haniblecter
Veteran XX
Eve Tribune #5, Year 2 - True Eve Horror Stories
Great read:
True Eve Horror Stories
The Worst Battleship... Ever.
It was a cold and bitter January morning in the region of Immensea to the middle-south of 0.0 space. Things were lively that morning, as my mixed gang of eight other ships cruised towards the outpost of our sworn enemies, one of the Russian Alliances allied with Red Alliance.
They had been bothering us extensively of late, sending several nigh-uncatchable Nano-Domis through our space to prey on unwary ratters or miners. The speed of such designs meant they were impossible to destroy without a coordinated and specially prepared gang sent out to hunt them.
We were that gang.
So as the fleet moved in for our Enemy’s home system in pursuit of one Nano-Domi, we had high hopes of a straight and honorable fight, with ship on ship instead of what seemingly was their standard procedure of ‘Log-Off, until you outnumber the enemy 10:1. And even then consider running away some more’.
The Dominix tried to challenge us, as we approached his station. Somewhat foolishly, he charged into the middle of our formation before the rest of his larger gang even had a chance to undock. He was instantly pasted by cruise missiles teamed up with four stasis-webbifiers. His fitting was not bad. It was merely expensive, and he flew it like an idiot. I didn’t mind the recovery of a fine new faction MWD.
Next, came a ‘Nano-Raven’ of a shockingly bad design. Cruising at only 3200km/s, he was firing what appeared to be a mix of torpedoes and heavy missiles at us. Going alone still, he too became dust under the fire of two battleships and their accompanying support cruisers and frigates.
A third contender undocked, still in their ‘one-at-a-time’ fashion. It was of all things, a mere Ferox this time. He was fitted apparently in a conventional, yet incredibly expensive fashion. This one happened to be packing several ‘Heavy Missile Launcher IIs’ for some inexplicable reason, attempting to fight off eight enemy ships. I wondered idly why he didn’t’ just sell two of those launchers and upgrade to a Drake instead. As he evaporated, I didn’t mind helping myself to the salvage.
Nothing would prepare us for the horror of what undocked last of their rag-tag gang, sent out without coordination or even basic sense. It all seemed to be mindless adherence to that latest craze to make everything go fast on an MWD without actually thinking on why they were doing such.
This last ship appeared now before us. It was but a single Abbadon, the newest Tier 3 Amarr Battleship. Massive and fierce, it was well known as a potent tanker and capable ganker as well with thick armor and deadly laser broadsides. We were ready to do battle with it, and absorb what lasers it threw at us from it’s eight turrets.
At least, most of the eight turrets had lasers. This one was opening fire on us with what looked like hybrid turrets. Railguns from the looks of things. A few laser blasts lanced out from it as well, damaging one of the support cruisers. It soon fell under the bombardment of our gang and tackled, shortly before exploding in a blue cloud. The killmail arrived shortly after, and everyone was curious to see what it had fitted.
What we saw was shocking. The names here have been replaced to protect the guilty.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2007.01.14 20:26
Victim: CENSORED
Alliance: CENSOREDSKI
Corp: CENSORED YET AGAIN
Destroyed: Abaddon
System: E8-YS9
Security: 0.0
Destroyed items:
Radio M
250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Emergency Damage Control I
Energized Basic Adaptive Nano Plating
Large F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction
Local Power Plant Manager: Reaction Shield Power Relay I
'Accord' I Core Compensation
Ultraviolet M
Local Hull Conversion Overdrive Injector I
Iridium Charge M, Qty: 753 (Cargo)
Seeker F.O.F. Light Missile I, Qty: 122 (Cargo)
Iridium Charge M, Qty: 40
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That’s right. Someone had actually fitted the new Amarr Battleship with not only railguns… but expensive named Cruiser-sized railguns backed up by a few expensive named Cruiser sized lasers! Lower on the list was an additionally horrifying find. Not only did he use the most basic and poor armor of tanking modules, but he also attempted to combine it with a shield tank, using cruiser-sized Extenders, violating almost ever rule of common decency and simple sense. However did such a pilot ever live long enough to buy such an expensive battleship?
Almost shocked beyond belief, I read the rest of the list. This pilot apparently packed one named Warp Core Stabilizer, meaning he intended to fight in this monsterously poor battleship. And not only that, he packed an Overdrive Injector, commonly considered one of the poorest modules in the game. No ship ever has a use for that module. Lastly for some utterly bizarre reason, he had light missiles in his cargo hold.
I feared for my sanity should someone open his wreck and actually see that he had fitted a frigate-sized missile launcher on that 180 million ISK deathtrap, but thankfully we had decided to send our most fearless gang member to loot the wreck and incinerate what was left.
And so we left back for our home base. The fearsome Rail-ShieldTank-Overdrive-Stabbed-Abbadon still lingered in our collective minds, haunting our dreams with its complete uselessness. We sped home at full drive, stunned by what had transpired. Still, I knew we had done the world a great service that day.
We had vanquished what had to have been the worst fitted battleship ever.
