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-   -   in this thread, i will write poems about things that you hate (https://www.tribalwar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=496639)

LogRoller 07-14-2007 23:55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al'Muktar (Post 11834519)
I put my nephew on the naughty step today

I felt worse than I think I would feel if I'd actually beat him

the little guy was crying his eyes out

is it normal for them to be so butthurt about the naughty step? ;<

(he's nearly 4 btw)
yeah, it seems like any "punishment" brings shame and tears, regardless of the actual content.

Al'Muktar 07-14-2007 23:59
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogRoller (Post 11834527)
yeah, it seems like any "punishment" brings shame and tears, regardless of the actual content.
well I dont know man

in the past, when he's acted like a little **** I've just changed the channel to the news, which tends to shut him the **** up cos he hates it

if that doesnt work, I make him watch a documentary on WWII machine guns

recently though, he's got over the 'MINE!' phase and got on to the whole cheeky thing

I have never ever ever had to use the 'naughty step' with him before, I think of it as the 'nuclear' option and he's usually an angel with me

seeing his little face curl up and cry earlier made me feel like such an absolute bastard, even though he deserved it ;<

I probably wouldnt be thinking about it if I wasnt feeling so broody atm :)

LogRoller 07-15-2007 00:03
later on, he'll be a better person for it.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 00:05
well he is taking after his uncle in the dress-wearing department, so thats a good thing

he's started to try to punch people when he doesnt get his way, have yours ever done that?

edit: at what point did yours start to do that ;>

LogRoller 07-15-2007 00:07
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al'Muktar (Post 11834555)
well he is taking after his uncle in the dress-wearing department, so thats a good thing

he's started to try to punch people when he doesnt get his way, have yours ever done that?
my little girl does that. she is two. we have two "time out" areas, and we put her there when she gets violent or does not listen. she cries, and we explain why she was put there until she indicates that she understands (which she may or may not), and then we get back to playing with toys.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 00:12
heh.

thing is with my nephew, he only sees me when I'm not at uni, so he's usually been an angel with me

he's been a lil bastard to my sister (his mum) since he hit his terrible two, but he's always been a complete star when he was with me because he hadnt worked out what would **** me off

recently though he's grown to be an arrogant bastard

couple that with the fact that my mother is trying to force him on me more often, as a way to 'subtly' suggest that I should make my fiance pregnant, its kinda a test-run to see if I'd be an alright dad

I love the little bastard but he sure as hell makes me want to beat him till he's blue somtimes

LogRoller 07-15-2007 00:13
if that's how you feel, you're probably ready to be a parent.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 00:17
yeah I know, I look at little girls and I'm like omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg do want :heart:

I'm still only 22 though and I have my education to finish, but maaan its one huge hormonal imperative

I even steal my nephew now and then to take him out with my gf/fiance/w/e to go do stuff so that we have some sort of experience before we even have kids

dkjhfg I'm really broody atm ;<

LogRoller 07-15-2007 00:26
well, you got some time bro. and after you eventually do get married, spend a few years with your wife to have fun, travel a bit, do stupid **** together. try to save some money in the process. then settle down.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 00:28
thats what I was thinking

infact how old are you? your kids are still young, so that must put you in say, err, the early 30s?

LogRoller 07-15-2007 00:30
late thirties. we waited for a long time.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 00:34
fair play :)

the more I get to know my nephew, though, the more I want a lil girl/lil fella of my own

I'm surrounded by 18 yearolds with 3 yearold kids, so my perception is kinda warped, but I think that I'll be an ace dad

it also helps that my fiance is an 'elementary' school (although we call it 'primary') teacher and also a family support worker for the local council

I think we'd make a good team

thanks loggy :)

Gangrel 07-15-2007 01:07
how is it that british people can say stuff that seems so gay

but it is totally normal to them

naughty step????????????????????

