my awesome navy birthday ball experience (shitty)

Fancy Cat said:
:lol:

that would have been classic

nah, i didn't get drunk at the bar. my buddy was having girl problems of his own, and was in a shitty mood, so we just left the bar and went to his place and got slammed.

i have only puked from drinking like 3 times in my life. i rarely get to that point.
Click to expand...


good call. btw this was a fantastic poop story.
 
Indeed. All for equal rights except when it sucks lol

And next time bro, don't wear your academy uniform. I'll have to pass this post to my little brother (USNA class of 09)
 
Lethal_E said:
Indeed. All for equal rights except when it sucks lol

And next time bro, don't wear your academy uniform. I'll have to pass this post to my little brother (USNA class of 09)
Click to expand...

yeah it didn't really fit like it used to either :lol:

time to buy a new uniform, one with some more "girth"
 
good story overall
i know all too well the feeling of needing to poop -NOW....


had a similar nasty situation once where i was cramped up so badly i thought i was going to shit myself no matter what - and i was stuck in traffic. just as i get to a point where my ass was in so much pain from being clenched so hard i just wanted to give up and shit myself, the traffic started moving finally and i made every light back to my apartment....

and as i sped into the lot i remember about the speedbumps that wrench your kidneys anyway at 3 mph - going over at 25 sucked a lot... screech into my spot, get the keys out and smoooooothly unlock and open and run upstairs into the bathroom when i realized halfway up the stairs that i might just not make it and i start undoing my belt and getting ready to drop trou as soon as i make it to the bathroom but at the last step my foot slips and i go headfirst into the wall at the top of the stairs, fall over, roll onto my back.... struggle back to my feet make it into the bathroom and SOMEHOW my ass made it to the toilet before exploding....

i came out of the bathroom with blood on my forehead and the smell of a 7-day-old-decomposing satan behind me.....

but what a smile....
 
the feeling of relief after you successfully reach the toilet is just... amazing. it almost makes it all worth it... but not really.
 
i remember i had to shit so bad once, that a previously firm stool had been crushed into diarrhea

oh my god that shit sucked
 
loop said:
good story overall
i know all too well the feeling of needing to poop -NOW....


had a similar nasty situation once where i was cramped up so badly i thought i was going to shit myself no matter what - and i was stuck in traffic. just as i get to a point where my ass was in so much pain from being clenched so hard i just wanted to give up and shit myself, the traffic started moving finally and i made every light back to my apartment....

and as i sped into the lot i remember about the speedbumps that wrench your kidneys anyway at 3 mph - going over at 25 sucked a lot... screech into my spot, get the keys out and smoooooothly unlock and open and run upstairs into the bathroom when i realized halfway up the stairs that i might just not make it and i start undoing my belt and getting ready to drop trou as soon as i make it to the bathroom but at the last step my foot slips and i go headfirst into the wall at the top of the stairs, fall over, roll onto my back.... struggle back to my feet make it into the bathroom and SOMEHOW my ass made it to the toilet before exploding....

i came out of the bathroom with blood on my forehead and the smell of a 7-day-old-decomposing satan behind me.....

but what a smile....
Click to expand...
ive never laughed so hard at anything in tribalwar ever.

im crying
 
the worst shit stories are when you have to go so bad you want to die and think you, a grown man, will shit his pants and have to run backwards just so if you do the shit will be closer to the toilet when you have to clean it up
and then you actually make it and start shitting and are initially relieved and then the burning that your stomach which normally holds pretty nasty acid couldnt stand any more hits your cheeks and you actually wish for a split second that you were running backwards with your pants around your ankles crying out to the gods once again because that may almost have been the less of two evils
 
insidious said:
ive never laughed so hard at anything in tribalwar ever.

im crying
Click to expand...


if you thought that was funny, elmariachi had a much, much better story...

wish i had the link... anyone have it? best poop story - evar.



though i gotta say this one by Fancy Cat (tm) is killer- mine's nowhere near as good - his involves girls, money, poop, alcohol, black people.... sheeeeit....
 
loop said:
if you thought that was funny, elmariachi had a much, much better story...

wish i had the link... anyone have it? best poop story - evar.



though i gotta say this one by Fancy Cat (tm) is killer- mine's nowhere near as good - his involves girls, money, poop, alcohol, black people.... sheeeeit....
Click to expand...

is that the one

Spoiler
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top