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fraggle 07-08-2008 01:48

[official]the nyc story every non-troll wants to read told by fraggle
cliffs for the lazy:
i'm awesome everyone else sucks


since gon3 isn't banned i've decided to tell the story, and maybe in the spirit of goodwill rayn will let gon3 live to see another day.

the tw akuma meet was scheduled to go down on july 2nd, a wednesday. on june 30th, akuma ims me to see if i have any ideas on what to do with the guys in nyc. being cautiously optimistic, i asked him if he seriously didn't have anything planned out. at this point akuma tried to brush that remark off saying any bar with "cheep" beer would be ok with the group. i suggested a few touristy things like the SI ferry that might appeal to the group and akuma brushed those off stating that the group wouldn't be into touristy stuff at all.

the morning of july 2nd akuma texts me at 8am. i was sleeping. so he texted me again at 8:30am. i was still sleeping. finally he called and woke me up at quarter to 10. he wanted to make sure i was still going to the airport at 1pm. i said sure and akuma told me he was already in manhattan, and gonna get an early start on getting to the airport. i said great and hung up.

i left my house at around noon, and when i was 10 mins away from the airport fancy texts me to tell me he's landed. i tell him to meet me somewhere and a few minutes later excel texts me. i pick them both up and akuma hadn't gotten to the airport yet. so much for the early start. me, excel and fancy cat headed over to get some chicken and waffles while akuma waited for glare at the airport, and then i dropped the two of them off at their hotel and i went home to drop my car off.

when i returned to the group they were at applebees drinking coors lights and other crappy domestic beers. i spent a few minutes making fun of the gay waiter for not having any decent beer on tap, then i drank a quick one and we headed out of applebees. i should note that it took like 20 mins for us to pay our tabs because akuma was arguing over a two dollar discrepancy on the 'forced gratuity' or something. one would think i wasn't the token jew there.

so the guys headed up to the hotel room to change, and i told them that they shouldnt wear flip flops because i had secured us all free passes to the hustler club and their dress code dictates no flip flops/sandals. akuma argues for around 10 mins stating that there is no way in hell he will go out without flip flops because 'thats all i wear.' after being a baby for quite awhile, akuma finally gave in and threw some sneakers on at the urging of fancy cat.

at this point i walked the group over to the 42nd street train station and we boarded the train to head to this bar called zum schneider in alphabet city. the train was packed because it was rush hour, and pretty much everyone was grinding on each other. glare kept rubbing against this pretty hot chick who in turn was giving me dirty looks because there wasn't enough space for her to face glare. excel seemed kind of overwhelmed in the packed train because it was his first subway ride ever. at this point the group was me, excel, fancy, raisr, glare and akuma.

so we get off the train at union square and its a good 15-20 minute walk from there to the bar. i told fancy it was just a few blocks because he's fat and lazy and likes to take cabs everywhere. akuma started almost immediately after leaving the train yelling about how he wanted a 40. so we get to a grocery store and akuma picks up a 40 of molson ice. i said to him dude, have you ever even drank a 40 before? the only way to properly drink a 40 is to drink oe. so i picked him out a 40 of oe and bought it for him. it was the 2nd drink i saw akuma have that day. he seemed proud of himself when he finished it.

after awhile we arrived at the bar and fancy was *****ing about the long walk. i ordered a few liters of optimator and we sat down at a large table. well almost all of us did. akuma decided to sit down with some middle aged guys and join in on their conversation. pretty much the first thing he did when he sat down was start drinking this one guy's beer. since it was a beer that was just put down, the guy just let akuma finish it. akuma then started eating their food. i might have found this behavior weird and commented on it, but hellraisr claimed that is pretty much normal behavior for akuma.

i was two liters of optimator down when snakes showed up. snakes is a fag. he came in wearing a scoop necked girls t-shirt and started lecturing me on misogynism when i tried to get him to join us at the hustler club after. then he ditched the group. **** snakes. finally the loud behavior of the group got us cut off at the bar, and even though i am under control 100% of the time, i was outnumbered by loud drunk people so we had to leave. fancy had downed 3 liters of optimator at this point. akuma downed two beers at this bar, both were of the .3 liter variety. he was nursing a liter optimator but finished maybe half of it before giving up.

