Bud Light Presents..... by Eidelon - TribalWar Forums
Click Here to find great hosting deals from Branzone.com


Go Back   TribalWar Forums > Current Gaming > Battlefield Whatever
Reload this Page Bud Light Presents.....
Thread Tools
Eidelon
VeteranXV
Old
1 - 01-29-2007, 13:02
Reply With Quote
Shamlessly stolen from PBF


http://audioedit.vunct.net/filereq.php?file=a674n1



Bud Light Presents Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Battlefield 2 Medic Guy

(Mr. Battlefield 2 Medic Guy)

Some men run away from the firefight when their friends hit the dirt... you charge into the fray, dodging snipers, diving down and reviving the fallen with your shock paddles.

(You make me good to go!)

Nothing says "Here, fix that gaping, bloody head wound yourself, *****," like a well-tossed med pack under heavy enemy PKM fire.

(Can I get a medic over here?)

You're the only class in Battlefield 2 that can tea-bag your buddy, revive them, watch them get killed, and then tea-bag them again for good measure.

(Get your balls off of my face please!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, o' death-dealing doctor of the combat zone. We'll clear the way of claymores in the TV station stairwell so long as you and your life-bringing shock paddles got our back.

(Mr. Battlefield 2 Medic Guy)




Bud Lite presents... Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Jet Bomb Explosion Teamkiller.

(Mister Jet Bomb Explosion Teamkiller!)

Before we're about to capture the enemy flag, you heroically dive in and defecate your bombs all over us, killing us in a fiery explosion that only you and the opposing team can celebrate as a victory.

(Just got twelve more kills!)

Mistaking the blue dots on the mini-map as some sort of indication as where your deadly explosions are urgently needed, you will do whatever it takes to get the kill.

(Bombs away!)

Red nametags, blue nametags... to a seasoned bomber pilot like yourself, it doesn't matter.

(Sorry, my bad!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite, oh Champion of the TK Punish. And remember... if you're too close to see what team they're on, it's too late to drop your ordnance.

(Mister Jet Bomb Explosion Teamkiller!)




Bud Lite presents... Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Helicopter-Flying Commander.

(Mister Helicopter-Flying Commander!)

We count on you for your superior leadership and direction in order to win the battle, but you're too busy uselessly flying a damned helicopter to waste time doing any of that.

(I need these supply crates to repair my chopper!)

Could we trouble you for a UAV on this enemy flag? Or how about an artillery strike to soften up the defenses before we storm the base? No, you're using all your rockets on that lone sniper off in the corner of the map.

(Got to get that lousy clay-whore!)

And just as someone shoots you down, you die in the flaming Apache wreckage, and we think we're about to finally receive our orders, you teamkill the two guys waiting for the chopper to respawn and leave us instruction-less again.

(Yes, that chopper had MY name on it!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite, oh Admiral of Asshattery. Because no one can do a better job commanding than someone who never lets the commander screen get in the way of his cockpit view.

(Mister Helicopter-Flying Commander!)





Bud Light Presents Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Spawnraping Statwhore Guy

(Mr. Spawnraping Statwhore Guy)

While we're busy capturing flags and defending our bases, you charge across the battlefield to cut down the enemy at their uncap before they can even move.

(Stop running all around!)

Why earn points one at a time the hard way, when you can earn dozens of points simultaneously by bombing the entire enemy force to holy hell as they spawn in?

(Can't let them get to that F-35!)

Nothing says "I guess you should have held some other flags to spawn at" like a well-aimed tank round right in the cockpit of an escaping Blackhawk.

(Boo-yah, just got my Expert Armor badge!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Prince of the Pointwhores. Because we all know your precious Kill-Death Ratio is inversely proportional to the size of your sack, and you're teabagging us with a pair of Cocoa Puffs.

(Mr. Spawnraping Statwhore Guy)




Bud Light Presents Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Unsolicited Forum Criticism Giver!

(Mr. Unsolicited Forum Criticism Giver)

While most people are laughing at my witty commercial parodies, you can't help but try to find a way to piss in my Cheerios, because you can't stand not getting attention.

(Why does my cereal taste like pee?!)

If someone asks for your feedback, you remain silent. If no feedback is requested, you whip out your huge e-penis and bang it against your keyboard until you type out some whiny complaint that no one asked for.

(Oh no, I got it stuck between the keys!)

Nothing says "You're always wrong, and I'm always right!" like taking pot shots from the cheap seats.

