There appear to be five men in Golazo the Great's group, six including Golazo himself. None appear to be spellcasters, just simple warrior stooges.

The reason this is D&D Lite Ztir is we're all kind of winging it rather than follow actual rules. I have no clue what the actual protocol is, but whatever it's for entertainment.

Oh you're right Meyog, I must've missed the post the first time. I'll start working on the next write up after lunch.

Squeee

Waffles leaps from the table he is standing on, hops onto the heads of stunned patrons and skips from head to head to the bar, where he whips out his cock and begins an attempt to douse the fire before it gets out of hand.

Originally Posted by Fool

There appear to be five men in Golazo the Great's group, six including Golazo himself. None appear to be spellcasters, just simple warrior stooges.

The reason this is D&D Lite Ztir is we're all kind of winging it rather than follow actual rules. I have no clue what the actual protocol is, but whatever it's for entertainment.

General format is usually: You describe the scene. Players tell you what we want to do. If the player does something which would require skill or a special ability to complete, you determine the success, then narrate the results. But, without character sheets, there aren't character stats, abilities, equipment or anything, so... how you go about determining success is sort of foggy.

edit: I suppose you could just guess how hard something is, which is called a difficulty check (DC), and roll a random d20 against the DC score. For example. Electrowaffle's stunt, leaping from the table, hopping from head to head, could be a DC15 (30% chance of success) or DC10 (55%)

The way D&D works is you have stats in strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Ten is usually considered an average attribute score for commoners. If you had a 19 strength, like Swollins, he'd get a +4 added to a strength DC roll. But he's pretty ****ing stupid, with an Intelligence of 7, so any DC check against his intelligence, he'd get a -2 modifier.

yea

stats!

Goshin, Meyog and Doggor

Black smoke began to fill the room, the air grew thick and hot. A scrum formed at the main door as panicked patrons scrambled to escape. A cask behind the bar exploded, showering the mob with flaming liquid and scraps of burning wood. The Dragonborn pushed through the smaller humans with ease, tossing those aside who blocked his path to the exit. The Halfling and Half-Elf he was with followed close behind in a mad dash for escape.

Goshin burst forth from the inn, stepping over people who were still scrambling for safety. Meyog and Doggor were right behind him, and they made their way over to Maggie who was clearly frightened from the commotion. They saw the blond soldier from earlier ordering two of his men to help the escaping citizenry before plunging into the burning inn by himself. Meyog noted that of the six guardsmen they saw before, three were no longer present, their horses gone as well.

Swollins, Ztir, and Skittlebrew

With a roar, Swollins leapt forward at Golazo the Great. He held no weapon other than his giant fists, but they would have no trouble wrenching the little scrub’s arms from their sockets. Golazo’s men jumped to their feet and drew their blades, intent on protecting their leader. From out of nowhere, a pewter mug sailed through the air and smashed Golazo in the face, knocking him to the floor just as Swollins lunged at him. Momentum carried the big man directly into two of the foreigner’s men. With a crash they fell onto the table behind them, one man knocked out and the other struggling with the weight of Swollins on top of him.

A third man spotted the source of the mug that had hit Golazo, a brash dwarf standing on a table, war axe in hand. Leaping over the entangled bodies of the brawl, he charged at the dwarf. The fourth of Golazo’s company swung his broadsword at Ztir’s head, connecting with flawless technique and cutting cleanly through the large man’s face. So cleanly that it took him a moment to realize that there was no blood, that he had felt no resistance on his blade, and that the large man was still standing. Alarmed, he spun around, wildly searching for the source of the illusion.

Opfor

Opfor watched the ensuing chaos with a gleam in his eye. He might not need to worry about the large man for much longer. From his vantage point above the fight, he hoped to see his competition snuffed out before the race even began. Lieutenant Prowell came charging through the front door, no doubt to rescue him from the inferno. A solid, reliable man, but too moral for Opfor’s tastes. He would need to be . . . replaced. At least at some point.

Smoke was filling the room quickly. His eyes stung and began to water. Perhaps it was time to make an escape, but the fight below was getting interesting. Prowell crossed the room, passing the strange sight of a gnome struggling to climb up on the main bar, urine streaming down his leg. “Lord Opfor!” Prowell coughed. “We need to get you to safety, the fire is climbing the outer wall. The whole inn will be aflame in minutes!”

Opfor was not pleased.

"come and get some, you fatherless son of a whore!"

I am going to meet the man charging at me, head on, bringing my axe down on him in a, two hand grip, vertical chopping motion.

I really want to breathe lightning at the entrance lol
How many civilians are near the entrance

Despite being a giant of a man, my combat skills leave much to be desired(not much time to practice fighting when you are lifting, eating or banging every waking hour of your life), forcing my character to rely on sneakiness to prevail in physical confrontations. As the man turns around in bewilderment, I stab him in the neck with my dagger

Waffles decides pissing on everything isn't working. Waffles tucks cock into trousers and heads towards the building's front door to exit.

I love how calm waffles is about this.

Gnomes are pretty casual about things exploding.

Originally Posted by Goshin

I really want to breathe lightning at the entrance lol
How many civilians are near the entrance

They're scattering fairly quickly, but a small bucket brigade is gathering in a futile effort to save the building.

Would it be possible to hit the building without hitting civilians? Any alley ways around the building without anyone in them that I can tell?

When I cast spells random **** happens by the way.
I'll pm you the relevant info/spirit of the quirk

Scales y u do dis

The Busted Pig is not on a prime corner location, it's wedged amongst other stores and shops along an avenue. There are narrow alleys in between the buildings, about 3 feet wide. You could possibly hit the building without hitting civilians if you aimed for the higher floor.

sounds like we're gonna have to put scales down old yeller style