Its time to reinvent the standard house toilet

R

Rigel

Veteran XX
They're uncomfortable, too short, ugly as shit, and strictly functional.

Strictly functional.

What the fuck? This is America dammit, that thing should have sprouted a plush leather seat, cup holder and built in entertainment center by now. I can pin-point the furthest back gray hair on John Stewart's hair, with a 1080i while sitting in complete cacophonous 5.1 sound on imported Italian fur, but my shitter is a uncomfortable mass of carved porcelain?

I'm currently taking suggestions for my new design.
 
toilets are the way they are because they're really easy to clean.

I don't know why you'd want a plush leather seat that you might get poop on.
 
make something that creates a pressure seal around the seat to your ass cheeks. You take a shit and then the toilet goes into an intense dishwasher style wash cycle for a couple of minutes and then a dry cycle where warm air (like those hand dryers) blows your ass dry.
 
Yeah a lot of eastern toilets are just holes in the ground that you squat over and sometimes double as a shower.
 
I wish we had enough money to own a real toilet. We buy these special bags and use those. Sometimes I go to the gas station to use the toilet. It's a nice change, but the employes give me weird looks.
 
I've always thought about this. I mean here we are in the year 2008, the human genome has been mapped, we've made huge technological advances everywhere, yet we still sit down on a porcelain bowl to drop a shit and then wipe our asses with paper. There's got to be a better way. I just don't know what it would be.
 
Oktane said:
I've always thought about this. I mean here we are in the year 2008, the human genome has been mapped, we've made huge technological advances everywhere, yet we still sit down on a porcelain bowl to drop a shit and then wipe our asses with paper. There's got to be a better way. I just don't know what it would be.
Click to expand...
The future is in squatting.
 
tech_toilet.jpg


:lol:

this is about as advanced as it gets i think
http://medialunch.blogspot.com/2007/07/google-super-toilet-9000.html
 
on a somewhat related note, I'd love to get my hands... err, ass, on one of these sweet carbon fiber toilets.

carbon-fiber-toilet.jpg


carbon-fiber-toilet-seat-cover.jpg
 
i was honestly giving this some thought the other day. i was thinking it would be neat to have a toilet that sucked the shit out of your ass. i'm not sure how this could be safely done but there are some days when i wish i could just fish that last little piece of doodie out of my ass. you know the one, the one that makes you sit there for another 10 minutes until it comes out or smears the fuck out of the toilet paper and gives you swamp ass if you're too impatient to wait for it.

seriously, how does it work in space?
 
Wendel said:
i was honestly giving this some thought the other day. i was thinking it would be neat to have a toilet that sucked the shit out of your ass. i'm not sure how this could be safely done but there are some days when i wish i could just fish that last little piece of doodie out of my ass. you know the one, the one that makes you sit there for another 10 minutes until it comes out or smears the fuck out of the toilet paper and gives you swamp ass if you're too impatient to wait for it.
Click to expand...

yeah those are the worst. Either you sit there and wipe forever, to the point that your asshole is raw and bleeding, or you sit there and try to push that last little bit out, which usually leads to inflamed hemmorhoidal tissues. Or you just call it good but then you kinda feel nasty for the rest of the day. It's like a lose/lose/lose scenario.
 
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