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T-Dawg
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21 - 07-11-2020, 09:00
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So many people these days are judgmental.

I can tell just by looking at them.
 
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T-Dawg
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22 - 07-11-2020, 09:03
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I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad.

He wanted to be a millionaire too.
 
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T-Dawg
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23 - 07-11-2020, 09:05
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Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Donald Trump.

But that's comparing apples to oranges.
 
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T-Dawg
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24 - 07-11-2020, 09:11
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I have a pen that can write underwater.

It can also write other words too.
 
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T-Dawg
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25 - 07-11-2020, 09:13
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My teenage son treats me like a god.

He acts like I don't exist until he wants something.
 
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T-Dawg
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26 - 07-14-2020, 12:30
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I'm a man of few words.

Maybe if I read more I'd have a larger vocabulary.
 
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T-Dawg
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27 - 07-14-2020, 14:01
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What do you call a hen looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees her salad.



Ill be here all week folks. Tip your waitress.
 
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T-Dawg
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28 - 07-15-2020, 15:54
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Is "buttcheeks" one word?

Or should I spread them apart?
 
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T-Dawg
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29 - 07-15-2020, 15:56
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All garden gnomes have a red hat.

It's a little gnome fact.
 
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T-Dawg
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30 - 07-17-2020, 16:00
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My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.
 
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T-Dawg
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31 - 07-17-2020, 16:02
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In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still don't jog.

This is a running joke.
 
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T-Dawg
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32 - 07-17-2020, 16:04
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Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas
 
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Dr Dance
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33 - 07-21-2020, 09:34
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A wounded dog limped into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the one who shot my paw."
 
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T-Dawg
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34 - 07-21-2020, 10:45
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Finland has closed all its borders.

No one will be crossing the Finnish line.
 
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T-Dawg
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35 - 07-23-2020, 09:46
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I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help.

But I stand corrected.
 
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T-Dawg
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36 - 07-23-2020, 19:50
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This is a true story:

I've done my share of housework over the years, but I don't do floors.

It's beneath me.
 
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Brasstax
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37 - 07-25-2020, 23:52
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Here is one of my favorites.

Tell someone to say "Knock knock".
When they do, ask "Who's there?" and enjoy.
 
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T-Dawg
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38 - 07-26-2020, 00:05
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T-Dawg
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39 - 07-27-2020, 18:21
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What borders on insanity?

Canada and Mexico.
 
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T-Dawg
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40 - 07-30-2020, 19:44
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My son Luke loves that we named our kids after Star wars characters.

My daughter Chew.bacca not so much.
 
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