solve et Coagula
VeteranX
Old
193 - 06-12-2009, 19:28
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Nothing real special. Drove from PA to New Jersey 100+ MPH the whole way. Friends car had new tires and turbo had to test them. On the way home drove at 160 MPH for a few minutes and raced against other cars that were at the car show we were at.
 
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Gweedo
VeteranXV
Old
194 - 06-12-2009, 19:43
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I broke my friends two front teeth with a field hockey stick by accident. Fun times

I once pulled a girl wearing a full jesus costume complete with beard.
I had sex in 4 man tent, while there was 6 other people in it. (think enemy at the gate style) and no one noticed.

there is probably a few more but meh
 
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Swensonator
VeteranX
Old
195 - 06-12-2009, 19:47
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I met Shaq and The Undertaker while setting up Cyber Sunday last november.
I **** in all 9 golf holes in my home town. (had to hold it for 3 days to pull it off)
I told a girlfriends dad to his face we were having sex in his house and lived
thats all I can think of
 
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Sascha
VeteranXV
Old
196 - 06-12-2009, 19:55
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i take it back, it was Murder at 1600!!!
 
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BeLiaL
VeteranXX
Old
197 - 06-12-2009, 20:11
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almost forgot...

i took someone's head off with a flatbed trailer
 
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--chaingun
VeteranXV
Old
198 - 06-12-2009, 20:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stilgar View Post
Michael Biehn tossed a smoke out his window into my car.
Hell yeah.
 
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LouCypher
VeteranX
Old
199 - 06-12-2009, 20:35
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I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
 
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nSpectre
Musashi's Suck-pig
Rayn's Apprentice
Contributor
Old
200 - 06-12-2009, 20:58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gweedo View Post
I had sex in 4 man tent, while there was 6 other people in it. (think enemy at the gate style) and no one noticed.
Heh. I doggie-styled a chick dressed in a full pirate costume in a tent at Pirate Faire. I'm pretty sure passersby knew why the tent was doing what it was doing.
 
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