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gangrel (Post 11834797)
how is it that british people can say stuff that seems so gay

but it is totally normal to them

naughty step????????????????????
basically

instead of beating the **** out of him for trying to punch me

I pick him up and move him to the stairs

I say BAD BOY BAD BOY YOU WILL SIT ON THIS STAIR FOR A WHOLE BLOODY MINUTE AND YOU WILL THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE

DO

NOT

HIT

PEOPLE

and then they just cry their eyes out

I seriously wish I'd just hit him, he was so upset ;/

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gangrel (Post 11834797)
how is it that british people can say stuff that seems so gay

but it is totally normal to them

naughty step????????????????????
although i love the brits, and they are definitely a large part of my genetic heritage, i can say with all confidence that their upper classes are largely raging flamers who have hidden legendary amounts of sexual deviancy from the public over the years, but it still inevitably leaks out in little phrases like "tea and crumpets", "i'm off to the chippie", and "go stand on the naughty step".

xanthias 07-15-2007 01:20
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogRoller (Post 11824895)
1. the thing/person you hate
2. what you hate about it/them
3. things you'd like to happen to it/them
4. one redeeming thing about it/them
1. Reggs (or at least the TW version of him)
2. Gender confusion/sexual preference angst masquerading as existentialism
3. fall in love with a large, Baptist girl
4. Apparently knows how to cook


There, the gauntlet is thrown.

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:24
Quote:
Originally Posted by xanthias (Post 11834874)
1. Reggs (or at least the TW version of him)
2. Gender confusion/sexual preference angst masquerading as existentialism
3. fall in love with a large, Baptist girl
4. Apparently knows how to cook


There, the gauntlet is thrown.
there once was a young boy named reggs
who wore lipstick and oft shaved his legs
he'd stuff up a bra
and go to the spa
but as a lady he sure was the dregs

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:25
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogRoller (Post 11834861)
although i love the brits, and they are definitely a large part of my genetic heritage, i can say with all confidence that their upper classes are largely raging flamers who have hidden legendary amounts of sexual deviancy from the public over the years, but it still inevitably leaks out in little phrases like "tea and crumpets", "i'm off to the chippie", and "go stand on the naughty step".
thats just plainly unfair

the upper classes are just that, they're a ****ing minority

"I'm off to the chippie" is immortal because the rest of pink floyd told their orignial singer that they were just going for some tasty fish and potato-based fare as opposed to telling him that they thought he was insane


I will say though

my gf (being indian) doesnt understand the phrase:

"an english boy is judged purely on his ablility to hit a six, and take a bit of hot crumpet from behind without blubbing'

I'm sure that, as fellas, most of you will understand it

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:27
i never understood why english schoolboys liked to jam pastries up each other's bottoms.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:34
english public schools (AKA private boarding schools, long story) are a hotbead of sedition and ******ry

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:36
yeah, i went to the sherborne school for boys for a year.

we used to go around with a flashlight after the lights went out and walk in on all of the lower sixth form wacking off to porn so that we could laugh at them, and we caught two boys giving each other oral sex.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:38
yup

thats how it is

I got kicked out of the (boy) scouts for telling my patrol off for having a wanking competition

Lamb 07-15-2007 01:39
I read that as "Fleshlight".

Also, that's ****ed up (the oral sex). Pics.

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamb (Post 11834979)
I read that as "Fleshlight".

Also, that's ****ed up (the oral sex). Pics.
we didn't have ditigimal cameraphones in the late eighties.

Lamb 07-15-2007 01:45
We had regular cameras that printed photographs, and we now have the scanners for said photographs. Get to it.

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:47
first of all, if i took pics, no one would develop them because they would depict underage gay sexual activity.

second of all, i didn't take pics. in fact, i did everything i could to erase the image from my mind, including drinking enormous amounts of alcohol.

but if you like, just google for an image of two young skinny men with zits doing a 69 in their pajama tops.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:47
im sure that you could arrange your own semi-not gay adolescent wanking competition if you wanted to

edit: you beat me too it logz you ****

Lamb 07-15-2007 01:48
You didn't mention them doing the 69, God I bet they were super sweaty too.

LogRoller 07-15-2007 01:50
probably not, that house was ****ing cold. they didn't want to pay for heating the whole thing. in the meantime, the housemaster was walking around in shorts and a tee shirt with one of those sun mirrors under his chin, the swine.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:51
just attempt to internalise the image/thought/word of 'squirmy wormies'

and you will understand how mad/confused I was when I came back into that ****ing tent

Lamb 07-15-2007 01:53
Apparently you've never had smoking-hot cock in your throat.

