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Reload this Page {army/marineguys}E5 and above please
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ktm
VeteranXX
Old
21 - 03-17-2005, 14:18
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You are right, I was never in the military, but I have been around them most of my life. An old girlfriend of mine's father was an E8, and he and her mother were happily married for over 20 years. Three of my close friends are in the military, all E5+, and they are all happily married. On the other hand, my father was quite insensitive and did not listen to my mother. They divorced after 20 years of marriage and he was not in the military.

You are just looking to displace the blame for your problem. Then again, you have a history on this forum of displaying a victim mentality.
 
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AntagoniStick
VeteranX
Old
22 - 03-17-2005, 14:18
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Quote:
did the military make you an insensitive person, especially regarding your spouse?

I often find myself unable to fully focus on my wifes problems because i think they are too petty, she calls me unemotional. when i do try to offer help it is often criticism(sp) From dealing with soldiers in the past I think i have built up a emotional wall and I really just know how to give orders and have the "suck it up" attitude
Quote:
I will also state that the military didnt make me who i am
 
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Mr Jimmy Pop
VeteranXX
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Old
23 - 03-17-2005, 14:22
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8 years active? you do 12 years in a reserve unit and get yourself a nice little retirement check. Plus, you miss the military, admit it. I know I did and that was why i joined the ANG a year and a half fter i got out. Still love the Guard.


What state are you from? KC-135 units get the best 2 week trips.
 
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Rambro
VeteranXV
Old
24 - 03-17-2005, 14:27
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I tried to go guard but Bush has lost his mind. also here in philly it is totally dif than reg army people wear timberlands and goldchains in uniform for gods sake.
 
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Rambro
VeteranXV
Old
25 - 03-17-2005, 14:30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AntagoniStick
.
yes my initial post didnt quite come out as clear as i wanted it to. I apologize and i will never try to have a meaningful personal discussion here again
 
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Data
VeteranXX
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Old
26 - 03-17-2005, 14:36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trusk|llz
yes my initial post didnt quite come out as clear as i wanted it to. I apologize and i will never try to have a meaningful personal discussion here again
Way to contradict yourself. Didn't you say you were expecting the trolls just one page ago?

You've only had 25 replies in your thread, dude. Give it a chance.
 
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Love
Old
27 - 03-17-2005, 14:37
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There are a bunch of idiots here. Don't pay them any mind. Most of them have no idea about the psychological impact that accompanies being in the military, not to mention that they're emotionally-void.

Yes, the military mentality that develops after being in the service can be a serious block in a marriage. There is a certain callousness (not unlike here at TW) that develops; and while it is helpful in the field, it is harmful on the homefront.

I certainly experienced a major change in behavior and attitude after joining the service, and noticed similar changes in others who served with me.
 
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Firerizer
VeteranXX
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Old
28 - 03-17-2005, 14:59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trusk|llz
did the military make you an insensitive person, especially regarding your spouse?

I often find myself unable to fully focus on my wifes problems because i think they are too petty, she calls me unemotional. when i do try to offer help it is often criticism(sp) From dealing with soldiers in the past I think i have built up a emotional wall and I really just know how to give orders and have the "suck it up" attitude
Your attitude is what you make of it.
In 20 or so years your military career will be closing.
Your wife may still be with you? Then again, maybe not.
Your choice soldier.
 
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Lethal_E
VeteranX
Old
29 - 03-17-2005, 15:23
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It's a mental thing. Things most people worry about ARE petty. I mean if you were to stop and think about what worries you... most of the daily things are minute in the grand scheme of things. Most people go their whole life without realizing that.

Pretend as if your wife is the most respected Officer you know. (if it'll help keep you in check).
 
