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SexPistol 04-21-2009 16:36

there will be more than one game played this episode

and nah everything was good, i told her about all the ensuing drama way ahead of time cause it she needed to know ahead of time
once she saw how it all played out on tv we can't help but laugh at it now

zaius 04-21-2009 16:44

did cj at least give you a blumpkin in the bathroom?

psc777 04-21-2009 16:45

Mark denies the kiss. But I think it did happen!

Skibbi9 04-21-2009 16:55

I heard about a frat party from one of the cardio bunnies I slammed last week. Called me up and said I should make it if I get a chance. After another grueling workout, I decide to take Lex along with me.

We walk into the frat house, and it's exactly what I expected. 135 pounders in Abercrombie tshirts. Pathetic. I walk through the crowd in my aviators and beater, pushing guys at the party out of the way to establish Alpha dominance. We head into the kitchen, where one frat boy is making mixed drink for a few hotties. "Blender belongs to me now" I snarl at him, dump out the contents and begin to make my patented Mega Shake. Eight scoops of N-Large2, a jar of natty peanut butter, and 2 bananas all blended with lowfat milk. I blend up my mix, toast Lex in our shakers, and drink.

Apparently not all party participants liked the fact that me and Lex had stolen the blender. One girl had brought the "bouncer" over.

Bouncer: What's going on over here?
Lex: <taking off his aviators> We got a situation here boss, looks like 19 inch pythons on this guy.

I take off my aviators to get a better look.

Me: <giggling> Fatceps.

I notice a tattoo on the bouncer's arm, "Big Daddy" it says.

Me: Big Daddy?
Bouncer: <pissed off> Bigger than you.
Me: Maybe so, chief. But I'm swoler.

I reach into my bag and get out my body fat calipers.

Bouncer: Man, get those things away from me!
Me: <grinning> Aw, come on, lets see how much fat are on those fatceps of yours.
Bouncer: <crying> F**k you man, leave me alone! <He runs out of the room while I explode into laughter>

After about 20 more minutes of lat flaring around the party, I realize I have to take a huge ****. That Mega Shake wasn't sitting too well. I head into the bathroom with the newspaper. (I knew it was gonna be a messy struggle). A few minutes later, some drunk girl comes into the bathroom.

Drunk girl: Hi, ummm, I just wanted to say that you are really sexy and ummm***8230;
Me: Get the f**k out? I'm trying to **** in peace here
Drunk girl: Well, ummm, could I give you a blumpkin?
Me: F**k's a blumpkin?
Drunk girl: Well, its when you give someone head while they are taking a ****.

<I look her up and down. Decent sized **** and a good face.>

Me: Yeah why not. Just don't use your f**king teeth.

<I continue to read the paper while she blows me. She ended up swallowing every last drop.>

Drunk girl: Was it good?
Me: Not bad. I'd give it a C+

<Drunk girl lays down and passes out. I realize there is no toilet paper. So I take drunk girl's shirt and wipe my ass with it and walk out>

Me: Nice knowin' ya, sweetie.

I decide to find Lex so we can go home. On the way I run into two frat boys.

Frat boy 1: Excuse me? Do you think you could give us some weightlifting tips? I mean we don't want to get huge or anything, just Brad Pitt in fight Club, you know? Any pointers?

I felt the rage boiling up inside of me but kept my cool. I decided not to punch them out (no need to go back to prison). I bang on the door Lex is in.

Me: Let's f**King go, I'm tired and I want to go to sleep.
Lex: I got this ***** licking my nuts right now!
Me: Hurry up and nut in her face so we can go home. I'll start the car.

I walk outside to my beamer. I look at the car next to me, and Bouncer is in it, crying. Not only that, but he was driving a Jetta. I'm sorry, but if you are a bodybuilder you cannot drive a Volkswagen. You could be Ronnie F**kin' Coleman and you would get no respect from me if you are tooling around in a golf. The only time you could get head by driving a VW is from Gary down at the local Starbucks.

I lit up a cigar and waited for Lex to emerge. "Blumpkin," I thought to myself, smiling. "Doctor Swole, sometimes you even impress yourself."

Mabelrode 04-21-2009 16:58

OK, who the ****ing **** made up the word 'blumpkin'? I mean, who authorized that for contextual use? Sounds like a ****ing accessory for clown wear. Get the **** outta here.

tiu_sam 04-21-2009 19:50

too bad next season won't have a tribal warrior in it :(

triple 04-21-2009 22:02

****s on

hastie 04-21-2009 22:15


women drivers... lol

Luke 04-21-2009 22:18

Meh, that's kinda retarded.

triple 04-21-2009 22:19

mark didnt lose!

ayz 04-21-2009 22:21

pgr4 upside down


they should force people to play fight night 3 with rock band drums

NAT Mav 04-21-2009 22:24

NOOOO not Chelsea. :(

{X}Hitman 04-21-2009 22:24

she was a ****ty gamer anyway

ayz 04-21-2009 22:27

ok what in the **** this is retarded

BrokenWear 04-21-2009 22:29

hahahahahha wtf is that thing?

NAT Mav 04-21-2009 22:30

It's that whole "pat your head, rub your tummy" trick.

Luke 04-21-2009 22:31

That's better than upside down racing.

Paladin-5 04-21-2009 22:31

this kind of sucks

celtic108 04-21-2009 22:31

jamal is an ass

telia 04-21-2009 22:32


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