A little background:
Megan and I dated for about 4 months. About 6 weeks ago, it became apparent that we weren't really going anywhere as a couple, so we ended it. It was mutual and in no way left any bad blood. She's a cool chick to hang out with so we keep in touch pretty regularly. Her new boyfriend as of about a month ago is a smarmy, cocky, maggot dicked mother****er named Seth. He is a coworker of hers, hated by her friends and despised by just about everyone that meets him. I don't see any redeeming qualities about him (except maybe his flexibility) so I seriously don't know what the hell she is doing with him.
Today I called Megan, who is out of town on business, to ask her if I could stop by her house to get some of my DVDs that she still has. She said it would be no problem, so off I went to her place.
There was another car that I didn't recognize in her driveway, and I assumed it was a friend of hers charged with taking care of her dogs and cats while Megan is away. It didn't even cross my mind that it could have been Seth.
I went inside and didn't see anyone in the first couple of rooms. I figured that whomever it was might be outside playing with Megan's dogs. The house is set up in such a way that from her bedroom it is hard to hear if someone comes down the hallway. This was unfortunate for Seth because her bedroom is where my DVDs were.
When I walked into her bedroom, this is what I was greeted with:
I can only approximate the sheer look of terror and disgust on my face at what I saw-- good ol' ****dick Seth was furiously sucking his own dick with a vibrator (one I bought for Megan, mind you) shoved in his ass. On the floor beside him were a couple pair of Megan's panties. I yelled 'WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?!' and Seth just about broke his neck trying to get up and scramble away. He stuttered something incoherent and darted past me out of the room. He was too shocked to even grab his pants and I was too shocked to do much of anything at first.
I picked up his pants, fished Megan's house key out of his pocket and went to the living room where I saw him deperately trying to unlock the door. I threw his pants at him, opened the door and literally kicked him out.
I yelled "Get the **** out of here and don't let me EVER catch you NEAR Megan again!" He replied with a hearty "**** YOU!" as he ran to his car. Mine was parked behind his, so I naturally went to move it. He said "If you tell her I will kick your ass!" I started laughing so hard I could hardly see straight. He said "I'm serious I'll kick your ass!" I told him that he was insane if he thought I WASN'T going to tell EVERYONE I could find, including random people on the street.
By this time he had his pants on and I guess he was feeling brave and cocky because he picked up one of the bricks lining Megan's driveway and threw it at me, missing by a mile. This made me laugh even harder which set him off and he started yelling and cursing even more. He picked up another brick and started to come at me so I reached into my car and grabbed a machete, gave him the Stare Of Death and said "Bring it on, *****."
He got the message, dropped the brick and got into his car. I moved mine and let him drive away.
The thing that really pissed me off, aside from the blatant invasion of Megan's privacy and the sheer perversion of what he did, was the fact that Megan's 12 year old sister could have walked in at any moment to find him there. She comes over to Megan's after school to play with the dogs, and all of this happened very close to her usual arrival time. I shudder to think what would have happened to the poor kid had she found Seth like that.
Of course I fully expect there to be some major fallout over all this. Seth has been known to make totally absurd and ridiculous threats (including death!) against people he feels wronged him. Of course I'm absolutely petrified. I can't wait to see how Seth tries to weasel his way out of this one with Megan. I tried to call her right after it happened, but she was in a meeting. I don't know if Seth has tried to contact her to make a pre-emptive strike against me or anything.
Hell, if I could suck my own dick I probably would, but come on... Seth went just a tad overboard. And for those curious, he wasn't all that hung, just very flexible.
Edit: New developments on page 7!
Edit: 2nd update on page 10!
Edit: update on page 15! Seth wins the first round!
Edit: Seth's demise is at hand! Page 18!
Edit: SUPER MEGA UPDATE Megan talks to Seth! Seth freaks out! Pahuyuth in danger! Cops! Photos!
Edit: Recorded phone threat! Pictures of damage to car! Page 25!
Edit: Cops! Swords! Page 28!
EDIT: THE (FINAL?) SHOWDOWN! PAGE 29!
EDIT: CLOSURE???? Page 36!
EDIT: POLICE REPORTS! PAGE 37!