(You have been owned!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Crusader of the Internet Forums. Because if you have nothing nice to say, you'll go ahead and say it anyway.

(Mr. Unsolicited Forum Criticism Giver)




Bud Lite presents... Real BF2 Men of Genius

Real BF2 Men of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. Jihad Jeep Driver.

(Mister Jihad Jeep Driver!)

Alot of people don't understand you but you still grab that first jeep in the round and pack your precious charges on the front grill and zoom away leaving your teammates behind.

(Please give me a ride!)

Up in the distance, you see the enemy tank coming towards your base. You break out your apocalyse now music and hit the gas; full speed ahead!

(Here I come to get me some!)

With a loud, thundering clud, you ram your 4 wheel drive steed into the side of that tank only to find your vehicle didn't explode and he secondary fires you to death.

(Son of a b8&*h!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite, oh Scourge of the battlefield. And remember... your teammates are not serious when asking for that ride and if they get in, it is just their own da*n fault when they die with you.

(Mister Jihad Jeep Driver!)





Bud Light Presents Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Shameless POE2 Plugger

(Mr. Shameless POE2 Plugger)

Thanks to your tireless efforts converting vanilla BF2 players over to this awesome mod, we can almost fill up two servers with players during prime-time gaming hours.

(Download and play this mod!)

While other men rack up points and stats playing the original game, you selflessly give up your digital ranks and medals to play BF2 the way it was meant to be played... without regard for one's e-penis.

(No random cone of fire!)

Nothing says "Play POE2!" like you jumping up and down and shouting "Play POE2!" Over and over again. In every post you make.

(Got no UAV... you can't see me!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, o' Prince of the POE2 Players. Because without you, we'd still be a bunch of dolphin-diving, statpadding lone wolves in boring ol' BF2.

(Mr. Shameless POE2 Plugger)



Bud Light Presents Real BF2 Men of Genius

(Real BF2 Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Retarded Ruleset Server Admin

(Mr. Retarded Ruleset Server Admin)

The rules on your server are so extensive, you need an entire webpage devoted to listing them.

(Kickbanned for jihad-jeeping!)

Attacking an uncappable flag, stealing enemy vehicles, ramming, and bailing out of damaged jets? Unacceptable. You and your clanmates doing those things? Perfectly acceptable.

(Get out of my J-10!)

Why play Battlefield 2 the way it was meant to be played, when you can create your own, easier version for you and your clan?

(Hey you, no reloading!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, o' Banner of the Bunnyhoppers. Remember... if it's a tactic someone completely owned you with, it doesn't deserve to be allowed on your server.

(Mr. Retarded Ruleset Server Admin)





Bud Lite presents... Real BF2 Men of Genius

Real BF2 Men of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. One Kit Badge Earner...

(Mister One Kit Badge Earner!)

You know who you are, the guy who’s so focused on earning his badges that nothing, and nobody, can convince you to spawn as the needed kit. With bravado unseen, you left your perception goggles at home and threw on the tunnel-vision.

(Dude, where’s my hat?!)

Though the team desperately needs a medic, you can be counted on to pop up as support, blending in well with all the others... standing helplessly by as the squad leader expires right before your dim and narrow eyes. You try hard as whatever kit you are, making sure to capture on screenshot the elusive moment the shiny, new trinket is awarded.

(Whoa man! That’s my golden scimitar!)

With teeth curved in smile you show up as engineer, moments after the tank has exploded... only to be the nearby sniper’s 500th headshot.

(Aw!... that blows... *pout*)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite, Duke of Doomed-from-the-start Squads; we could not use more guys like you.

(Mister One Kit Badge Earner!)
 
Eidelon is offline
 
Sponsored Links
Lethal_Ranger
Veteran++
Old
2 - 02-05-2007, 00:05
Reply With Quote
Wow. This was really great.

Definitely a nice post and thanks for making it (if you did).

In any case, kudos to whoever took the time to write all that out.
 
Lethal_Ranger is offline
 
Eidelon
VeteranXV
Old
3 - 02-05-2007, 01:41
Reply With Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eidelon View Post
Shamlessly stolen from PBF

thanks though
 
Eidelon is offline
 


Go Back   TribalWar Forums > Current Gaming > Battlefield Whatever
Reload this Page Bud Light Presents.....

Social Website Bullshit


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


AGENT: CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/) / Y
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:37.