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Smiling Canadian
VeteranX
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1 - 09-13-2020, 21:11
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So I got arrested yesterday for assault, forcible confinement, uttering threats and assault causing bodily harm.

I caught 2 Indians (feather) killing 4 of my cows and cutting the tenderloins out and leaving the rest of the cow. I happened to be in an adjacent coulee in my deer stand when I heard the shots. 22 mag to keep the noise down. I put a sneak on them, cut the tires on their truck (stolen btw) and then moved up and smashed the first squaw ****er in the noodle with a shovel from the back of their truck and kicked ****face number 2 in his redskin mouth. ******* number 1 went to sleep pretty hard but #2 took a few more head stomps and face kicks to put down.

Call police. Use paracord from my pack to hogtie assholes. Wait 45 mins for police. Call back and ask if they are coming or whats the story? Am asked "oh are they still there?" Yes I have them detained waiting for you to pick them up. Cumdumpster on the phone says "OMG you can't keep them against their will. You will be charged with kidnapping if you don't release them right now."
I said well you had best hurry up and get here otherwise I cut them open and let the wolves take care of the problem.

Another 55 minutes passes and 3 police cars show up with 4 cops. Explain what happened. ******* #1 pipes up about the white man stole this land blah, blah, blah. I turn to him and say shut up squaw ****er you're lucky I didn't just kill you and leave you for the coyotes.

Cops load dopey and stupid in 2 cars and I say well I'm off to see about bagging a deer before it gets too dark. They tell me I'm under arrest for assault and ****. OK boys if thats how this is going to play out I guess thats how she goes. Call my lawyer and a few friends on the trip to the station. Can't see a JP until this morning because I know the local JP so they bring 1 from Calgary. Released around noon on $500 bail.

Moral of the story is Canada is now an unflushed toilet run by sewer rats. If the charges don't go away by the end of business tomorrow there will be a number of vacant positions within law enforcement and the justice system soon. My country is beyond redemption now.
 
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Pagy
VeteranXX
Old
2 - 09-13-2020, 21:14
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youre still my hero and despite your country shiiting on you, those pieces of **** got it good.
 
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havax
VeteranXV
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Old
3 - 09-13-2020, 21:16
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that is ****ed, man. sorry, bro.

should have just shot those ****ers and buried them in the pasture.
 
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LGBR
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4 - 09-13-2020, 21:17
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smiling canadian about to go full law-abiding-citizen

**** yeah
 
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Mr Jimmy Pop
VeteranXX
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Old
5 - 09-13-2020, 21:23
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How dare you defend your property.


I’d say move south to the land of the free, but we’re just as ****ed in that department. At least you know what to do next time.
 
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Smiling Canadian
VeteranX
Old
6 - 09-13-2020, 21:23
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BTW I forgot to add that I am way too old for this kind of ****ery. I didn't have to go hands on too much but **** me I'm sore all over.
 
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Brasstax
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Old
7 - 09-13-2020, 21:24
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SC - I am so sorry you are having to go through this BS.
And it is. Pure and utter BS.
I am at a loss of words of advice or wisdom for you.
I can tell you one thing, you did nothing wrong.
I don't understand what some of these assholes expect us to do?
Do they want us to fortify and figure out clever ways to dispose of varmints?

This was simple - they should be paying for your property and they should be put away for a long time.

I suppose you could work on perimeter defense and information systems. I really, really want to work on a drone defense system with IR, 24/7 multi drone coverage, auto recharging, alerts etc. Just need to get my ass out of PDX and out onto some land. Not long.
 
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Last edited by Brasstax; 09-13-2020 at 21:27..
Flash
VeteranXX
Old
8 - 09-13-2020, 21:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LGBR View Post
smiling canadian about to go full law-abiding-citizen

**** yeah
Lol my thoughts exactly
 
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Brasstax
VeteranXX
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Old
9 - 09-13-2020, 21:30
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In a twist - it is usually the white guy getting blamed for not using all the parts of an animal. Hmmmm. 180
 
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Data
VeteranXX
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Old
10 - 09-13-2020, 21:38
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You should have just killed them and buried them in the woods. Burned their stolen vehicle and forgotten about it. Canada is cucked, and you got to see it first hand. Bet you won't make that mistake again.
 
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Edofnor
VeteranXX
Old
11 - 09-13-2020, 22:06
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man, i thought it was bad when i had to deal w/ squirrels stealing my veggies

i rly wanted 2 go medieval on the lil ****er who got glued, but i wound up shooting it like the others

anyway u kno how it is

everything is ****ed

everybody sucks
 
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Edofnor
VeteranXX
Old
12 - 09-13-2020, 22:08
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btw it was always an unflushed toilet run by sewer rats (same w/ every government on the planet), it's just now the bowl's overflowing in2 ur living room
 
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Edofnor
VeteranXX
Old
13 - 09-13-2020, 22:14
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speaking of clogged toilets, u should have roto rootered those gut eaters

"EVER HEARD OF ABNER LOUIMA?"
 
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Edofnor
VeteranXX
Old
14 - 09-13-2020, 22:15
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btw what's it like living inside red dead redemption?
 
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Brasstax
VeteranXX
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15 - 09-13-2020, 22:24
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I was just making some dinner and cracked up at the different realities that SC and the dip**** cops he called are from. I am picturing them as pretty much kids. Probably drinking a latte. Far, far removed from the world that SC grew up and participated in.

Him calling back and saying "Well? You gonna pick these two up? And them like "uhhhhh". No idea that he single-handedly took them into custody and had them hog-tied. Too ****ing funny. Even funnier that they were armed and while he could have been, he used their shovel. I think he should get a medal for that.

Maybe a "long and good service" medal


But, with a big dangly set of hairy balls on it.
 
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Last edited by Brasstax; 09-13-2020 at 22:33..
Quaduce
VeteranXX
Old
16 - 09-13-2020, 22:35
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I would have told them to settle brown
 
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SeVeReD
VeteranXX
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17 - 09-13-2020, 22:41
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Think of the Cows!!1


Dang waste
 
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amRam
VeteranXX
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Old
18 - 09-13-2020, 22:42
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Things that never happened for $500 please
 
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Brasstax
VeteranXX
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Old
19 - 09-13-2020, 22:42
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He's probably trying to save the meat right now.
 
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Captain Tele
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Immigrant
Old
20 - 09-13-2020, 23:11
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...
 
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Last edited by Captain Tele; 09-14-2020 at 19:54..
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