Zoph eats at shitty places so you don't have to

Data said:
Anyone here could have just told you Subway sucks and saved you the trouble.
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havax said:
right? like that location is going to be any different. they all suck, duh, but it's calories in a pinch
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Yeah, like the Hooters review. But even more so. Of course twers know what Subway is all about.

But I had to do it. I was EXPECTING them to at least pass with a D or a C. But fuck, they yacked all over themselves when I tried to get lunch. My experience was truly special.

Maybe my reviews should include more obscure places... like McDonalds.
 
Dr Dance said:
Dominoes is notorious for center load.

Here's a PRO TIP for dealing with it:

Take a half bite from the center along with a half bite from the crust.
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What

The

Fuck?

And if they serve your beer with too much foam on it, drink it from the bottom.

Or don't accept shit products and shit service. JFC.
 
Popeye's (Adelphi Plaza, Maryland)

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Fare: Mainly Chicken. Also popcorn shrimp and cod.

Many times after I have entered this Popeye's, the long and slow lines at the counter and the woefully insufficient help prompted me to find my meal elsewhere. But this time seemed to be tolerable. A recent change in store management has seemed to help.

Remember when the Popeye's chicken sandwich was so hard to come by that niggers were chimping out all across the country? Well... at least the sandwiches are in stock now.

Although it placed second in a head to head contest with the Chik Fil a chicken sandwich, the Popeye's version was still really good... crunchy on the outside and tender and juicy on the inside. The red beans and rice are still my favorite. But they don't serve corn on the cob now, wtf? The green beans were good.

The customer service was perfunctory, even harsh. But at least my order was accurate. I do like the idea that the MEDIUM fountain drink is 24 ounces, and the LARGE is 32 ounces. It gets to be thirsty down on the bayou.

The rest rooms are locked. They don't want hoboes going in there and stinking it up with wretched bum odor. But instead of providing a key, the employees will offer a four digit code to open the mens' room door. It's 1234. YW.

My classic chicken sandwich, red beans and rice, green beans, and a medium soft drink set me back about $10.50. Not only did my bill contain a food tax; but, there was also a separate beverage tax perhaps because my drink was part of a meal combo.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone here has eaten there already. So how does my experience compare with yours?

My grade: B.
 
popeyes always has abominable service but the food is good enough that u still lose ur discipline and go back after like 6 months of hating on them
 
Dominoes in Hillandale, Maryland

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Because there are so many better places to eat pizza, I seldom partake at this best known pizza delivery joint. But since I was under the weather, Dominoes delivery seemed like just the thing.

To try to increase sales and recognition, they have branched out into cooking pasta dishes (not awful) to even subs (mediocre at best). They even have a chocolate brownie thingy that is gooey and sinful (good). But their mainstay is still pizza.

Delivery has become a rip off. You will pay through the nose to have yours delivered. Example: I ordered a three topping large. With delivery... over $25. HEY... Dominoes pizza prices have finally matched Earthbound pizza prices! ($24) But if I decided to pick up, my bill was only $8.49 with tax. $17 for a delivery charge? No thanks. I picked mine up instead. (To be fair, the pick up price for my three topping large was an ongoing "special.") If you do not buy "specials," the prices seem to be inflated.

The young lady who took my order was efficient and pleasant. Bonus! She was very helpful when I explored my options.

Parking was perfect. I got a nice spot right in front of the place to pick my pie up despite it being technically illegal because of the yellow curb. (Both of the Dominoes drivers also parked this way.) Both drivers were helping in the back with making orders probably because delivery options have become too pricey for many.

The pie itself was eatable, but not great. Keep in mind that I have been spoiled by superior pizza such as 3 Brothers Italian Kitchen and Buon Journos. In the first place, it suffered from severe center load.

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Everything was also severely "under flavored" except the spicy tomato sauce which overwhelmed everything else. At least the crust had a slightly garlicky flavor which would have been really nice if it was strong enough. I always order extra cheese because the regular pie never has enough.

Bottom line: Eating Dominoes will allow you to appreciate good pizza from other places moreso.

My grade: C.

I cannot recommend it. But you could do worse.
 
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Marathon Deli, route 1, College Park, Md.

Fare: Greek deli. Take out, sit down, or even local delivery are all available.

Here is a pic of their OLD location right next to Kevin's Nails:

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But they MOVED recently to a nicer location around the corner and right out on the highway next to Jimmy Johns.

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While they do serve many of your submarine standards, their specialty is Greek gryos. I love the stuffed gyro pita with lamb and beef slices. The white sauce and fixins make this a treat. Their french fries are better than average. And if you want, you can get those fries slathered with a house sauce that is a creamy complement for your salty craving. I keep wanting to call this place incorrectly: Maranatha Deli because the gyros are Godly.

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Unfortunately, the sides are limited to fries and (Greek) salad. But by limiting the menu choices, they can better excel at what they do make.

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They have Greek desserts like baclava, a super sweet cobbler of Greek confections. Other dessert choices vary from day to day. And they serve Hershey's ice cream.

The service was as good as it was prompt. But try to avoid coming during a peak time because this place is popular especially with the U of Md college crowd. And the recent covid restrictions about having 10 people or less inside the place at any one time might put an unwanted extra wait for your meal. I ate there on a Saturday before noon and had no issues with crowds.

A gyro pita, fries, and 22 ounce drink set me back $11.47. A good price.

My grade: A-. Highly recommended to satisfy your inner Greek.
 
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Baklava is Turkish you yutz

Deli looks good inside, food A+, don't like the way they plastered the outside with shitty advertising.

but +rep for side boob+bra shot
 
according 2 the ~great~ wikipedia:
"The Greeks and the Turks still argue over which dishes were originally Greek and which Turkish. Baklava, for example, is claimed by both countries. Greek and Turkish cuisine both built upon the cookery of the Byzantine Empire, which was a continuation of the cooking of the Roman Empire. Roman cuisine had borrowed a great deal from the ancient Greeks, but placenta (and hence baklava) had a Latin, not a Greek, origin—please note that the conservative, anti-Greek Cato left us this recipe."
 
ArakAtak said:
srsly - wikipedia?
I thought you were a smart guy

I know u just wrote that to provide alternative facts
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while i agree that wiki is a cess pool that quote is from some famous food historian i just found it there ok
 
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