-Aries
Great read:
True Eve Horror Stories
The Worst Battleship... Ever.
It was a cold and bitter January morning in the region of Immensea to the middle-south of 0.0 space. Things were lively that morning, as my mixed gang of eight other ships cruised towards the outpost of our sworn enemies, one of the Russian Alliances allied with Red Alliance.
They had been bothering us extensively of late, sending several nigh-uncatchable Nano-Domis through our space to prey on unwary ratters or miners. The speed of such designs meant they were impossible to destroy without a coordinated and specially prepared gang sent out to hunt them.
We were that gang.
So as the fleet moved in for our Enemy’s home system in pursuit of one Nano-Domi, we had high hopes of a straight and honorable fight, with ship on ship instead of what seemingly was their standard procedure of ‘Log-Off, until you outnumber the enemy 10:1. And even then consider running away some more’.
The Dominix tried to challenge us, as we approached his station. Somewhat foolishly, he charged into the middle of our formation before the rest of his larger gang even had a chance to undock. He was instantly pasted by cruise missiles teamed up with four stasis-webbifiers. His fitting was not bad. It was merely expensive, and he flew it like an idiot. I didn’t mind the recovery of a fine new faction MWD.
Next, came a ‘Nano-Raven’ of a shockingly bad design. Cruising at only 3200km/s, he was firing what appeared to be a mix of torpedoes and heavy missiles at us. Going alone still, he too became dust under the fire of two battleships and their accompanying support cruisers and frigates.
A third contender undocked, still in their ‘one-at-a-time’ fashion. It was of all things, a mere Ferox this time. He was fitted apparently in a conventional, yet incredibly expensive fashion. This one happened to be packing several ‘Heavy Missile Launcher IIs’ for some inexplicable reason, attempting to fight off eight enemy ships. I wondered idly why he didn’t’ just sell two of those launchers and upgrade to a Drake instead. As he evaporated, I didn’t mind helping myself to the salvage.
Nothing would prepare us for the horror of what undocked last of their rag-tag gang, sent out without coordination or even basic sense. It all seemed to be mindless adherence to that latest craze to make everything go fast on an MWD without actually thinking on why they were doing such.
This last ship appeared now before us. It was but a single Abbadon, the newest Tier 3 Amarr Battleship. Massive and fierce, it was well known as a potent tanker and capable ganker as well with thick armor and deadly laser broadsides. We were ready to do battle with it, and absorb what lasers it threw at us from it’s eight turrets.
At least, most of the eight turrets had lasers. This one was opening fire on us with what looked like hybrid turrets. Railguns from the looks of things. A few laser blasts lanced out from it as well, damaging one of the support cruisers. It soon fell under the bombardment of our gang and tackled, shortly before exploding in a blue cloud. The killmail arrived shortly after, and everyone was curious to see what it had fitted.
What we saw was shocking. The names here have been replaced to protect the guilty.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2007.01.14 20:26
Victim: CENSORED
Alliance: CENSOREDSKI
Corp: CENSORED YET AGAIN
Destroyed: Abaddon
System: E8-YS9
Security: 0.0
Destroyed items:
Radio M
250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Heavy Modulated Energy Beam I
Emergency Damage Control I
Energized Basic Adaptive Nano Plating
Large F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction
Local Power Plant Manager: Reaction Shield Power Relay I
'Accord' I Core Compensation
Ultraviolet M
Local Hull Conversion Overdrive Injector I
Iridium Charge M, Qty: 753 (Cargo)
Seeker F.O.F. Light Missile I, Qty: 122 (Cargo)
Iridium Charge M, Qty: 40
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That’s right. Someone had actually fitted the new Amarr Battleship with not only railguns… but expensive named Cruiser-sized railguns backed up by a few expensive named Cruiser sized lasers! Lower on the list was an additionally horrifying find. Not only did he use the most basic and poor armor of tanking modules, but he also attempted to combine it with a shield tank, using cruiser-sized Extenders, violating almost ever rule of common decency and simple sense. However did such a pilot ever live long enough to buy such an expensive battleship?
Almost shocked beyond belief, I read the rest of the list. This pilot apparently packed one named Warp Core Stabilizer, meaning he intended to fight in this monsterously poor battleship. And not only that, he packed an Overdrive Injector, commonly considered one of the poorest modules in the game. No ship ever has a use for that module. Lastly for some utterly bizarre reason, he had light missiles in his cargo hold.
I feared for my sanity should someone open his wreck and actually see that he had fitted a frigate-sized missile launcher on that 180 million ISK deathtrap, but thankfully we had decided to send our most fearless gang member to loot the wreck and incinerate what was left.
And so we left back for our home base. The fearsome Rail-ShieldTank-Overdrive-Stabbed-Abbadon still lingered in our collective minds, haunting our dreams with its complete uselessness. We sped home at full drive, stunned by what had transpired. Still, I knew we had done the world a great service that day.
We had vanquished what had to have been the worst fitted battleship ever.
-Aries