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arcadus
VeteranXX
Old
30 - 03-17-2005, 15:25
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my dad was an E5 in the marines in vietnam

he turned out fine
 
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Love
Old
31 - 03-17-2005, 15:47
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(P.S. Be careful when people say their parents are "fine," or that they have been "happily" married for X number of years ... in some cases -- not all, or even most -- they're so screwed up themselves, that their opinion of what is "fine" or "happy" is completely unhelpful. I've met quite a few people who are like that.)
 
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Keeper
VeteranXX
Old
32 - 03-17-2005, 17:43
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It has more to do with your ability to "tune out" things. We have all been chewed out for silly things or done the chewing ourselves you learn to tune out what you perceive as "petty" or just plain stupid. Its just something that happens. I cannot say its a good thing all time I know for a fact some things my wife says I just plain ignore or just grunt and agree....one of these days it will get me in trouble I am sure....

I also notice I have a totally different outlook on things then my wife does. Things that drive her nuts I can just blow off or laugh about.

Most people that haven't served cannot relate to the life style changes you go through when you serve for a long period of time (over 5 years) you get so used to that way of life that once you get out/retire/medical whatever you truly miss it. I know I do.......
 
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]FO[chocobo
Banned
Old
33 - 03-17-2005, 17:56
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ktm
VeteranXX
Old
34 - 03-17-2005, 18:12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper
Most people that haven't served cannot relate to the life style changes you go through when you serve for a long period of time (over 5 years) you get so used to that way of life that once you get out/retire/medical whatever you truly miss it. I know I do.......
Like what? I was a BRAT for most of my young life. I moved every 1 to 5 years. I attended 5 elementaries, 1 middle school and 2 high schools. I worked fo AAFES for 2.5 years on a military housing community in Mainz, Germany while in high school. What exactly is so different about the way of life aside from combat. Now, if you were talking specifically about combat I can understand, but every day life is no different than a job once you get into your MOS.
 
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Keeper
VeteranXX
Old
35 - 03-17-2005, 20:10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KtM
Like what? I was a BRAT for most of my young life. I moved every 1 to 5 years. I attended 5 elementaries, 1 middle school and 2 high schools. I worked fo AAFES for 2.5 years on a military housing community in Mainz, Germany while in high school. What exactly is so different about the way of life aside from combat. Now, if you were talking specifically about combat I can understand, but every day life is no different than a job once you get into your MOS.
You having been around the military all your life also have a different view then the folks that haven't.

As for what is different aside from combat? Well I guess it would depend on your assignments. If you were Strategic i.e. office work all the time then sure...its like a 9 to 5. But I wasn't, I served with 18th Abn Corps, 1st SFG(A) and the 82nd. All of those units were more tactical oriented then say...someone at Field Station Berlin.

So I guess just the stress of being on 2 - 6 hour recall for years on end, having the responsibility of somones life everytime I was a jumpmaster for a jump, or any other of our not always so smart antics changed my view of the World...and none of that compares to what the folks are dealing with now.
 
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ktm
VeteranXX
Old
36 - 03-17-2005, 20:38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper
You having been around the military all your life also have a different view then the folks that haven't.

As for what is different aside from combat? Well I guess it would depend on your assignments. If you were Strategic i.e. office work all the time then sure...its like a 9 to 5. But I wasn't, I served with 18th Abn Corps, 1st SFG(A) and the 82nd. All of those units were more tactical oriented then say...someone at Field Station Berlin.

So I guess just the stress of being on 2 - 6 hour recall for years on end, having the responsibility of somones life everytime I was a jumpmaster for a jump, or any other of our not always so smart antics changed my view of the World...and none of that compares to what the folks are dealing with now.
Exactly, and this was my point. It really depends on your assignment, as it would in the working world as well. Was I on a 2 - 6 hour recall? Nope, but then again I worked 70 to 90 hours a week for months on end by myself in a professionally hostile environment. You don't think I developed a "suck it up" attitude? My point being is that it is not only a military thing but a combination of sex, working environment, etc.

All this goes out the window once you start talking about combat situations.
 
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