I've recently realized that I am indeed a homosexual, not bisexual. My girlfriend and I just had a rough break up because of this recent self-discovery. There is no more denying it.
I want to go over why I am choosing you and some examples of why I want you to be my partner:
1. You can cook. And you're good at it. You know all the extravagant sauces, spices, recipes etc. and probably make better food than any high-end restaurant could. We would never have to go out to eat, which would save us tons of money every month.
2. You are just plain cute. I can tell from your cow plates that you have an adorable taste in decorating. I love a man who knows how to furnish in a "theme" (you probably have cow bowls, saucers, etc.) without being tacky about it. That is quite rare these days, we can have some fun trips at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
3. You are athletic. I have been reading your threads about your cycling and hiking adventures. I've been looking at the pictures and searching on google but I can't find out where you live
. I love a man that takes care of his body and you seem to do just that.
4. You are intelligent. Your vast knowledge of military weaponry and history is quite impressive. I mostly only know about getting drunk and dancing at Woody's Bar in Philly, but hey, opposites attract right?
5. Not only are you intelligent, you are witty. I have seen some of the arguments you get with some of the gay bashers on the site. You are very short with them, and show your superiority by using capitalization and perfect punctuation. You never let anyone get under your skin and your rebuttals always attack a major character flaw that the other person has, leaving them with their tail in between their legs.
6. You are mysterious. We really don't know too much about you, that's probably what makes you so damn attractive. You only have one picture that was taken years ago, (which you were pretty hot in by the way), and that's all we have to associate with your user name. Some people turn this place into their livejournal and give us a perfect image of themselves. Your image on the other hand is clouded by mystery and sexual uncertainy.
7. You are probably gay and don't know it yet. That's why I want you to realize that you are gay. Think about it, you don't find any women attractive on this board and you only "like" girls with flat chests. Guess who else have flat chests? Men. I shave my chest too so it's almost identical to the women that you have crushes on. You also like girls with short hair... guess who else has short hair? Men. I can look like Natalie Imbruglia for you baby if you really want. Seriously look deep down inside yourself and come to terms with it.
I have a lot of money and can take you under my wing. I know you're having a hard time with your mother dying and all, but I can make it all better. I have a huge apartment in Philadelphia. I will pay for all of your expenses: rent, telephone, electic, water, you name it. The only thing I want in return is some household furnishing (I'll give you my credit card), laundary to be done every other day, cleaning, and of course, cooking. I know you may be uncomfortable with the arrangement at first so I'm not asking for a sexual relationship whatsoever. Let's just go in on this as "friends", and as I introduce you to some of my friends and take you bar hopping, maybe a relationship could evolve.
You're probably wondering why I'm willing to spend so much on you. I am an editor for a major magazine (I don't want to give too much info out on TW) and I'd be more than happy to share my wealth with you. Please consider this offer and get back to me.
Oh yea all the haters on here, fuck you. You're all probably gay too and don't even realize it... yet.
I want to go over why I am choosing you and some examples of why I want you to be my partner:
1. You can cook. And you're good at it. You know all the extravagant sauces, spices, recipes etc. and probably make better food than any high-end restaurant could. We would never have to go out to eat, which would save us tons of money every month.
2. You are just plain cute. I can tell from your cow plates that you have an adorable taste in decorating. I love a man who knows how to furnish in a "theme" (you probably have cow bowls, saucers, etc.) without being tacky about it. That is quite rare these days, we can have some fun trips at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
3. You are athletic. I have been reading your threads about your cycling and hiking adventures. I've been looking at the pictures and searching on google but I can't find out where you live
. I love a man that takes care of his body and you seem to do just that.4. You are intelligent. Your vast knowledge of military weaponry and history is quite impressive. I mostly only know about getting drunk and dancing at Woody's Bar in Philly, but hey, opposites attract right?
5. Not only are you intelligent, you are witty. I have seen some of the arguments you get with some of the gay bashers on the site. You are very short with them, and show your superiority by using capitalization and perfect punctuation. You never let anyone get under your skin and your rebuttals always attack a major character flaw that the other person has, leaving them with their tail in between their legs.
6. You are mysterious. We really don't know too much about you, that's probably what makes you so damn attractive. You only have one picture that was taken years ago, (which you were pretty hot in by the way), and that's all we have to associate with your user name. Some people turn this place into their livejournal and give us a perfect image of themselves. Your image on the other hand is clouded by mystery and sexual uncertainy.
7. You are probably gay and don't know it yet. That's why I want you to realize that you are gay. Think about it, you don't find any women attractive on this board and you only "like" girls with flat chests. Guess who else have flat chests? Men. I shave my chest too so it's almost identical to the women that you have crushes on. You also like girls with short hair... guess who else has short hair? Men. I can look like Natalie Imbruglia for you baby if you really want. Seriously look deep down inside yourself and come to terms with it.
I have a lot of money and can take you under my wing. I know you're having a hard time with your mother dying and all, but I can make it all better. I have a huge apartment in Philadelphia. I will pay for all of your expenses: rent, telephone, electic, water, you name it. The only thing I want in return is some household furnishing (I'll give you my credit card), laundary to be done every other day, cleaning, and of course, cooking. I know you may be uncomfortable with the arrangement at first so I'm not asking for a sexual relationship whatsoever. Let's just go in on this as "friends", and as I introduce you to some of my friends and take you bar hopping, maybe a relationship could evolve.
You're probably wondering why I'm willing to spend so much on you. I am an editor for a major magazine (I don't want to give too much info out on TW) and I'd be more than happy to share my wealth with you. Please consider this offer and get back to me.
Oh yea all the haters on here, fuck you. You're all probably gay too and don't even realize it... yet.
