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Brasstax
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1 - 01-24-2018, 01:23
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I was listening to the Chicago police scanner and it said shots fired. He was a good dude. SC joined the French Foreign Legion as a child where he learned all their complex sexual positions by the age of 9. He served in Vietnam as a noodle chef until the Great Passive Aggression of 1985. He married an Arab Sheik and won a Golden Handjob Award in 2015. He joined Tribalwar in 1832 and posted a lot of stuff. He will be missed.
 
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savage inuit
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2 - 01-24-2018, 01:27
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heard he once gave himself a reach-around
 
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Brasstax
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3 - 01-24-2018, 01:28
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I heard it was a 720
 
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savage inuit
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4 - 01-24-2018, 01:29
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no scope
 
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Brasstax
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5 - 01-24-2018, 01:32
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legend
 
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Plasmatic
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6 - 01-24-2018, 01:44
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An old man sitting at table was waiting for his wife to serve dinner. He heard her beating a pot that had burned her. He hated the sound of a pot when it was beaten, for it advertised its pain in such a way that made him wish to inflict more of the same. And he began to punch at his own face, and his knuckles were red. How he hated red knuckles, that blaring color, more self-important than the wound.

He heard his wife drop the entire dinner on the kitchen floor with a curse. For as she was carrying it in it had burned her thumb. He heard the forks and spoons, the cups and platters all cry at once as they landed on the kitchen floor. How he hated a dinner that, once prepared, begins to burn one to death, and as if that weren't enough, screeches and roars as it lands on the floor, where it belongs anyway.

He punched himself again and fell on the floor.

When he came awake again he was quite angry, and so he punched himself again and felt dizzy. Dizziness made him angry, and so he began to hit his head against the wall, saying, now get real dizzy if you want to get dizzy. He slumped to the floor.

Oh, the legs won't work, eh? . . . He began to punch his legs. He had taught his head a lesson and now he would teach his legs a lesson.

Meanwhile he heard his wife smashing the remaining dinnerware and the dinnerware roaring and shrieking.

He saw himself in the mirror on the wall. Oh, mock me, will you. And so he smashed the mirror with a chair, which broke. Oh, don't want to be a chair no more; too good to be sat on, eh? He began to beat the pieces of the chair.

He heard his wife beating the stove with an ax. He called, when're we going to eat? as he stuffed a candle into his mouth.

When I'm good and ready, she screamed.

Want me to punch your bun? he screamed.

Come near me and I'll kick an eye out of your head.

I'll cut your ears off.

I'll give you a slap right in the face.

I'll break you in half.

The old man finally ate one of his hands. The old woman said, damn fool, whyn't you cook it first? you go on like a beast ***8212; You know I have to subdue the kitchen every night, otherwise it'll cook me and serve me to the mice on my best china. And you know what small eaters they are; next would come the flies, and how I hate flies in my kitchen.
The old man swallowed a spoon. Okay, said the old woman, now we're short one spoon.

The old man, growing angry, swallowed himself.

Okay, said the woman, now you've done it.
 
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SirBatesAlot
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7 - 01-24-2018, 01:55
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I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went.

Then it dawned on me
 
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LGBR
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8 - 01-24-2018, 02:58
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YTMND - Starsiege: TRIBES
 
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ArakAtak
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9 - 01-24-2018, 06:14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plasmatic View Post
An old man sitting at table was waiting for his wife to serve dinner. He heard her beating a pot that had burned her. He hated the sound of a pot when it was beaten, for it advertised its pain in such a way that made him wish to inflict more of the same. And he began to punch at his own face, and his knuckles were red. How he hated red knuckles, that blaring color, more self-important than the wound.

He heard his wife drop the entire dinner on the kitchen floor with a curse. For as she was carrying it in it had burned her thumb. He heard the forks and spoons, the cups and platters all cry at once as they landed on the kitchen floor. How he hated a dinner that, once prepared, begins to burn one to death, and as if that weren't enough, screeches and roars as it lands on the floor, where it belongs anyway.

He punched himself again and fell on the floor.

When he came awake again he was quite angry, and so he punched himself again and felt dizzy. Dizziness made him angry, and so he began to hit his head against the wall, saying, now get real dizzy if you want to get dizzy. He slumped to the floor.

Oh, the legs won't work, eh? . . . He began to punch his legs. He had taught his head a lesson and now he would teach his legs a lesson.

Meanwhile he heard his wife smashing the remaining dinnerware and the dinnerware roaring and shrieking.

He saw himself in the mirror on the wall. Oh, mock me, will you. And so he smashed the mirror with a chair, which broke. Oh, don't want to be a chair no more; too good to be sat on, eh? He began to beat the pieces of the chair.

He heard his wife beating the stove with an ax. He called, when're we going to eat? as he stuffed a candle into his mouth.

When I'm good and ready, she screamed.

Want me to punch your bun? he screamed.

Come near me and I'll kick an eye out of your head.

I'll cut your ears off.

I'll give you a slap right in the face.

I'll break you in half.

The old man finally ate one of his hands. The old woman said, damn fool, whyn't you cook it first? you go on like a beast You know I have to subdue the kitchen every night, otherwise it'll cook me and serve me to the mice on my best china. And you know what small eaters they are; next would come the flies, and how I hate flies in my kitchen.
The old man swallowed a spoon. Okay, said the old woman, now we're short one spoon.

The old man, growing angry, swallowed himself.

Okay, said the woman, now you've done it.

That was really enjoyable, A+ would read again.
 
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Brasstax
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10 - 01-24-2018, 12:29
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epidemic
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11 - 01-24-2018, 12:36
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u wil b mist
 
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Hologram
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12 - 01-24-2018, 16:24
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YTMND - AIDS WATER
 
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Data
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13 - 01-24-2018, 17:20
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RIP in peace
 
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Captain Tele
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14 - 01-24-2018, 17:30
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hahahahah

like even Chicango could take Smiling Canadian down

they should be more scared of what he can do then them shooting their gun sideways and from stray bullets
 
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Elvis Hitler
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15 - 01-24-2018, 21:49
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Did he drop any sweet loot?
 
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GreyGhost
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16 - 01-24-2018, 22:37
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His loot box has been recovered.

 
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aScotiA
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17 - 01-24-2018, 22:39
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he told me i could have have his stuff, which is a lot of stuff from what i hear

give me the dogs and i'll be cool w that
 
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Brasstax
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18 - 01-25-2018, 01:49
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Wait - they said he might survive but he got his dick shot off. Some gangsta named "Butters" popped the caps.
 
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Smiling Canadian
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19 - 01-25-2018, 18:34
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Rumours of my demise and/or dick loss are patently untrue...
 
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samUwell
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20 - 01-25-2018, 18:35
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staged
 
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