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Goshin
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181 - 04-15-2015, 12:25 PM
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Sounds good
 
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WarBuddha
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182 - 04-15-2015, 12:30 PM
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Okay, so how do I make this jailhouse burrito?
First you need a brick of ramen and a bag of chips. Chicken flavor is favored, but chili flavor is zestier and more likely to please a wetback palate. As for the chips, Doritos are usually the way to go, but regular potato chips or even Cheetos work. Cool Ranch Doritos and chicken-flavored ramen make a nice mellow blend. Nacho cheese Doritos and chili-flavored ramen bring the burn. The former would be served with a crisp Riesling or a Sauvignon Blanc, and the latter should be served with a spicy Shiraz or a California Zinfandel. You would, however, be in jail, *****, so you'll be drinking Pruno, if anything. Below are the steps to follow after making your chip and ramen selection, should you be lucky enough to have a choice. Make sure to do this out of your cell at one of the metal tables that are bolted to the concrete floor.
File:JapaneseDoritos.jpg
You won't see these in jail, weeaboo, but the packaging includes a helpful move you may need there.
Crunch up ramen, preferably with your calloused, tattooed knuckles. Pros don't break the package.
Pop Doritos open loudly, and crunch them to smithereens with your fingers.
Pour ramen bits and flavor pouch into Doritos bag. Don't worry, there's plenty of room. Doritos packages mostly contain air.
Bits of Slim Jims can be added for extra deliciousness.
Pour a standard coffee cup of hot water, avaiable from the single hot water tap in your pod, into the Doritos bag.
Stir with plastic spoon.
Roll the top of the Doritos bag over the rest of the bag, and roll your jail towel around the Doritos bag so that the burrito can steep properly.
Wait five minutes.
Open, stir, and enjoy with a plastic spoon, the only eating utensil you are allowed to have.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Jailhouse_burrito
 
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Plasmatic
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Old
183 - 04-15-2015, 01:22 PM
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Jailhouse burrito sounds like it involves penis.
 
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Plasmatic
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184 - 04-15-2015, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
See what you can do when you get rid of the boat and pool? Now you have money for toys you can use every day.
 
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Thingfish
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185 - 04-15-2015, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
See what you can do when you get rid of the boat and pool? Now you have money for toys you can use every day.
 
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WarBuddha
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186 - 04-15-2015, 05:18 PM
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That's the smartest thing he's ever said honestly, I don't know of bigger money pits than boats and pools.
 
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Plasmatic
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187 - 04-16-2015, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
They usually do pot. Doing meth is taking it to a whole new level.
 
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Plasmatic
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188 - 04-17-2015, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
I think the ranting would have been ok until she said, "I'm on TV" which brought her job into it. Oh well, she has nothing to worry about because of a pretty face (when the make up is on) and the hole.
 
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Plasmatic
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189 - 04-20-2015, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
The real one is how many different chicks you screwed in the same day, not counting being a porn star. I once did 3 and didn't even plan it. Did one girl at 1am, did another during the day, then Laurie shows up that night wanting to make up and get back together. It's either feast or famine. Now you won't get laid for a week.
 
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Thingfish
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190 - 04-20-2015, 03:21 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
They have nothing without language. They've taught chimps how to understand language with symbols connected to a computer, but they still can't talk.
 
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Plasmatic
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191 - 05-09-2015, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
Good job Mitch. Kentucky is Horse Capital of the USA. I've been to Lexington. No coasters but a great city.
Dollywood 2011

The difference here is the white trash adapts, and doesn't attack others.

The future problem I see, is when blacks invade GoFundMe and realize no one gives a **** about them. Then what? Affirmative action for GoFundMe? Same thing for your Muslim friends? They can go **** themselves.

GoFundMe will become a voting booth for which race you want to succeed.
 
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Odio
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Old
192 - 05-10-2015, 06:53 AM
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beaten
 
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coombz
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Old
193 - 05-11-2015, 04:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
He did that thing where you stick your mouth into a glass tube, suck all the air out, and it makes your lips big for 2 weeks.
 
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Goshin
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194 - 05-11-2015, 04:41 PM
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Lol
 
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ElectroWaffle
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195 - 05-11-2015, 05:17 PM
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coombz
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196 - 05-14-2015, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
They've invaded Kennywood. ****ing Kennywood.
ONLY ON 11: New cellphone video shows weekend fight at Kennywood | www.wpxi.com

Going back to segregation is the only answer. That's why they have their own cities while the whites move away to the suburbs. They usually avoid amusement parks. There must have been some "urban" event, it's happened at a couple other parks, where a fight broke out in the parking lot.
 
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ElectroWaffle
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197 - 05-14-2015, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
I'm not making this up. The ref can card a parent, then call the cops to have them removed.
 
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Vanster
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Old
198 - 05-14-2015, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
Is there a game this weekend? If so, bring your wife and have cell phones ready to record, including everyone you know. If you can get him to swing first, then you can claim self defense. But yeah, the cops would take both of you to jail, and then you'd have to hire a lawyer for 2k to get the charges dropped. It's a risk you're taking if the cops get involved.

But if it's just yelling and you can get it on camera, then you could post it on Liveleak. A GoPro on a tripod (or stick) would be good in this situation. It has a wide field of view, and if he comes at you, can bash him up side the head with it while recording that you were backing up. Tell everyone to keep their cameras steady so there's less camera shake. I want to see a good video this weekend with multiple angles.

Remember to keep your cool and he'll look like the aggressor.
 
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coombz
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Old
199 - 05-18-2015, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
Bought two more dash cams, $180 and remembered to use the link.
ngfm's ride is gonna have 360 degree dashcam vision
 
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StapleMammal1
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200 - 05-18-2015, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by WarBuddha View Post
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Jailhouse_burrito
Had that before in Jail. Traded that mess for some coffee with a quickness.
 
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