How do you guys dry your ass?

If you are at a hotel I recommend getting completely naked and then straddling the edge of the bed, then slide all the way around the bed, pull the mattress off if needed. Use a pillow or three to get any moisture you missed

There are also sometimes hair dryers you can use. Just throw it at the window until the window breaks and then hang your spread ass cheeks outside into the now fresh breeze
 
i like to squeeze my sphincter in and out, and when you get good and strong at it, it's like breathing through your ass. if poop comes out, it's a bonus time saver
 
I think if you jump out of an airplane high enough the wet ass will freeze instantly and then start to sublimate

Not sure how long until completely dry but you might end up seeding a cloud made from your ass

Asssome
 
I am not sure that I want anything that lives in a hotel crawling up my bung. I remember pulling the sheets off and sliding my way around the edge straddling the mattress cover. I got really itchy for about a week. I am pretty sure it was bacteria from the hotel. I called them and complained that they should keep that shit cleaner but they didn't really care.
 
toilet+paper+sandpaper.jpg
 
I heard this works: put a good clay/charcoal mask all over your ass and junk. Let it sit for 15 minutes or so. Then, wash it off. Pat dry and lay somewhere with your legs open and ass cheeks spread out. You can use an old album cover, like Ah-Ha, Dead or Alive - something like that to waft air around down there until totally dry.
 
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