when we left the bar we got some pizza. after pizza is when **** got interesting. on our walk back to the train station, akuma decided to rip a few garbage cans that were chained to a building off of the building. while ripping them off he yelled WOOOO at the top of his lungs. people started yelling at him from out the windows of these buildings, but akuma didnt care. he just started cackling and running forward. as he'd approach new people, akuma would raise his shirt to flash them while yelling out OOOO or WOOO or CHECK IT or some other retarded nonsense phrase. after flashing a good 10-12 people, he decided to threaten to stab some people. one of these people was a ghetto looking black girl. "IM GONNA STAB YOU ******," he yelled, and she started chasing after him finally giving up after half a block. akuma then started doing cartwheels... 3 of em. we were finally right at the train station when akuma approached a row of newspaper metal lockboxes, then proceeded to tackle them, dropping 3 to the ground. mind you the sun is still out, its like 8:20pm and theres a ton of pedestrian traffic in the area. akuma got up and was bleeding profusely from 2 spots on his leg. awesome. we took the train up to 42nd, and i told fancy that we should just drop akuma off at the hotel because he's out of control.

fancy decided that akuma was ok, and gave akuma a pep talk. "mike i need you to act like you're okay, can you do that mike" akuma said yes so we went to a pharmacy to try to patch up his wounds so that he wouldn't be leaking blood trying to get into a strip club. while the group was trying to gauze/tape up his wounds, akuma started yelling woo and trying to dance. so yea, the tape job wasnt really done right. at this point i talked to fancy again and again tried to convince him to drop akuma at the room. again fancy fought for akuma saying that akuma would be fine, not to worry, etc. about 5 seconds later akuma did a cartwheel, ran up to some chick, flashed her and yelled something random.

we had a group talk and everyone agreed that akuma needed to stay in the hotel. in retrospect i think this was akuma's plan all along, because he didn't want to go to the strip club because he's broke as a joke. this is just my opinion of course. so we drop akuma off and we head over to the hustler club. i had free internet passes for everyone so we avoided the $20 cover. end of story. :domotwak:

fraggle 07-08-2008 01:48

ps this story sucks

CelticMojo 07-08-2008 01:49

Fraggle your story needs cliffs.

confidential 07-08-2008 01:49


DoctoR WanG 07-08-2008 01:50


Jungle Fish 07-08-2008 01:50

fraggle 07-08-2008 01:50


Originally Posted by Yakuza (Post 13428135)
Fraggle your story needs cliffs.


CelticMojo 07-08-2008 01:51


Achilles 07-08-2008 01:51

Rayn should unban gon, and ban fraggle if he gets all uppity.

Bump 07-08-2008 01:53


dionysus 07-08-2008 01:54

buy me hookers.

Wish Bear 07-08-2008 01:54


blazindave 07-08-2008 01:55

Nice story.
When you coming to montreal, damn you?

CelticMojo 07-08-2008 01:55

HEY I just realized something else lacking from your story... PICS MAN WERE ARE THE PICS!!!

Oenone 07-08-2008 01:56


fraggle 07-08-2008 01:56

i'll be in montreal july 18th and 19th, leaving the 20th.

Eggi 07-08-2008 01:56



Originally Posted by fraggle (Post 13428171)
i'll be in montreal july 18th and 19th, leaving the 20th.

are you visiting that hot blond?

07-08-2008 01:57

Akuma is worse than my buddy griffin, and i mean he is a loud obnoxious drunk. But some of that crap is just WoW.

naptown 07-08-2008 01:58

i've came to the conclusion that only 1 side of akuma's face works

the pictures confirm this

fraggle 07-08-2008 01:58


Originally Posted by Eggi (Post 13428172)

are you visiting that hot blond?

i'm not huge on repeats.

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