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 01:55
everybody was twelve years old

dont get me wrong, I've had those kind of confused 'lulz I'm 11 this is my cock, look its better than yours' moments, as most men do

its just that the level of ******ry that I experienced on returning to my patrols' tent just went beyond the pail

n9ne 07-15-2007 01:56
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogRoller (Post 11824895)
1. the thing/person you hate
2. what you hate about it/them
3. things you'd like to happen to it/them
4. one redeeming thing about it/them

1. not having a ton of money
2. cant buy enough jewelry cars or shoes
3. id like to make it rain on these hoes
4. nothing

Bounty 07-15-2007 20:32
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogRoller (Post 11834506)
okay, here it is: the ballad of bounty and the old busybody

so bounty and jay double you grad
went out with jack, their offspring lad
they took him out to learn the ropes
to see who's smart and who's a dope
the family walked around the mall
they browsed in shops and peered in stalls
and as they sat down to a meal
a very odd feeling they did feel
they sensed a presence just nearby
so bounty with his careful eye
did survey round the vast food court
to see if danger did purport
it took him just a little while
a lady faced him with a smile
"she's past her prime" old bounty thought
with old barettes her hair was fraught
her eyes peered over a wrinkled nose
she had a most judgemental pose
and just as bounty saw her true
he figured out what she would do
she stood and pointed at their child
"hey there!" she yelled, oh, she was riled
"you can't just feed him that old junk"
"he'll grow up bad, and be a punk!"
"you'll rot his teeth, you'll ruin his liver!"
"a hellion you will deliver!"
so bounty and his wife and kid
they got up fast, and ran, and hid
they lost her in a clothing store
but there she was, ready for more
"don't buy him those, they are too tight!"
"it shows too much! it's just not right!"
so bounty gathered all his fam
and off to somewhere else they ran
they found a place for him to play
(they put those things in malls these days)
as jack jumped on a big giraffe
bounty and jay dub had a laugh
but laughing soon was cut too short
that woman came back for more sport
"good lord!" she yelled, "he'll die for sure!"
"how could you be so immature!"
"don't let him climb up there so high!"
"he'll fall and break his neck and die!"
"i have twelve kids, i know what for!"
""so listen well, i know the score!"
well bounty just had had enough
he grabbed that fat ***** by the scruff
he dragged her towards a garbage can
and then he carried out his plan
he picked her up and threw her in
her legs stuck upwards from the bin
he grabbed a plank (there was a stack)
and then her ass cheeks he did smack
he smacked them once, he smacked them twice
he smacked them till she'd paid the price
when he was done, he laughed all merry
and jack gave her a big raspberry
so listen well, you fat old whores
the next time you're out at the store
no matter how much you are prone
that's his business, so mind your own
:rofl:

Thanks, man - I'm printing this out and framing it. :lol:

Bounty 07-15-2007 20:54
Okay, so I didn't frame it ... but it IS hanging on my fridge now, next to Jack's drawings. :lol:

Al'Muktar 07-15-2007 21:01
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJqv_yszmRw

how cute is my nephew :)

he makes me want to make babies ;[

LogRoller 07-16-2007 01:14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bounty (Post 11837385)
Okay, so I didn't frame it ... but it IS hanging on my fridge now, next to Jack's drawings. :lol:
frames are so expensive these days.

anyway, i'm sure that mstrike will post it elsewhere any day now and claim it as his own work. its value as art will be severely diminished.

Sp!nfusor Salad 07-26-2007 04:51
cancer.

or just me in general.... I miss being lampooned.

TheGrudge 05-08-2008 20:09
1. Idiots who talk out loud during things they shouldn't.

2. I hate it when these people talk out loud at a movie theater while also usualy laughing at stuff that isn't funny at all which completely ruins the mood of the movie. And also this ***** at my digital audio class that talks loudly and laughs during the group critique of the class's projects for the month.

3. I daydream about picking up my computer monitor and smashing her face in. Or using any other heavy electronic device sitting around like my MIDI controller. Many times with the people at a theater, I imagine turning around and instantly breaking their nose with my fist in front of the whole theater. I imagine everyone would cheer.

4. At least the girl I mentioned is hot. There is no redeeming quality about the stupid ****s who talk at the movie theater.

That should be enough content to come up with something good.


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